Do You Know Your Purpose? Let Me Help You See What You Can’t See

Do you know three people who know you? Are there three people who you know but they don’t know you?

I want to share with you a way to find out what your purpose is.   It is not difficult, it is simply a way for you to get on track with where you might be headed in life and perhaps even start a new career or a new focus.

I’m going to show you an example of how I came to understand this for myself and how my friend and mentor Alex Mandossian helped many of my associates understand it this past weekend while at a reunion for tele-seminarians.

Here was the exercise so get a piece of paper and pen, or do it on your computer.  Take a few minutes to answer these questions and see what you come up with!

Write down 3 individuals you know, and who know you
example:
1. God (this is acceptable)
2. Melissa (school friend)
3. Mrs. DePaiva (teacher)

Write down 3 people you know, but who don’t know you
example:
1. Ghandi
2. Mother Theresa
3. Jim Rhon

Write them again only this time, add what you respect or deeply appreciate about each of them the most.

1. God – unconditional love
2. Melissa (school friend) – her courage and strength
3. Mrs. DePaiva (friend’s mother) – her deep level of forgiveness and deep wisdom

Write down 3 people you know but who don’t know you
example:
1. Ghandi – Peaceful warrior
2. Mother Theresa – humanity driven
3. Jim Rhon – intelligence and candor

Now, make a list of all those qualities you see in a separate list.
example:
1. unconditional love
2. courage and strength
3. deep level of forgiveness and deep wisdom
4. peaceful warrior
5. humanity driven
6. intelligence and candor

Read these out loud (at least one time through) and put the words “I have” or “I am” before you read them.

What we most recognize in others are similar attributes we want to see in ourselves only we don’t consciously intend to see it.  Consider this; we can discover, or create, our purpose simply by realizing the qualities we see in others that we would like in our own life.

Stay the course on figuring out what that would look like to you. It doesn’t matter if you are young or old, this works for any age.  Going one step further ask yourself these questions:

• What kind of job would you have to have in order to serve in this capacity?
• What kind of value can you bring to others by living out those qualities you see?
• What field of expertise do you want to learn more about to enhance these qualities?

These are just examples for you to use if you struggle with clarity in knowing what you want or don’t want in your life.  Can it help you to narrow down your purpose, or let you know what your core values are by using this method?  It did me, and it has helped numerous clients to recognize what they want to be in alignment with in their life.

Love yourself and the qualities you see within, and others will naturally want to know what that special ‘zing’ in your spirit is.   For me, it is holy, for you it might just be the very thing that puts hope back in your life.  The most inspiring thing to me is when you look inside your heart and like what you see.

As always, I wish you joy and peace.

Comment and share below! I love knowing what you’ve discovered!

Leadership Lessons From The Wing and The Bee

As I write this I am sitting quietly at a window seat in an aircraft in Utah on my way to San Francisco.   In a few short hours I will be in California meeting up with some of the greatest heart-centered marketers from around the globe.  Of course by the time you read this I will already be back in my office feeling grateful for having learned a tremendous amount about great leadership.

I love to observe and learn, which is the reason why I love airports.  Everyone is nervously trying to board on time and still keep their cool; eat lunch before their flight, not leave their overstuffed bags unattended, keep their little children entertained or reign their children in, find their ID’s, use the facilities, avoid being randomly selected at security check points and yes, even make fun of people as they walk by like the two grown men were doing next to me.  It’s a fascinating look into human behavior.

I boarded the jet taking me into San Francisco and while sitting on the tarmac waiting to taxi down the runway I noticed the breath taking scenery of exquisite snow covered mountains.  “No wonder many folks came here with plans to be skiing for the weekend.”  I thought.

I moved my vision from the scenery down to the wing of the plane where I noticed a bee that had landed on the wing.  He flew from wet spot to wet spot as if he was looking for something specific but not finding it.   He looked determined that’s for sure.  After a few minutes of not finding whatever it was he looked for he suddenly flew straight up about two feet only to land on the other side of the wing and back again.  He was aggressively looking for something but unable to find it or, maybe he didn’t really know what he was looking for but thought the grass might be greener on the other side of the wing?

