Have you ever wondered how it is that some people see things as they are and ask “Why?”, while others ask, “Why not?”
Those who ask “Why” are often involved in waiting too long to make a change in their life, while those who ask “Why not” are leaders involved in action taking and making things happen for their lives through personal development.
Those who ask ‘why’ look for an answer to their pain, and when the answer isn’t sufficient they burst into the ‘I’m sick of this!’ or ‘I don’t need this anymore!’ – they give up and walk away.
The only problem with this modus operandi is that they take themselves with them wherever they go.
Leaders understand the power of connecting with great questions simply by choosing to. That’s right – it comes back to choice, and education, then taking action on what you’ve learned.
Asking a great question will provide you with answers that you can use to uplift your life and the lives of those you care about.
Strong leaders also know that asking a poor question will provide answers that delivers poor results, and sadness, over and over again until you are permanently stuck.
So what is a great question?
First lets talk about the 3 Things That Questions Will Do For You
1. Questions immediately change what you are focusing on
2. Questions helps you know what to delete
3. They provide new alternatives you have not thought of before.
Great questions need to be clear, precise, succinct, and structured in a way that make them easy to understand.
Here are a few examples of great questions that assist in developing positive, nurturing thoughts:
How much fun can we have today during our celebration at work?
If tomorrow never comes will she know how much I love her?
What can I do for you today that will help you feel valued?
What will help me create excellent client relationships?
How can we bring joy back into our kids lives?
What do I love and appreciate about my spouse, co-workers, neighbors or friends?
What step do I need to take to bring my business to the next level?
Here are examples of negative questions that bring intellect, and the spirit of a person, down:
Why do you always do this to me?
Why don’t you appreciate me?
Why do you get on my case all the time?
Who do you think you are?
Where have you been all this time?
Why isn’t our business taking off?
Can’t you see it’s your unsupportive attitude that created the mess we’re in?
Where is the deposit you were suppose to make but didn’t?
Do you hear the contempt, blame, insecurities and destruction in these types of questions?
Never be tempted to misuse your power in any relationship. It is crucial to living in a civilized society whether that be your home, work or social life.
Communication is power.
It can increase one’s life or destroy it in an instant. The tongue has been called a double edged sword for that very reason.
Communication is an opportunity.
In order for you to emotionally connect with those in your inner, and outer circles, it’s imperative to remember how much power you have while communicating so you can become someone who attracts more opportunities.
Communication will bring out the leader in you.
This takes time and practice. If you are wanting to grow in your communication abilities to improve your life then keep learning and remember that connecting emotionally is key to your success. Years ago I made it a goal to only learn from companies that know how to emotionally connect in BUSINESS. The link I just added there will bring you to the page you can find them all for your own reference.
Emotionally connecting is all about being loving. We appreciate you, and all the love you consistently give around here, so we know if you found this post of value you’ll retweet it using the buttons above near the title, or you’ll leave a comment below to share. HERE IS MY QUESTION OF THE DAY: What has been your very BEST lesson in communication, whether in your business or your personal life? Please share it in the comment box below. Thank you!!
Remember too that we have free TELE-SEMINARS all about emotionally connecting and communication right here if you want to be on our next call. –>>CONNECT
| Connecting to community can be profound, particularly when it is your community of followers who want a transformation in their lives and hope that you can help provide it. Our BFF calls can help! See above right for details. |
Kellie,
How empowering to ask questions in such a way as to move forward. Taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions clears the way for growth and learning. My best lesson in communication is learning to listen with my heart, not just my head. Opening up to the possibilities, not the limitations.
This has served me well in creating a world that allows growth. I’ve learned so much from others this way.
Val
[Reply]
Kellie, great great post on very important subject. Questions will make or break you. I appreciate all the time and effort put into this post. Keep it up please.
[Reply]
Pingback: Tweets that mention Connecting to The Power of Questions and Being a Leader in Communication | -- Topsy.com
Hi Kellie,
Great post. Asking the right question always leads to better outcomes. When my son and I have a conflict I always ask “how could this have been different?”. It gives him an opportunity, and for me as well, to look at the situation and problem solve.
[Reply]
It’s really interesting how questions can bring you up or bring you down. Questions appear to work like a lens that focus the rays of the intellect. Your blog was highly informative, offering me a new way to think about questions. I’m definitely going to try out your suggestions.
[Reply]
Kellie Reply:
June 15th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Thank you for dropping by Saleem! What a great analogy to use (the lens) with regard to questions. Thank you for pointing that out and I’m grateful that you find this post helpful to you. Please drop by again and again. We appreciate you!
[Reply]
Very enjoyable post! I think questions are so valuable! Weather we’re looking for information from our friends, our kids or from ourselves. We can get to the root of it all with kindly worded questions! Thank you Kellie!
~Linda
[Reply]
The quality of our life is determined by the quality of questions we keep asking ourselves DAILY.
I often start the day by asking, “What do I need to do today to help me get closer to my goals?” I make a list of the top 5 – 6 things to accomplish that day and stay focused on them until they are done.
As always Kellie, great post!
