The World Can Use More Great Leaders Who Know Their VPA – Success Pillar Eleven
If you were to use one word to describe a great leader what would it be? I’d love for you to place it in the comment box below. It would be fun to see just how you would describe the person you most value as a great leader.
Would you use words like Genuine? Humble? Forgiving? Healer?
In review of Jim Rohn and Chris Widener’s book ‘Twelve Pillars‘ there are some fundamental factors that are timeless in all of leadership. The most important one is that learning to lead yourself is a must.
Success Pillar Eleven:
The World Can Always Use One More Great Leader
Many people fear becoming a leader because they’ve known someone who is brash and arrogant, and yet still lead, so this view of leadership isn’t appealing based on the example. What I find is that those brash leaders are the people who get the most attention, like the misbehaving child, because of the negative behavior. I believe these people to be in the minority of great leadership, but like a child who has not yet learned to lead with wisdom and patience, they will be held accountable at one point or another.
The word I will use today for the leader I am about to highlight is “Fruitful”.
Alex Mandossian is teaching thousands of people how to create a life for themselves, doing what they love on line, with a goal of assisting them in changing their personal economy during an economic recession. From my perspective, Alex genuinely cares about people and their well being and the fruits of his labor shows.
With all of his success, Alex no longer needs the money but he teaches what he loves because he believes in his vision, or purpose, which is to help create joy by boosting someone else’s personal economy. There will be people who will judge his motives, and claim he is doing it out of greed or pride, but until we know how to look beyond our own limiting, and judgmental beliefs through his heart-centered teachings, that is exactly what people will think.
I was one of those people who judged Alex in the beginning. I had my own limiting beliefs about sales, money and all sorts of judgments against people who understood it and used it to help others on a large scale rather than played small.
Alex Mandossian understands his own VPA BluPrint to Success and lives it out by example.
Like Alex, the fruits of your labor must be evident, and you must recognize the Source by which you acquire all great things. When you learn to help others from your heart, with a proper motivation of servitude, gratitude and love, the fruits of your labor will be self evident. The money will come as a side benefit to this choice.
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain
Another VPA quality to a great leader is forgiveness. Over time great leaders learn to forgive themselves for past failures, as well as forgive others who may have hurt them. They accept the path they are on with patience and perseverance, and within a few years in awe of the Vision, Power and Action they allowed to flow through them, they succeed.
Here is a wonderful way to think about how men and women become great in their time.
Observe the blossoms of a fruit tree that’s bearing fruit. The blossoms fall off before the fruit pours forth. So it is with leadership. Part of you must die to selfish ways so your fruits can burst forth to be shared with anyone and everyone who wants it.
If this makes sense to you then you probably understand how the law of attraction works.
Others are attracted to you when you have blossomed and your fruit reveals itself. Another way to consider this comes from scriptural writings where Jesus says,
We will recognize good people by their fruit, bad trees cannot bear good fruit, but good trees do.
So I hope you determine what your VPA is as you write down your values. Take time to forgive, time to love and live according to your calling or Vision, your internal Power and by taking Action in tremendous ways.
Don’t forget to place your ‘one word’ for great leadership in the comment box below and I’d be delighted to know you shared this post with others through facebook or twitter. I so appreciate you!
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
When Your Income Remains The Same – What to Do to Increase It – Success Pillar Nine
For years I wondered why I made more money, and had more promotions, than many of my co-workers and associates. I did not believe this was not an arrogant thought, it was just a very curious thing to me that made me wonder. I knew I wasn’t smarter, friendlier, more efficient or more talented than they were, I simply wondered how did it happen?
I once took a position as Assistant to the Vice President of a University and felt amazingly blessed to be there. While having lunch with some of my co-workers one afternoon I was asked how I got the position. Before I could answer, one of my friends piped in and said, “She does the little things very well and asks for more when she’s done, it’s just that simple!”
I was surprised, and SO thankful that she jumped in with such a wonderful response, because I was about to say “I knew the secretary to the president very well.” That was a turning point for me. I saw how much of an impact her answer on our other co-workers and realized, she is right, I did do those things.
This is the reason I write books like Vision~Power~Action – Your Bluprint to Sustainable Success, and why Jim Rohn and Chris Widener write books like Twelve Pillars. They change lives.
Pillar Nine:
Your Income Will Seldom Succeed Your Personal Development
I’d like to share one example of those ‘detailed things’ my friend mentioned in hopes that you’ll find a take-away from this post that is easily applicable to your own life.
There was a phone system at the university that was high tech in its day but the directions to use it were horribly challenging to read. My co-worker in the next cubicle was an older person and I helped her to figure it out almost on a daily basis. I didn’t mind it, but it meant stopping what I was doing each time to assist her. I thought about how my ‘helping’ her was actually keeping her from learning on her own and I didn’t want her to be dependent on me. I heard these words in my heart…
When you can figure out a way to teach people to fish rather than supply the fish on a long term basis you will teach them to live with greater human dignity, not just look for the handout.
I stayed after work one night to completely figure out the system so I could type up short cuts that would be much simpler for her to use, and perhaps would save us both time. When I was done I looked at what I had made and thought it was good. I recall wondering if that is how God felt after creating the entire world.
The next day I handed the instructions to my friend who said. ”I can’t believe you did that for me.”