I thought how interesting it is that this bee’s aggressive dance with the wing of the plane is much like a human being searching for that one particular ‘thing’ in life that brings happiness. Whether young or old, life often finds most people aggressively going through life searching for something but not finding it.

I wanted to keep my eye on the bee just to see how long he could actually hold on while we taxied down the runway.  To my amazement he clung on to the wing of the plane while we increased speed and began to walk staggeringly slow toward the front of the wing.  His wings and body were nearly vertical due to the wind.  I was stunned!

His wings fluttered straight up and why he clung on I have no idea.  Finally, he forced his body back down and took a leap forward into the head wind rather than backward, which would have been so much easier.  It looked as if he jumped off the front of the wing then sailed underneath in one swoop.

I wondered, did he have a plan?  Did he know this plane would be air born soon and he chose to risk everything to see if he could fly against the current?  Did he survive?

What about you?  Are you willing to risk everything to fly against the current?  Do you have a plan?  Are you like the bee who wants to do it his way, aggressively moving from one place to the next and yet not finding what you are looking for?

Whatever it is you are trying to accomplish there are likely people who have been there and done that.  People who could make your journey much easier if you asked for help.  Finding them is not as difficult as you might think.  You don’t have to aggressively go it alone.  To find a master in your field you can:

1. Get clear about your idea first
2. Find out whether or not there is a need for it
3. Make a plan about what it looks like
4. Seek others who are in the same field by making solid connections through networking
5. Ask how others made it work through interviewing them or taking them to lunch
6. Remember there is enough space for everyone
7. Enjoy your uniqueness, and your idea, by allowing it to flow with the current not against it

This is all about setting intentions.  You may feel like you are fighting an unknown force, but in truth the only force you might fighting is the face in the mirror.  Learning to be the best you can be takes your mind setting the intention, your heart creating the feeling of the intention and hands to make the intention work.

As always, please comment and share!

A New Definition for Leadership – Be True To You!

I’m giving Leadership a NEW DEFINITION.

Lead·er·ship - [lee-der-ship] – The ability to be true to yourself no matter what age, race, sex or economic standing and living so that you are able to lead a potent life and influencing others in a positive way without the worry of what others will think.

This video is only a few minutes long but it happens to be so true to my definition that I wanted to post it for you to see.  This is the essence of leadership and follower-ship in my opinion.  After you’ve seen it, please comment below if you agree with my new definition or not.  Be true to YOU!

Leadership Lessons From a Dancing Guy Is Fabulous and So Simple!

I’ve often said;  you need to learn to be a servant in order to know how to lead;  that you have to follow someone in order to know how to lead; and that you need to have courage in order to stand up and lead; but one thing I have never said was in order to lead you must be easy to follow.  So simple and yet so over-looked!

This video was created by my friend Derek Sivers and I’ve linked to his site so you can read the transcript if need be.  He gives us a fabulous narrative on how leadership is over-glorified, and by being a follower, you can sometimes transform someone into a leader.

I share it because it’s important to note that  those who are afraid to be different and stand out of a crowd can also be a follower until one day they become transformed by someone following.   Please leave your thoughts below before you go.

I appreciate your willingness to encourage others to share and dare to be easy to follow, different, intentional, and unafraid to stand out of a crowd.

Public Speaking Tips That Make A Lasting Connection

Have you been taught that speaking intellectually is all that is needed while presenting to your audience?   We’ve all heard a number of people who are not connected to their hearts while speaking, and sadly, the great disconnect happens.  If you are a speaker who is “disconnected” this will be evident to your audience as well.

Here are some questions to determine how well you hold the attention of your audience as a public speaker.

1. When you take a break do people applaud your return in a rousing way?

2. Are audience members drawn to you during breaks or after you are done speaking?

3. How many of them want to become your student, client or member after your presentation?

4. How many calls do you receive to do another presentation or to tell you how much they enjoyed your presentation?

If you are connected to your heart, you will be connected to your audience.  If you are connected to your audience, they will be connected to you.

