An individual on my Tele-Seminar calls asked:
“How do you connect with so many people on Social Media at the same time and still have relationships?”
Each of us can determine what type of relationship choices we’re going to make. First understand that you DO have choices.
If I make this statement: “I have to gain more followers on Twitter and Facebook or I won’t be well known among my colleagues or able to sell my products.” Then I have already put pressure on myself to force my way into the lives of others and will end up making huge social media mistakes!
Whenever you say “I have to” do something or “I need to” do something, you remove your ability to make the choice for yourself. Say, I “choose” to because I want to not because I have to. Choice allows you the freedom to feel more empowered. Even the creator gave us the freedom of choice – so give yourself permission to choose!
In my own social media circles I choose to reach out to everyone as though they were my closest friends. Does that mean I am close friends to all of them? No, it’s not possible when I have thousands of followers between Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and so on. I am selective with those I choose to be close in relationship with but I still reach out to everyone in a friendly and caring way. Those relationships that I choose to nurture I do so by staying in personal contact with.
The last thing I want to do is make all my social media connections transactional; meaning look at them as though they are only there to gain more clients or more business through.
When I first started out, because I believed what others told me about social media, I felt as you do, that it was over whelming and I couldn’t keep up. I was also taught to promote to my followers rather than be concerned about relationships. This will bring you conditional success. Sustainable success is where you choose, and where you will grow.
It wasn’t until I turned my conditioning around and began bringing great value to my social media followers that I understood how easy it was to sell because they believed in what I was doing and more to the point – so did I.
I would encourage you to do what feels right to you, but first and foremost give yourself permission to choose, (in every area of your life) and you will find the pressure of feeling like you have to do anything start to dismantle. I’d also encourage you to bring as much value to your followers as you can. Share quotes, find news worthy information, a great inspirational video, a link on occasion to your posts or products.
You will eventually see that you no longer have to “try” to be friends with everyone, you automatically become so when you contribute to their well being in what you say and do.
| Connecting to community can be profound, particularly when it is your community of followers who want a transformation in their lives and hope that you can help provide it. Our BFF calls can help! See above right for details. |
This is a great lesson in growing as an online entrepreneur. In the beginning I felt like every one I talked to was a potential prospect. Then I learned that it is all about the relationships, and started looking at everyone as a potential new friend. Now many of those friends have become business partners. When you make that shift in mind-set, all doors swing Wide Open.
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I agree Kellie! It’s about being authentic and following your heart…all else aligns
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Its said we have left the information age, where information was king and hording it was gold, and entered a time where information is freely available… and recommendations are gold. However you will never be allowed to make a recommendation without building relationships. Meaning.. we’ve entered the era of relationships being gold. When we abuse them, we will rapidly find we are not WELCOME to make recommendations any longer. We can no longer “talk at” customers or blast them with advertising, they will push us away rapidly. Building a deep true relationship is not only the key to success in business but also in life. Chose to connect with people and they will give you the world!
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It is so easy to not think of the person on the other side of the screen. I love this post. I try to visual the person on the other side and always remind myself they are alive! Not treating people like a number or stat, but remembering they are a person with real value to offer you.
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follow your passion is what I beleive,
I think we all want everyone to be our friend and want to be their friend when we first
start out.but we do find real friendships if we care for others
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Excellent insights Kellie. I love the idea of choice. Everything that happens in our live is a result for the choices we made in the past of the choice that we just made in the present moment. Brining great value to a large group of people that can help them to succeed in achieve their goals and dreams is what I strive for every day when I share things with my social network friends. I am so blessed to be connected with so many wonderful people like yourself who are creating a great life for themselves and everyone they meet.
Make it a great day!
God Bless,
-ed
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Well said Kellie, you must think of your online encounters in the same way as would in “real life”. Would you, in real life, make 1000′s of friends without even saying a word? It’s great point you’ve made and I think we all need to take it into consideration if we want to make meaningful connections.
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Well said, Kellie!
I once heard an example that got my attention in a very powerful way. It was a comparison between a person saying she has to do the dishes vs. saying she is grateful to be able to do the dishes. Such a simple (and to some annoying) action, which some people would be thrilled to be able to accomplish.
When we do our daily tasks with joy and gratitude rather than with a heavy heart our lives are immediately improved. Thanks for the reminder that in every single thing we do, we have choices.
Great blog….I really look forward to getting to know it (and you) better!
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Hello Kellie, Awesome Post! Way to DUNK it, girl!
You made a critical distinction in language that has a subtle yet powerful effect on one’s attitude. The difference in Power between “having” to do something or “choosing” to do is IMMENSE! Once someone recognizes the contrast, they’ll be sure to choose more positively.
Another amazing distinction is knowing that you are reaching out to the social world without any attachments. You are genuinely want to serve unconditionally and it’s truly Magnetic. People will appreciate how Real and Loving you are and can’t help themselves to hang around in your Success Aura.
Making it “transactional” is the quickest way to get people to flee like the plague!
I called that Human Repellent Marketing.
Thank You for Being YOU, Kellie Girl!
Ciao 4 NOW,
Tone
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Kellie,
Life is truly all about relationships! It is exciting to start each day looking forward to connecting with others and learning from them.
When I read that you were from Benton Harbor, MI I jumped out of my chair. I grew up in Berrien Springs. We probably share some mutual friends. That will be fun to explore!
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Kellie,
Excellent point of view. To many people in social networking are just worried about the numbers, the money and just want to be the most popular. Don’t get me wrong, we all want validation but at what cost?
We have met so many great people over the years that these relationships will last for years. Building quality over quantity is key for long term friendship. Thanks for sharing and great post!
Dave and Dawn
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Kellie,
Great post! I especially appreciate your comment about not wanting to make social media connections transactional. I’m keen on the distinction between transactional leaders and transformational leaders. It is interesting to see you apply this concept to social media. It is about building others up. Zig Ziglar said it best: “You can only get what you want, if you help enough other people get what they want .”
Thanks,
John
.-= John MCGinn´s last blog ..Leaders Take Action =-.
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Kellie,
Great post! Especially about the words “have to” or “need to.” You’re right when you say those words should be replaced with I Choose to…
Thanks for sharing this,
Val
.-= Val Wilcox´s last blog ..Meet Malin Berdette, World Traveler Extraordinaire =-.
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