She told our co-workers and eventually others began to ask for the short cuts as well. I found myself handing them out to the 6 secretaries on that floor. They were so impressed that it was eventually printed in the back of the university directory for the entire university and the following month and I was asked to give a workshop on the Meridian Mail system to teach the university employees. I was given a raise shortly thereafter.
This ‘system’ if you will, of giving to others has served me very well, and it will you to when you figure out that we are here to share Vision, Power and Action with one another every day of our lives.
Jim Rohn and Chris Widener wrote a simple book on understanding simple concepts and I think out of all of the pillars this is my favorite.
I made more wealthy friends in this past year than I have ever known in my entire life, and not a single one of them are wealthy for the sake of money. They are wealthy because of what that wealth allows them to accomplish with their lives. They realize money doesn’t make them problem free or able to live without discomfort or disease. They realize there is no security in money and that it could disappear over night. It didn’t take long for them to understand that money does NOT make the world go round.
My friends are influential because they did what I did in that story above, they created something out of nothing, gave it away to those who needed it for free, and eventually got paid for doing it.
What I learned from my own experience back then was that it wasn’t the raise that created the joy inside me, although it was a nice side benefit, it was the confidence it gave me to do the same thing again and again.
Read this quote from one of the most influential speakers Jim Rohn from his book “Twelve Pillars” on pg.89
“After you become a millionaire, you can give it all away because what’s important is not the million dollars; what’s important is the person you have to become in the process of becoming a millionaire.” Jim Rohn
You don’t have to give it all away. The point he was making is that you could if you wanted to, because you know how to get it all back again.
So here it is – (drum roll please)
- Find a need
- create the solution to fill the need
- give it away for free
- and you will eventually be compensated for your efforts.
That’s it! Does it take more than just staying after work for one night simplifying something complicated? Sure! It might, but the key is to find the need you are to fill. It’s important to have a vision of what you want to accomplish to fill the need of course and my VPA Radio Show may help with that every Friday evenings at 7pm EST. Just log into http://motivational-radio.com and you’ll keep your personal development growing.
Thank you for dropping by. I appreciate you so much! Do comment and retweet if you feel this post was helpful. If you want to read the previous Success Pillars see below.
Abundant Blessings,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Good Communication Helps You Influence Others Through Listening – Success Pillar Ten
We all know good communication is a vital part of life if we want to get along with our mates, our partners, our children, our boss or employees… but how many of us do it really well?
Isn’t it true that, in general, people listen long enough to think their own thoughts then wait for the person to finish so they can interject those thoughts into the conversation? You know you’ve done it before, or maybe still do…me to.
Its for reasons like these that personal development is so important and why books like the Twelve Pillars by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener are so important. We all need to grow, but I didn’t always feel that way.
Success Pillar 10:
All communication brings the common ground of understanding.
The year was 2002 and Steven Covey seminars were inspiring people all across America just as they still do today. My supervisor, Dr. Wayne Perry, Director of Physical Therapy at Andrews University, is one of those people who enjoy seeing others grow in personal development, so he hired a man named Dr. George Soper, Senior Vice President of Memorial Hospital in IN, to come to our work place and teach his staff the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
At first I was bored. Dr. Soper was great, but I was so disinterested in personal development at that time that he needed to strike a chord in order to get my attention. When he did, I sat straight up. I listened intently as he told us stories about how the skill of listening, and the skill of understanding, impacted his life.
It was as if I were hearing new information for the very first time. In reality I’d probably heard it many times before but not in story format, which for most is an easier way to learn. Nor were these concepts exampled on a consistent basis by anyone I knew to fully grasp the concept for myself.
By the time he was done talking I knew I wanted to practice the art of listening, and understanding, on my oldest teenage son, whom at the time had started to rebel. It wasn’t like him and I wanted to understand why. Dr. Soper’s techniques seemed easy enough to try so the next day I invited my son to lunch. After eating quickly I physically put my finger over my mouth to hold it shut, just to remind myself that I was there to listen and understand only. I wanted to see if this really worked.
It found it extremely challenging. I wanted to the do the parenting ‘norm’ and say things like, “You did what?!” “You said what to your teacher?!” “Well no wonder your grades are lower than they should be!” etc. etc. My will was in a constant battle to over-rule my mind much, less my try to keep my tongue still. I was beginning to see how damaging my personal beliefs had been about parenting kids with critical words.
“No wonder this poor kid feels rebellious. Just look at how many times you’ve wanted to correct his behavior during the last 10 minutes!” I thought.
To anyone who has ever done this I want you to know that it is NEVER TOO LATE to make changes in your behavior to turn around any relationship.
I remained with my finger over my mouth, determined to listen and to understand… and understand I did. I saw his pain, his desire to want to do well in school, to have better relationships with his family and to live a life where he could feel happier about himself rather than be corrected every 10 minutes.
My silence worked so well that it changed my life right there. I also worried my son greatly.
He stopped in mid sentence, as if to realize he was the only one talking. “Mom, are you okay? You haven’t said a word the entire time. You just sat there and listened. What’s wrong?”
I laughed out loud. My son had no idea what was going through my mind or heart at that moment. I wanted to throw my arms around him and dance a mini jig at him affirming what I had done, but I just smiled and told him, “I’m really good. I really enjoyed our talk.”
I left the restaurant with several thoughts and feelings going all different directions, one of which was “I did it Dr. Soper! You were so right!”