Below are ways in which you can take time to connect to your heart before you present.

1. Spend time in quiet relaxation and reflection before speaking.   Clear your mind to where you can hear yourself breathe.

2. Feel your topic.  Remember how it can help others and how it’s helped you. Feel how others will increase by what you are going to share with them and see it happening in your mind’s eye.

3. Be grateful and happy that you have studied it, learned it and now you can teach it to others.  Have a faith that brings about a new burst of confidence.

4. Be yourself, whether dry or funny, just be who you are and speak from your heart.

5. Appreciate the opportunity to be there and openly show your appreciation to your audience.

The great disconnect is non-discriminating and it expands around the globe. This is why there are so many would-be great speakers disconnected from the abundance in their lives as well as their audiences. Without a heart connection,  the brain will have intellectual challenges because the brain is the control center that shoots your emotions into action.

It’s time for you to gain more supportive actions by moving into your heart to become the best possible speaker or presenter you can be.  If you learn to connect to your heart, it’ll change much more than just your speaking ability, it can change your life.

If you’d like tips on emotionally connecting then Subscribe to this blog to the right and you can receive free tips for personal growth and an opportunity for additional coaching and personal assistance.

PS…How about gathering tips via tele-phone with other business people anonymously asking questions about how to re-connect emotionally so they can make better business decisions?  Click Here

If you found this post helpful please Re-Tweet and comment! The more speakers we can help the better our own growth will be!

How To Connect With Leaders Who Will Inspire You Both Emotionally & Spiritually

I am a Tele-Seminarian, which simply means that I teach ‘one on many’ over the telephone every month.  It also means I interview leaders from all over the world by phone, or via Skype, record the calls and play them for my community.   Through my ASK page I receive many questions like;

“How do I connect with leaders who will inspire me both emotionally and spiritually?”

It’s important to understand that not everyone is going to believe the same things you do and accepting that will help you in your quest to find great leaders to learn from.   You will not grow emotionally or spiritually if you close the door of your heart just because someone doesn’t believe the same as you.

Let me give you a good example of this.  I have a mentor named Alex Mandossian.  Alex is one of the most highly sought after, and brilliant, instructors in the field of tele-seminars.  He not only teaches people how to make a living by using your voice, he also teaches both emotional and spiritual growth in his lessons.

Alex was doing a call to promote his upcoming course.  At that time in my life I felt anyone promoting anything to me was a sheer waste of time and I was not interested.  A friend told me about his call one night so I got on but I didn’t stay on very long.  I enjoyed listening to Alex talk and he had inspiring ideas but the minute he started talking about his course, I hung up because I didn’t want hear a sales pitch on the telephone.

When I spoke to my friend the very next day, she asked me what I thought of the call.  I explained that I hung up before he got to the sales pitch.

She said, “Hmmm…you know Kellie, sometimes the things we don’t want to hear are the very same things we must hear. Maybe if you just gave him a chance you might find out that it’s something there that could change your life.”

Not wanting her to be right, because my ego had gotten in the way, I told her I would give Alex another chance but that I had no intention of buying into his program.

Little did I know, I would, I did… and it did indeed change my life, but it wasn’t Alex or his course that changed my life, it was me making the choice to take a risk and do something I believed and felt that I could do.

I don’t do teleseminars the same way Alex does because we have different businesses, but I have learned from the best and I’ve made it my own.

So I hope that helps you to understand that there are people out there who can and will inspire you, on line, at BNI meetings, at luncheons, on talk shows, on radio, in fact there are more free interviews on line right now than any other time in history.

I’d suggest you go on youtube and type in the words, INSPIRATIONAL SPEECHES and you’ll find names like Jim Rohn, Les Brown, Randy Pausch, to name a few.