[Reply]
Kellie Reply:
June 16th, 2010 at 7:13 am
Excellent Question Eddie and for every entrepreneur out there that is one question that needs to be asked! Thank you for dropping by. I appreciate you!
[Reply]
I love “communication is an opportunity”. You are so right Kellie – just never stopped to think of it that way! Awesome post as always!!
[Reply]
Great advice Kellie! Questions are so important to get a response you need. Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. I frequently tell my clients that without communication, there is a weak relationship. So many of us need to brush up on those skills.
Thanks so much for your wise words,
Donna Merrill
[Reply]
Kellie Reply:
June 16th, 2010 at 9:26 am
Hi Donna! Thank you for dropping by. You are right about all of us needing to brush up on those skills. We teach what we need to know most right?
I appreciate you!
[Reply]
Kellie,
Having GOOD and Proper communication skills is an art. It takes time to develop, the tongue is the hardest part of our body to control. It causes more problems and blessing than one can imagine.
Thanks for a wonderful post
Bill
[Reply]
Kellie,
I’ve heard the great strategy to use positive questions like those you’ve suggested to create the change you are looking for, but I loved the reminder. You offered some very empowering positive questions.
The best lesson I’ve learned about communication comes from Jim Rohn who emphasizes the power of our words and the requirement that we choose our words wisely and thoughtfully. Of course, this means that we must think well before we respond and be sure our communication benefits the person we are speaking to.
Thanks for bringing this important lesson to the forefront again for me.
Dawn and (Dave)
[Reply]
Kellie Reply:
June 16th, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Hi Dawn, I remember Jim’s analogy of the pin head as the words and attaching it to a handle symbolizing the force with which we use those words and how it can be fatal. Powerful stuff. Thank you for commenting and say hi to Dave for me.
[Reply]
Very interesting post on people-skills and communication. It shows the magic of the word “how” in communicating and the risks of certain “why” questions. I will RT your post on Twitter. Excellent and thought provoking for personal and professional pursuits.
Here are some phrases that can bury success. Hope you will feel free to comment on this post.
——
http://katenasser.com/bury-these-phrases-best-teamwork-peopleskills/
—–
Best wishes and congrats on your post,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach
[Reply]
Hi Kellie,
This is my first time to your blog and I love it. Great post on the power of asking the right questions. A friend of mine Bill Mayer former tennis coach to Oprah Winfrey wrote a book called, “The Magic in Asking the Right Questions”
What a powerful way to change your perspective quickly and empower your life. I was just re-reading some of your excellent posts and I love what Eddie says to himself each morning. Assessing those things that are most important in assisting us in reaching our goals and to live a life well lived and focusing there keeps us on track.
I will start using this every morning to direct my course and keep mindful of asking the right questions that empower my life.
Thank you and I look forward to future posts.
[Reply]
Kellie Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 12:47 am
Hello Faith and Welcome! I appreciate your comments very much and you are so right about empowering your life. The posts shared here are for each of us no matter if we’re a ditch digger or an Olympiad, we need to connect to one another in ways that are on an emotional level in order to create the success each of us dream of. Without it, we’ll be swimming in a big ocean alone.
I haven’t read Bill’s book but it’ll go on my list of “Future Education” so thank you for the mention. Do pop in often and let us know your valuable thoughts. We appreciate you!
[Reply]
Pingback: Tweets that mention http://kelliefrazier.com/2010/06/15/connecting-to-the-power-of-questions-and-being-a-leader-in-communication/comment-page-1/#comment-783?utm_source=pingback -- Topsy.com
I’m a huge fan of asking quality questions myself and have even written a blog post like you too. I made a list of 50 quality questions we can ask ourselves to, as you so rightly recommend, change our focus and give us options.
Very important to know what to focus on and how to create choices for ourselves!
Thanks for sharing your insight and wisdom…
[Reply]
Hey Kellie,
What a great time for me to read this post. I have been focusing on teaching my team to ask questions and talk less. You have given me even deeper insight to share with them.
Thanks,
Scott Scales
[Reply]
Kellie Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 9:17 am
Hey Scott welcome back! I understand what you mean about talking less. If we could ask better questions we wouldn’t need to talk so much.
Glad you find this post useful.
[Reply]
Kellie…this is a fantastic post. I appreciate the questions on both sides of the coin. It is easy to see when it is laid out like this how you can literally determine how your day is going to go even just based on the questions we may be asking…ourselves and others.
And…emotionally connecting with people certainly is the answer to true communication. It is not easy by any means and sometimes has to be learned in the trenches of life.
I very much appreciate your wisdom…
[Reply]
Hi Kellie,
Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing these great questions with us. Leaders certainly ask the questions that will allow people to grow in what they are doing rather than bring them down. On the other side of things I suggest that good listening is also needed in effective communication. Sometimes it is the space between the words that has more meaning that the words themselves. Thanks again for sharing this great wisdom with us all. I strive to live this out in every moment of each day!
Make it a great day!
God Bless,
-ed
[Reply]
Hey Kel, GREAT post. I just met a woman who told me she moved 16 times within 6 years. It was apparent that she was trying to escape something but that “something” was her and it moved each time she tried to get away from it. Questions are powerful and so is this post. Well Done!
[Reply]