So here are a few tips on how to be a good listener and not an interrupter:
- When you want someone to understand you – say to them – “Please tell me how you see this situation”
- When you want to be heard you say, “I’ll listen to you first, then I’d like to share how how I see it.”
- Get clarification – “Is this what you are saying….?”
- Affirm – “I think I understand you felt….?” use emotions like happy, sad, hurt, frustrated
- Your side of the story – “From my perspective it seemed….” gently share your perspective and feelings
These tips are extremely helpful if you can consistently apply them in your life. Focus on them and they will expand your relationships in ways you can’t imagine and remember it’s never too late to listen or to understand.
Thank you Dr. Soper, Dr. Perry and Dr. Covey for teaching me how to be a more highly effective parent and person. I continue to teach the skills I’ve learned from you and if you ever want me to speak to your students about seeing their purpose or Vision, accepting the Power they have within them to accomplish it, and to take action on what they learn, let me know. 
Thank you for reading this article. I appreciate you so much! Please leave a comment below if you can relate to this post, and retweet if you found it helpful in any way. Previous pillars are listed here:
Abundant Blessings,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
The Secret Power of Sales is the Heart Connection of Life – Success Pillar Eight
Talking to an expert in sales was not my “thing”. In fact, if someone tried to sell me on a product before establishing a relationship of some kind my ears would close off automatically, as if it were a preconditioned response. Well…perhaps it was preconditioned.
I’ve come to understand that unless a person speaks from their heart about themselves and/or the ‘why’ behind what they are selling, they may know little about increasing the lives of others with intention. All too often we’re so busy trying to make a living selling a product that we forget to ask whether it will bring increase into the person’s life or not.
Pillar Eight:
All Life Is Sales – The Power of Persuasion & Influence is talent and virtue
In the Twelve Pillars, written by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener, they refer to Sales as being ‘all of life’.
Sales is influence, nothing more, nothing less. Rohn and Widener say that in order to influence others you must become a person of talent and virtue.
So how do you do that?
Lets first understand that talents are your gifts and virtue is your character.
The definition for Talent is; special natural ability or aptitude: as in a talent for drawing as an example.
The definition of Virtue is; moral excellence; goodness; righteousness, moral and ethical principles: as in choosing high integrity for instance
As we grow – we hone our skills, we create more opportunities for ourselves by sharing what we learn, but amidst all of it – others look to us for guidance or recommendations. This is the power of influence.
You were born to influence!
Have you ever noticed how much influence we have over our parents as babies? When we want something that we can’t have we cry and throw a fit until someone gives in. Our parents have options of course, and if they are wise they will resist the temptation, or simply reason out that whatever it is we are asking for would bring increase into our lives.
The dramatic exchange of sales in our infant years is what teaches us the power of influence; crying loudly, or long enough, that mom and dad eventually give in. Little Johnny wants a new bike. Sold. Teenage boy meets teenage girl and wants to take her to the prom. Sold. Going to college and needs a new car. (cha-ching!) Sold.
Wouldn’t you agree that we are born to influence one another right from the beginning of time? How you use that influence will determine your success. Will you decide to work harder on yourself than you do on your job? Will you work on your skills and character long enough to find out where they can take you or will you allow the fear of success to drown out those thoughts?
Take the 30 second VPA quiz
If you were flying in a hot air balloon looking down at yourself, what do you see yourself doing? Who would you be connecting to? Who are you influencing?
This quiz can give you a vision of what you may be called to do, or what you might want to be doing with your life, and wouldn’t now be a GREAT time to see it? I’ll leave you with this thought:
- V = clear VISION of what you are called to do or desire to do most in life – no one else can tell you what that is
- P = the POWER to believe God has already provided you with the strength you need to accomplish it – imagine the possibilities
- A = with inspiration to take ACTION you can do it one step at a time – no matter how big or small – you can accomplish
Education is vital to your success in every day life but truly it’s all in the heart connections of your VPA (Vision~Power~Action) that can move you forward in business, in relationships and in life. If you want to hear more on how you can understand this message read here. If you have time to read more of the precious 7 pillars they are listed below, and as always, I invite you to comment and share if this post serves you. When you share it this might also serve others. Abundant Blessings my friend.
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
What’s Your VPA? 3 Key Components to Turn Dreams Into Reality
Welcome! I’m pretty sure you clicked on this link to find out what in the world a VPA is. Well I’m glad you did.
Years ago I worked for a VP of a college who actually evaluated my work performance based on this:
“If you were flying in a hot air balloon above the ground – looking down at yourself – what do you see yourself doing? Who are you connecting with?”
I thought he was joking but he wasn’t. He wanted me to decide what my goals were, what I wanted to do with my life, and my ‘why’ behind doing it, then to submit an essay to him.
THAT was my evaluation? I left the office that night speechless, but feeling relieved knowing I had two weeks to come up with something.
For 2 weeks I tried to write something down and came up with nothing. The night before my evaluation – I couldn’t sleep.
As I reflect on it now I get a good belly laugh out if it. I recall seeing him in my mind and I’m thinking, “Why are you punishing me like this?!” As if I were a 5-yr-old little girl. It occurred to me at that moment that I had no goals in life. I had no idea of what my purpose was and it was startling to see my own reaction and how I had been handling it.