There are people from all over the world who want to contribute to your growth and provide you with value just like I do.  My intention is that you learn to leave your own legacy by uplifting others in your own way.  Listen to that still small voice within and you will connect both logic with compassion, gain wisdom and knowledge, and learn to share with others in a way that is fulfilling.

Don’t forget to join our Connecting Community and receive your gift to the right.  By doing so you can find out the latest information about our up coming tele-seminar calls where you will hear fabulous leaders who strive to keep you inspired and moving forward.

Have You Wondered What Your Government Is Doing To Help Haiti?

My son Brady is a Staff Sargent in the United States Air Force.   In this photo he is doing what he loves, and when I think of him I hear his well-written music  in my mind, so this image is one of my favorites.

Brady has fought in Iraq and has seen things you and I wouldn’t want to even dream about.  War takes it’s tole on everyone, but it has not taken away the very big heart he has had since he was quite young.

There have been many times where I wish I could go back and raise my kids all over again, and correct the many mistakes I made as a parent, but then I realize that if I did that then Brady wouldn’t be who he is today and leading in such amazing ways.

He was recently sent to Haiti on a mission to assist Haitians recover during the aftermath of the earthquake.  Below is a story of his first flight there.  I asked him if I could share his experience with my readers and he agreed.  I have one request; please donate wherever you can and whenever you can to help this mission.  Haiti will need help for a very, very long time.

To my son…You are a leader.  I love you very much.

What I do for Haiti, and for Myself…

Flying in to Port Au Prince was like flying into a war zone. Mass devastation, yet the local grounds and natural land formations seemed untouched.

As we got closer to touching down, they warned us that it was going to be an abrupt stop. That was an understatement. The rear of the plane hit the tarmack with the smoothest of ease…but as the wheels began to grip, the front end slammed into the ground. The pilot hit those breaks with what seemed like every ounce of strength he had. You could smell the rubber coming off the wheels as we roared down the runway.  He threw on the reverse thrusters, improving our stopping power even more.

Ever been shot out of a cannon into a brick wall? Me either, but I bet it was pretty close to this. As the flying barge quickly (and thankfully) lost momentum, the pilot came over the loud speaker saying he was sorry for the quick stop but he was afraid he would run off the runway…(what a great feeling of security).

During the whole ordeal, I heard the faint whisper of a stewardess in my mind “contents may have shifted during flight…” Everything was everywhere…nearly losing 6 pallets of high stacked water and 4 pallets of food to what would have been a watery mess in the belly of the aircraft. I had to gather my belongings up, which had become UFOs during the landing, from the front of the giant open bay.

As we FINALLY came to a stop, engines still blaring, we dropped the aft-hatch of the Globemaster. What we saw were things I’ve only seen in movies before…people sitting/laying everywhere. Helos taking off and landing in any open spot on the fields adjacent to the runway and taxiways, crews rushing to meet the injured people on the ground. Planes of all types and other Helos flying overhead in search of others need aid…there seemed to be absolute mass caos. I swallowed hard and stepped off the plane.

I was met by a thousand staring faces. They all seemed to have the same questioning look of ‘what were we doing there’ and ‘do we have any food?’ Most seemed to be worried about being able to leave the country while others pointed to the food and water now being offloaded from the rear of the plane.

It took all of about 2 seconds before I noticed all the cameras…CNN and other world news agencies feverishly working to capture the pain and anguish of the Haitian peoples faces…it killed me. No hesitation…no common courtesy or decency to leave the people be…just cameras all up in their pain and suffering…inches away from their faces. What happened to being here to help? It seemed as though they were there more for the story and a shot at getting that ‘network’ position. As I stood guard at the front door of the plane, I counted the cameras I could see…97 cameras in a 150 ft gap…INSANE!!! I just don’t get it sometimes…

I stood guard outside for the AC for a little over an hour…engines still roaring…until it was time to board. Watching those lucky few faces shine, as though they won the lottery, climb onto the plane was one of the best rewards i could have asked for. It wasn’t the same as rebuilding their house or church, or bringing their animals back to life, but it sure was a close damn second. I didn’t really know what to expect when I volunteered for these missions but I sure figured out why real quick.

