My husband and I hired 5 young teen boys and girls to rake the yard of an investment property today. It was a huge job. While working I noticed a young guy I had not seen before with a rake in his hand. I approached him and asked what his name was. He told me his name and said that he lived across the street.
I was shocked. I’ve lived on the circle for 3 years now and know all the kids in the neighborhood, except him. I had never seen this pale skinned boy before. I smiled and said, “How come I’ve never met you before?”
The boy shrugged and I could see my question made him uncomfortable. I continued, “Well…I’ve lived here for 3 years and I’ve never seen you outside playing with the other boys your age, if you don’t mind me asking what made you decide to come out today?”
He looked at the ground and quietly responded, “I saw all the kids out here and decided I wanted to cross the street and lend a hand.”
I bent low enough to connect with the eyes of this young teenager and said, “Thank you. I’m sure it took courage for you to come over here with the other kids and as long as your parents don’t mind that you’re here, I would gladly welcome the help.” He smiled shyly and got to work.
Watching him work, I could see there was very little confidence in his spirit and very little of what he was doing would have made sense to an on-looker, but it all made perfect sense to me. He got in the way of the other kids, they worked circles around him, and he had little ability to rake in one spot for too long. My observations told me that this boy had little interaction at home with parents and likely sat in front of the TV or Xbox all day, which would explain why I never saw him before.
When we were done a few hours later I paid each kid their promised wages, except this boy. I had not brought enough money with me. The boy’s father dropped by and we had a conversation about my desire to pay his son for the work he had done.
He said he worked long hours and he had wanted the boy to learn better work ethics and responsibility but he didn’t have time to teach that since he was gone so much.
I asked him if he would allow me to write a card to the boy to thank him and encourage him to get to know the other kids by helping us more often. His father thought that was a good idea and better for his son than sitting in front of his X-box all day every day.
There is no doubt in my mind that this boy will grow up feeling misunderstood and unworthy.
Parents please hear me. When kids sit playing games for hours they are limited in common sense activities that build large motor skills needed to feel confident about themselves and their surroundings. They also have to work twice as hard emotionally and socially to catch up because most end up with ADD or ADHD. Most importantly, spend time with them.
It wasn’t what I taught my kids that I felt regret over, it was all that I didn’t teach them that I felt regret over. Will you make that same mistake?
In my card I wrote; “If you continue to focus on responsibility and learning new ways to work that seem right to you; one day you might be paid what you are worth. For today, I saw the goodness of your heart and what you taught me was priceless. Thank you.”
He may ask me what I meant by that some day and I hope he does so that we can talk about his dreams and goals for life. My guess is he has none because his mind hasn’t been given the opportunity to dream, but I hope I’m wrong.
My beliefs may be different from his parents but he strikes me as someone who wants something better for his life than what he’s got. Perhaps I saw myself in him when I was young. Either way, he’s welcome to cross the street any time.
So for today a young boy’s perspective on life may have changed, or not, but what matters is that one little gesture on his part changed my life. To me, its why what we all do matters.