I sat in my stairwell looking up at the vaulted ceilings and thought backwards rather than forwards. The only thing that came to mind was at a very young age I sat in front of my parents television watching ‘Feed the Children’ and I wanted to go feed them.
It seemed to me that was a desire that had never quite left me.
So this is what I wrote down for my employee evaluation:
“I want to feed children that are starving. I see myself in an open field with many little orphan children and I’m playing and laughing with them to celebrate their full bellies.”
I somehow turned it into a poem and felt utterly ridiculous handing it to him the next day. I watched for his reaction, but he simply read it, looked up, and then quietly said, “Is this really what you want to do?”
“Yes.” I said confidently. “I know it isn’t much of a goal, but I never realized I didn’t have any goals until you made me do this exercise. Now that I know, I believe I can do something about it.”
Here is the amazing part – A few months later I was on a plane heading to Honduras to feed, laugh and play with 64 orphaned children! My wonderful husband, Jon, made that trip possible for me but in writing that goal down it helped me to see it before it ever came into existence. I saw how important that was and is for my life.
That’s what started me on a journey of getting real with myself, and with God, over a decade ago. I sought out mentors that were both head and heart connected to learn from and here is what I discovered one needs to have to turn dreams into reality:
- V = clear VISION of what you most desire
- P = a belief to know that God has already provided you with strength and when you tap into that POWER – imagine the possibilities
- A = with inspiration to take ACTION you can do it one step at a time – no matter how big or small – you can accomplish anything
Many People Ask Me How I’ve Managed to Do What I’ve Done…and I Say, “One small step at a time, and with great big faith, I find victory”
In the early part of 2007, I lost 2 family members in two separate tragedies just months apart. Through the emotional turmoil and travel across country to assist family, I chose to close the doors to my successful investing company and wondered what to do with my life.
As the year came to an end, life began to feel ‘normal’ again, until I took a bad fall on black ice and landed directly on my head; injuring my brain and neck.
Seizures controlled my life for the next several months, pain and neurological problems were my closest enemies. Although my wonderful family, and a few employees, were there to help me I consistently felt very alone. I knew I needed courage and a belief that I was not alone no matter how I felt.
There is Always Hope
From that point on, whenever I spoke or took action I fully believed my intentions were like a prayer of gratitude, which played the largest role as to whether or not my life was aligned to my beliefs. Whenever I exercised, I chose to listen to successful people like Alex Mandossian on the MP3 player; on trips I listened to CD’s of Jim Rohn and Les Brown; and when I was home I read as many biographies as I could get my hands on to keep the neurotransmitters in my brain connecting and thinking success. I also spent quiet moments, many times a day, reflecting on my direction and listening to that still small voice we all have inside. This enabled me to connect to others in a much deeper way and still does today.
Lets Use Social Media to Help Me, Help You!
As a speaker and a coach, I meet and train people every year who are on fire for change, and yet, when the engagement or training is over I am not always sure if participants implement what they learn in order to keep moving forward in their lives, which makes follow up extremely important. Learning something new and applying it to your life are two very different things. While many people tell me that their lives and fortunes have changed because of what they’ve learned, it’s the one’s I don’t hear from that make me wonder.
This is the reason why I wrote my recent book, “What’s your VPA Wealth Connection?” that will become a best seller with your help in sharing it. It’s a coaching program that you can do from home, or at my seminars which are very edutaining as I call it. Educational and entertaining at the same time.
With the development of Facebook, I now have a place where I can keep in contact with people from every walk of life and they come together to interact with me and each other. Such a powerful way to continue learning just by chatting with me and each other on Facebook, or by doing organized events like my Random Topic Events.
We pick a topic surrounding creating a dream or Vision for your life, having the internal Power in place to move forward and how important it is to take Action. I also look for guests who want to put up tips each week so if you want to do that let me know. As always, I look forward to supporting you and reading your “real life” experiences.
I hope that you will participate by joining my fan page so we can meet at the designated times. I also encourage you to type in your questions on the welcome page for our radio show so we can answer some of your questions during the show.
Remember I will be doing Live Facebook Chat’s each month so be sure to remember: The more you share and give, the more you receive.
If you’d like a jump start on learning to connect on an emotional level then definitely consider getting your own free copy of “Connecting Secrets Package” (look under the video to the right on this page). We want to help you get in alignment with your own V.P.A. and stay connected through facebook to keep you moving forward!
Abundant Blessings,
PS…..We’ll let you know when we’ll be live on Motivational Radio very soon and believe me, you won’t want to miss the incredible people I have the privilege to interview so they can share their knowledge of V.P.A. with you.
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
5 Important Choices You Can Make to Be a Life Long Learner – Success Pillar Seven
It has been my choice lately that when someone says, “Hi How are you?”, that I respond to it with, “I’m in a constant state of victory thank you!”
This will literally stop people in their tracks. They usually look at me and say, “Wow! Really?”
I’m not certain that other cultures do this type of platitudinal exchange; “Hi, how you?” “Fine, how are you?” “Fine.” and yet neither party sincerely cares what the answer is they just go about their day.
I’m not sure that “platitudinal” is an actual word either. Platitude means ‘common place’ so I embellished it to fit. One can do that as a life long learner. I’m certainly not the wordsmith Denis Waitley is as you can see from this wonderful description below.