As we taxied out to the runway, there was a rabid excitement in the childrens faces. For some, it was their first plane ride…ever…for others, it was the last time they’d ever see the place they called home. At any rate, they were smiling.
Once we were airborn, we handed out the little bit of food and water we had on board…can you imagine…being so hungry and thirsty and the first real sustinance you get is a variety of cookies and powerade…nice. What a ‘Welcome to America’ showing…lol! Needless to say, the kids were STILL smiling.

The sides of the plane were the only seats available, as seen in this picture. These people are all on the floor. We took as many as we could fit.

They gathered up any and every little thing they could possibly find. The Haitians were apprehensive at first but eased their nerves when they saw more food waiting for them just off the back end of the plane. I carried an orphan out and put him down next to one of the female agents. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he squeezed my neck with all his might and took off running towards the food line.

The trip had come full circle for me. What transformed from an early wake-up and just another mission, turned out to be one of the greatest days of my life. I’m honored to do the work I do. I’m honored to have to opportunity…I love being an American.

Have a great day everybody. I hope this provides a little hope for you for our nation and for the world.

Feel free to comment and share.

Head – Heart Connections Reveal Far More Than You May Have Thought

With my previous post regarding generational issues I received more emails than you can imagine!  That post really struck a nerve.  Here is something important to remember.  Everyone on earth does the best they can with what they’ve been given, but there is so much more to still achieve no matter who you are or what you’ve been through in life.

Our logical mind can honor a connection in our hearts if we understand how the emotions (and the magnetic fields of the earth) play a role in your life.  Whether you are male or female, this applies to all of us.  We all feel emotions and it is a false assumption to believe that there is no connection between the head and heart.

Human emotions are now being documented scientifically.  Scientists are beginning to see that our emotions send out vibrations that can even reach satellites in the earth’s atmosphere.  Not every human has to be aware of the conscious benefit of this magnetic field to receive the benefits of it.

In September of 2001 there was one satellite positioned in the northern hemisphere and one in the southern hemisphere.  Scientists began to read some ‘off the chart’ spikes in the data from the satellites.   They over layed the data on to a calender and realized that one spike hit 15 minutes after the first aircraft hit the first tower on September 11th.  Imagine how many human emotions were being expressed all around the world on that particular day?

Our cognitive abilities are all linked.   The language between our heart and our brain; such as gratitude, forgiveness, compassion and love; send out a host of magnetic fields that bring harmony into the atmosphere.

Think about how you feel toward someone who has hurt you and there you will find sorrow.  If you dwell on that sorrow you will find hurt, then anger.  Before you even realize it everyone around you is feeling the negativity that you are giving off.  Ever noticed how someone in a bad mood can create a negative atmosphere for others in the room?

The bottom line is, whether you believe any of this is true for you or not, we can CHOOSE to learn so much more along life’s journey if we want to.  We’re all capable of it, but how many of us actually believe it?

To further peek interest in magnetic fields check out this video of Gregg Braden’s and feel free to comment here and share your thoughts about this post before you go.  http://www.bluesaltwater.com/stephendevol/?p=57

Parental Anger is Often Created By Generations of Anger

It is said that generation after generation the sins of the fathers are passed down. This is true for every generation, every race and every gender unless you make a choice to stop it.

For years I felt frustration rise from somewhere very deep. I would go outside my house, when I knew everyone inside was preoccupied, and let out a scream that would echo through the valley.  Why? It was my way of releasing the pent up anger. Where did it come from? What was the root cause? I had no idea, I only knew how great it would feel to scream with no one else around, and I remember doing it from the time I was quite young.

My parent’s were angry, their parents were angry and their parents before them were angry. It’s what I learned, how I was taught to engage in life, to deal with stress, to fuss when people weren’t listening to what I had to say.

I thought about anger management classes now and then, but I would compare myself to my husband and I eventually say, “Well I’m not nearly as bad tempered as he is.” and choose not to get help for myself.