Pillar 7: Be a Life Long Learner
“You’ve got the vicious cycle or the victor’s circle. Let’s get out of the vicious cycle. We imagine ourselves to be successful. We preplay it by simulation. We rehearse; we drill; we practice; we perform. Sometimes, we perform well. We feedback with reinforcement. Sometimes we do poorly–more input needed–always to the imagined desired result, always to the outcome we want, never punishing ourselves in the downward spiral. Winners imagine through goals, simulate through rehearsal, perform and then feed back.”
–Denis Waitley, excerpted from the 2004 Event, DVD 2 and/or CD 4, Track 7
So here is what I’d like to briefly share on this pillar that Jim Rohn and Chris Widener wrote about in their book Twelve Pillars:
- If you choose to be a life long learner then accept with that choice both victory and defeat. They are both inevitable.
- Feedback in business is vital to our growth or we stay right where we are. You can handle it – and if you can share enthusiasm with your team they can handle it too. As a team you can decide whether or not you want to use what was suggested and let go of the rest.
- Let go of personal criticism and judgment. It is not easy but it is vital to your success. Turn off the noise in your head. Learning comes more quickly from the stillness of life than from the noise in your mind.
- Imagine your goals, go through the rehearsal of what you want to see happen in your life, and then go out and do it. When there is a vision of where you are going, you can find the internal power that motivates you toward action. It’s the nature of our own choosing.
- If you need more inspiration then seek it until you find it. If you need more money then use your creative imagination to increase the lives of others and you will find that to.
When you make the choice to be a life long learner then the only real limit to your success, in truth, is you.
Do you remember when other kids would put the letter “L” to their forehead and shout, “LOSER!” and it would hurt your feelings? Well for us, whenever we do something dumb around here we put the letter “L” to our heads and shout “LEARNER!”
Learning to connect emotionally to your V.P.A. can bring you wealth of multiple kinds so stay tuned for more pillars of success, and if you didn’t read the previous one’s they are linked below.
I am always open to feedback! I would love to hear what you think of these success pillars so far and whether or not you have implemented them, or if they were helpful. Please comment and share below and thank you for taking time to do so in advance. It shows your desire to be a life long learner.
Abundant Blessings,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
How to Surround Yourself with People Who Understand Vision~Power~Action – Pillar Six
Today’s Pillar is very important to understand.
Pillar Six – Surround yourself with people who exhibit and live consistent to the values and skills you want to acquire and develop.
Perhaps you feel its hard to find others who believe the same way you do? I understand, but it’s really not as hard as you might think.
While my husband and I raised our son’s years back we did most of it unconsciously just like our parents did. We allowed our boys to watch an abundance of television, hang out with the neighborhood kids, drag them to church, not really contributing to the lives of others (unless we made them volunteer somewhere).
We believed as our parents did that we were doing well in our parenting methods as long as our kids weren’t breaking the law or offending people. I often wonder what percentage of parents believe that to be true as well.
When each of our sons turned 18 within a few years of each other, I noticed that it wasn’t what we taught them that hurt them, but what we didn’t teach them that hurt them the most.
For example, we didn’t teach them;
- how to have a clear vision for their lives
- how to remain positive or to have self control over their own thoughts
- how to invest in themselves
- how to control their finances; like setting up different accounts for necessities, giving, saving, long term spending and financial freedom accounts. We did however teach them to use a check book and a credit card like most parents do.
- how to surround themselves with people who are encourager’s and visionaries
- how to be people of action who could be go-givers
- we didn’t teach them to understand their own internal power or know how to use it
Don’t get me wrong, I cherish my sons who are very intelligent, loving, hard working, married to wonderful women and they are doing extremely well considering. We (and they) understand that we did the best we could with what we had at the time so this isn’t about beating myself up.
I know too that they will learn as I have, and as you have over the years, through their experiences and grow from them. Or they might choose not to grow from them, but either way it is their choice.
I’ll never forget lying in bed staring up at the ceiling saying to my husband, “Jon, we didn’t teach the boys how to live, we taught them how to survive.”
He replied, “Yeah, and what’s wrong with that?”
Jon was very good at surviving and very proud of it. We were both use to surviving and although I once admired him for his great survival mentality and instincts, I saw at that moment how limiting it really was.
I said, “Nothing if that is all you want to do, but I think we are meant to do more than just survive in life.”
As he fell asleep, I quietly made a choice to find out how to be a better example, have better relationships, be a better person for the sake of our little girl who was then six, and for my own sake.
Jim Rohn and Chris Widener talked about Pillar Six being vital to your health and well-being, but without seeing the truth in that statement you may never understand how important it is. Here are a few questions they suggested to ask yourself:
- Who am I around?
- What kind of effect are they having on me or my life?
- What do I read when I’m around them?
- What do I watch when I’m around them?
- What do I listen to when I am around them.
What I began to learn was that God gave us nature in all it’s grandeur and there was such awesome nobility in it to learn from. If we took enough time to watch it there are enough lessons in it to consume our every waking moment. I knew also that true nobility is not about being a better man than others, but about being a better man than you use to be and when you discover each moment of this new life you feel something shift. Something awakens inside of you that cannot be explained but you want to share it.
Associating with people now, right where you are, who can uplift you and encourage you to be a better man or woman than you use to be is VITAL to our very nature.
It isn’t going to help your today or tomorrow if you hang out with people who are ‘surviving’ and do you know why? You will not be challenged to be a better person, to grow in character and strength. Fortunately for me, my husband saw that changes were needed over time and wanted to find those changes for himself as well.
That’s what it means to increase the life of another human being. To learn how and to give back, and to teach others to do the same. If you want to have vision, to understand your internal power and learn to take incredible action in peace, then you may have to start finding other friends to learn and grow with and spend more time listening to your internal silence. Especially while you’re in nature.
Don’t like being challenged in this way? I can relate… but it is what it will make of you to do so that you can look forward to.
Elizabeth Ross said, “If you shield the mountain from the windstorms you will never see the carvings of your life.”
No matter what you go through be grateful for it as it adds to the beauty of your life, and remember to share it with others. Associate with those whom you’d want to share you pain and joy with AND who can challenge you to grow beyond it.
I appreciate you so much. To thank you for visiting my page I would like to send you a free gift of Connecting Secrets up in the right-hand corner. Just watch the video and it will explain. As always feel free to re-tweet and comment below and if you missed any of the previous pillars but you’d like to catch up here they are:
Abundant Blessings,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
13 Time Managment Tips for Your VPA – Vision~Power~Action – Pillar Five
Does sitting at the beach, sipping a virgin Pena Colada sound like something you’d like to be doing right now? It’s relaxing, peaceful, and totally what any one of us could use, particularly after a hectic week.
Often, those ‘hectic’ weeks come because of our lack of understanding time and discipline.
One of the greatest understandings you can have about managing time is that you can’t manage it. Each of us have the same amount of hours today as we will have tomorrow. The key is managing yourself during those 24 hours.
Do you want to Create Vision, Reveal Power and Inspire Action in your life? Then you’ll want to read:
The Proper Use of Time – Pillar Four
Jim Rohn is one of my all-star mentors. He once said, “Don’t start the day until you have it finished. Don’t start the week until you have it finished.” He also said, “You wouldn’t start to build the house unless you have a plan would you? Then don’t start the month until you have it finished and don’t start the year until you have that finished too. Save room for unexpected challenges but if you wake up in the morning saying, ‘what am I to do today?’ well then it’s too late!”
In the book “Twelve Pillars” by Jim and his friend Chris Widener, Jim spoke about suffering from one of two pains: “…the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” No truer words were ever spoken for my own life.
I once took a Johnson Taylor Temperament Assessment (or TJTA as it is commonly known) and it revealed an interesting assessment. I scored in the 99th percentile on being self-disciplined and I was shocked. I thought that they either had someone else’s results mixed up with mine, or I must have cheated on the test. Neither was true, but it seemed to me that I would know if I were a self-disciplined person or not – right? So in my attempt to prove the test inaccurate I walked through that day in my own mind.
“Lets see…
- woke up and had prayer time
- showered, dressed, made the family breakfast and lunch
- got kids to school and myself to work
- got home, cooked, cleaned, bath youngest and put her to bed
- spent 1 hour with husband
- went to bed
A normal day just like any other. Oh wow, what did I just say?”
It was true. It was just like any other day and I did it so well I could do it over again in my sleep. “Oh my, being disciplined isn’t bad,” I thought, “but being so robotic that my days go by without so much as knowing whether or not I enjoyed it, or impacted anyone else by my being here is!”
I knew something had to change but I didn’t know what or how I was to change it. It took another year or better before figuring that out.
May I share some of the insights I’ve learned along the way that have helped me create my Vision~Power~Action Plan?
Before I share them I’d like to remove an elephant that might still be in the room.
Mr. Denis Waitley once said, “Stop watching television in prime time and start ‘living’ in prime time.”
Prime time is between 7 pm and 11 pm at night when most of the world watches television. If you really want to ‘live‘ then Waitley suggests you write in prime time, talk with your children in prime time, go to an ethnic restaurant in prime time, spend quiet moments with your partner in prime time and I couldn’t agree more.
You may be saying, “Prime time is when our family usually sits down and watches our favorite programs and unwinds from the day.”
Okay, then here is something else to consider. If you watch television for 5 hours a night it could be costing you around $40,000 a year to watch it and it could also be costing your life according to the Wall Street Journal.
Think about this…
Years ago the Wall Street Journal did a study on television viewing in America. The study indicated that once someone gets into the millionaire status the average person watches only 5 hours a week and most of it is pre-recorded. In the homes of lower to middle class socioeconomic status it is viewed, on average, 7 hours and 15 minutes a day.
Another interesting fact is that in the homes of the wealthy the television is in a separate TV room altogether so you have to intentionally go to that room to watch it. In the homes of poor people the only place they can afford to have it is right in the center of the home where everyone is. Further more its on most of the time whether people are watching it or not.
If you add up all the time you put into watching television you may want to consider how much it equals in 1 year. If you take 50 weeks times 20 hours that equals 1,000 hours. If you divide that by 40 you’ve given away 25 or 26 work weeks which is a half a year.
So there is the elephant and I’ll climb off my soap box now.
************************
To be more self-disciplined would mean you could get yourself out of debt and get into a great relationship, become a writer, a wrestler, a foreign exchange student or whatever your dream is. The idea here is to just pick one and start positive changes for your life today. The only way to master something is to do it repetitively until it becomes a habit.
Here is where I give you some “How’s”
Take a few moments to read what some of the greats, such as Brian Tracy, Donna Krech, Jim Rohn, Chris Widener, and a host of other well-disciplined people indicated would be valuable traits to help you manage your time more effectively.
- Get your high priority items done first, without moving on to the next one, until you have the first one done.
- The key to high performance is to set the priority the day before. If you ask which task would be the one before you get called away then that is the one you need to do now.
- Never handle the items in your inbox more than once. Touch that email only one time. Drag it to a folder for later action, reply to it or delete it but touch it only once.
- Make appointments for yourself. Set aside appointments for time alone, or time with family and friends.
- Know your energy levels and get your high priorities done when your energy levels are high.
- Make a list of how much time each task is going to take you. If you see 18 to 20 hours on your list then you need to move something to another list for the next day because that is too many hours.
- Do some type of workout. When you have a specific time each day that you work out you will keep your appointments and be more clear headed. Bring your CD player while you are exercising and combine different things.
- Delegate your work and recognize what only you need to do.
- Learn to say No. (I’m going to write a post on this topic very soon!)
- Control technology, turn off the cell phone when needed
- Use templates whenever possible
- Every item on your desk will attract your attention if it is not cleared off before you sit down to work
- Develop systems to automate your work
These are all great ideas about how to use your time more effectively, but there is one that I try to always begin with each day and that is Prayer. Get in touch with the most important decisions you make so you are not distracted toward the trivial matters. To do this you have to listen to that inner voice that can be your GPS for total success!
Thank you for dropping by and if you enjoyed this post please comment and share! You’ll find the helpful retweet button at the top and the comment box at the bottom. My next post won’t be this long and I’ll try to combine two pillars into one whenever I can, but if you missed the past four and want to catch up you can find them here—-> PILLAR ONE – PILLAR TWO – PILLAR THREE PILLAR FOUR
Abundant Blessings!
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Knowing Where You Are Headed is Vision – Pillar Four
I will totally enjoy sharing the next few Pillars that Jim Rohn’s and Chris Widener shared in their book Twelve Pillars. The next few make so much sense that if you practice them you’ll see your life change almost immediately.
Pillar Number Four – Achieving Your Goals
Perhaps you get tired of hearing about goal setting, or you are already an expert goal setter and achiever, but either way this may be a new message for you.
Goal setting is by far one of the most critical ways to live an intentional life. All those who have gone before you, and succeeded in large and small ways, whether you agree with them or not, have two main characteristics in their lives. A few names you may recognize: Thomas Edison, Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Warren Buffett, Oprah Winfrey, and Jesus Christ.
They each had a goal and they each achieved that goal by going through both pain and joy during their journey. It wasn’t that they wanted to suffer greatly in any way, but it was an understanding of suffering that led them to believe that no matter what, they would succeed. I see two strong traits in these leaders.
1. They all had optimism in their vision which translates to hope
2. They all had a ‘why’ that was larger than their will
Think about what they were like before they felt led to these higher callings. Born at different times, living lives that were not all that extraordinary as children, but as they grew their values and purpose got stronger. No matter how many times they were slandered, or called a fool, they kept going.
What made them keep going? How come they didn’t give up?
I believe it comes back to human will, which we all have. Jesus said, “Not my will, but thine.” He knew where he was headed and he also knew that the ‘why’, the hope for a better life for all, would prevent his will from turning back.
It was not the goal that made these folks great but what it made of them to accomplish the goals they expected to accomplish. Jim Rhon made that statement a great force in my mind.
I mentioned in a previous post “Two Kinds of Leaders” that when I was 6-years-old I convinced myself that there were only 2 types people; the loving and kind – the unloving and unkind because of what one man did to change my world.
I felt that one group believes that there is someone out there watching over them and that no matter what – it fills them with hope. The other group I believed was forever doubtful, suspicious about everything, feeling alone which fills them with fear.
I didn’t know the words, suspicious or doubtful at age 6, however, when I learned what they meant I knew I didn’t want to integrate them into my personal philosophy. I vowed that I would believe in hope for as long as I lived and I’ve never looked back, which is why I now teach Connecting emotionally to your own Vision~Power~Action plan.
Goals that bring value to others, as well as to yourself and your own family, often become so important that they eventually change the world.
My client asked, “Don’t you first need to know ‘how’ your goals are going to happen?”
Not at all, but you can create goals in a way that will allow your will to be open to increasing every lesson one step at a time. Every lesson, whether an easy or harsh situation, will help you evolve and ask, “What can I learn from this to move ahead and to share it with the rest of the world?”
So write down what your goals are for the end of today. That’s right, Mr. Rohn suggests starting with the end of your day, the end of your week, the end of the month or even year and work backwards. What do you want to achieve? Once your mind is cognitively aware of the goals your body goes to work on achieving them. Your very first goal can be to write your first goal!
My love for you is increasing by the day as I evolve and grow in my own life and I want to assure you that you won’t always know ‘how’ to continue to move ahead on your journey but your entire job is to trust, then take a step, trust then take another step toward whatever goal you want to acheive.
My first and greatest goal toward success was in believing that God is truly watching over me and that no matter what – I am to continue trusting and sharing what I learn every step of the way with you. That may not seem like much right now, but if you believe it you too can achieve it.
Just in case you want to get caught up on the prior Success Pillars here they are: ONE, TWO, and THREE
Please comment and/or share and as always know that I appreciate you!
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Is The Desire of Your Heart Great Relationships? – Success Pillar Three
One of the greatest gifts ever given by the creator was relationships. In my younger years I saw poor relationships exampled every day; from parents to relatives and friends. There were very few “healthy” relationship examples in our area where drinking, drugs and abuse were prevalent, but that never stopped me from believing it was possible to have great relationships in business or my personal life.
We’ll get into Jim Rohn and Chris Widener‘s book, the “Twelve Pillars” shortly but first lets uncover one vital factor. Success or failure does not happen without cause and effect.
Thoughts are causes, and conditions are effects.
Your thoughts control the conditions of your life. The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life. The greatest spiritual teachers have discovered that you become what you think about most of the time.
So I ask you….
What do you think about most of the time? (Take a moment to respond to this question)
If you are a loving person you likely think about being loving most of the time. Happy people think about being happy. Self made millionaires think about whether or not their decisions will make them more of an income, and if not they put it off.
Now this cause and effect thinking doesn’t turn everything we think about into reality 100% of the time. As Denis Waitley said, “If that were so then boys would become girls because that is all they think about in their teen years.” For some it seems that is all they think about, however, it does affect them greatly to make a choice to do so and it’s rarely positive in the long run.
Thoughts = Cause
Conditions = Effect
For example; If you’ve been terribly hurt by someone and you choose to hold bitterness in your heart this has enormous consequential cause of angry outbursts, frustration over little things, miserable feelings and an overall unhappy life. An unforgiving heart is the effect that can last a lifetime unless you choose to forgive.
What? I am to “Choose” to forgive someone who’s hurt me?! That’s right… forgiveness is a choice just like getting out of bed in the morning. It’s not easy but it is necessary to do so.
No one is to blame for how you feel. Not the president, not your mother and not your partner. It is completely your responsibility to go through your life making choices that will move you forward and forgiveness needs to be a priority of your list.
Pillar Three: The Gift of Relationships
What if every person you conversed with were the most important person in the room at that moment? You would create a world of honor and value for the one speaking. How would you feel if someone did that for you?
Your willingness to listen and take a moment to be with them, is truly loving them, and it would create HUGE success when done consistently. Imagine how incredible your relationships would be if you were able to make everyone feel important?
I triple-dog dare you to do it consistently for 10 days. Measure your success by how well you listened without critiquing what the other person said – they are to be THE most important person in the room.
If you make a habit of doing it you will be connecting emotionally with everyone you meet and others will be drawn to you because of your unique gift of listening. What does ‘active listening’ look like?
- Eye contact
- Open mind
- Open ears
- A totally closed mouth unless your opinion is being asked for
- If you have something to add then ask them if you might contribute to the conversation before interjecting your opinions
My ‘Connecting Secrets’ on the home page can help with more ideas – and believe me when I tell you we can all use the help in this category.
In Business…
People who understand cause and effect will also understand how to achieve success in business.
I’ve coached people in their businesses and in their personal relationships in learning to connect on an emotional level with their customers and their familes. I assist them in understanding how is money generated in their business; who is it they need to be building relationships with; what are the constraints holding them back; and how they connect emotionally is vital to the cause and effect of success.
Successful people in the top 10% have different thoughts than most. They think about what they want and how to get it, and they think about what others want and how they can help them get it. Successful people know how to build relationships but they had to learn it just like you and I.
If you trace back to find out how someone achieved success in business then you will find cause and effect in place. You can put your feet in their tracks to find out how they started from nothing and became wealthy, and if you followed their path then you too can create wealth.
Unsuccessful people think about what they don’t have, why they don’t have it, who’s to blame, and why they can never get it, consequently all of their relationships suffer.
Your job is to think about what you want and how to get it, whether in business or in your family life. If you want a wonderful relationship with your partners or your family then you will think about how you can achieve it. You will search for better ways until your relationships blossom.
When you ask the ‘how’ instead of why, the ‘how‘ brings you into taking complete responsibility of your life, it gives you complete confidence, you become the action taker, a person of self control.
Did you hear me say your spouse needs to get off the couch and take action? Did you hear me say your business partner needs to learn to run a better business? No, cause and effect takes shape within you understand first, not your spouse or partner. I often say, “Be the hero you want your spouse to be” and you’ll see change.
Make it a reality for your life. This may sound cliche’ but what matters is where you are going, not where you are right now or where you have been. If you are not continuing your education where relationships are concerned then you are not growing, nor taking responsibility.
You can always tell who a person is by what they do because what they do is a true expression of their core values. Only action equals action toward success.
One of the kindest things you could do for any one is to share your ideas on how to be successful in relationships, in business or in life with others. You will build the relationships you want by giving, or bringing increase, into those you are seeking relationships from. Again, try it consistently for 10 days and see what happens.
Two Questions to ask yourself: How hard are you willing to work to keep the weeds away? How willing are you to cultivate your business and family relationships?
My personal belief is one of the greatest gifts ever given to us by the creator was the Gift of Relationships.
So what do you think of Pillar Three? Let me know in the comment box below and definitely share on twitter and facebook if you think it is content worthy.
In case you missed them, look for Pillar One and Pillar Two so you can catch up to where we are.
Abundant Blessing,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