The interesting thing about anger management is that you are taught to ‘manage’ the anger going on inside, when in reality, the anger is still managing you for as long as you hold on to it. You can’t run from it, or hide from it, or let someone else borrow it for a while. The way I see it is that you can only face it, pass it on to your children, or release it forever. I had no idea how to release it back then, I only knew I wanted to.

One day when I went out side for yet another scream session and I heard birds singing, cars passing by, dogs barking and life seemed to be normal. In that moment I realized my anger didn’t affect anything outside that wasn’t human and that thought made me think deeper.

“If I did this in my house my family would be greatly affected. The entire atmosphere would change, everyone would walk on egg shells wondering if I was going to implode, and they would even mirror back with some of their own anger.”

Then I asked myself, “Where is this anger directed? Who am I angry at?” I took a moment to think, and to respond. It was upward, directed toward God for allowing my pain, toward myself for not being strong enough to handle it, toward my husband who had an intolerable temperament, toward my father-in-law who also had a bad temper.  It was toward my Dad who lived in a state of anger his entire life, toward my mom who decided to remain in her angry bitter state toward my Dad, so on and so on.

Something bigger had begun to formulate in my mind. It was an image of my young son’s playing sweetly and who then got angry when something didn’t go right… and it suddenly hit me. This is a generational issue!

“What a terrible way to live!” I shouted. From that moment I knew something had to change.  I couldn’t influence anyone else unless I could be certain I could muster the courage to eliminate the problem for myself.

It took several months to figure out what I didn’t want those many years ago, and it took just as long to figure out what I did want and go after it.  Freedom from generational anger.

Generational issues, or sins, affects everyone.  We all have parents, and grandparents, who had something to deal with at one time or another. Drinking, living in fear, screaming, cursing, being hypocritical, holding on to bitterness or rebellion, pornographic issues, worrying, anxiety, you name it – your parents likely dealt with it – their parents before them – and now you.

If you realize you are teaching your children generational issues it’s time to stop before they have their own children. You can choose to eliminate anger (or whatever it is you deal with) so your life can be much richer, and relationships can be much more fulfilling.  There is a way and understanding that your choices, or intentions, can set you on a course toward freedom is key, at least it was for me and the thousands I’ve shared with in my programs and speaking engagements.

It’s time to STOP generational issues from spreading, but it all starts with you.

************************* Comment and share*****************************

If you need more inspiration before you can take action I’d encourage you to sign up to hear my free tele-seminar calls http://www.askfromtheheart.com with wonderfully inspiring people.  There is nothing you are obligated to do or buy.  I hold seminars, over the phone that you can listen to in your pajamas.  Sign up now and enjoy inspiring discussions so you too can learn to take action.

Lead With Intentions – Follow Your Dream Not Someone Else’s

My 5 siblings are extremely musical and, in my humble opinion, very talented. I love my siblings dearly, but no matter how many times I was put on stage with them I always felt the same way, “different”, and I couldn’t wait to finish so I could get back to my seat before my stomach lurched again. Even though I loved music I couldn’t stand the concept of performing, particularly after any family conflict.

Whenever there was a gathering there was inevitably one person who would send out a request for a song from us. I found myself wanting to avoid gatherings of any kind and started to complain whenever we went to family events.

I could understand why people wanted to hear us. They witnessed the remarkable sounds of these kids who blended harmonies in perfect pitch most times. I believe the remarkability of the music between siblings is an outcome supported by parents who make them practice, and of course, having the same genetic make-up. It gives people chills to hear it when perfect harmony happens.

My little sister had the best voice among us, and she was also a gifted writer, but shortly after losing her young son to a drowning accident, Cancer ravaged her body and she fell asleep permanently, taking with her the dream of having a successful music career.

My other siblings are still involved with music; on television, radio, or in a band, but who was the one offered their dream? The least likely of all, me. It was many years ago, but it was an actual recording contract I didn’t want.  I couldn’t understand.

A part of me wanted to do it for them, but as I searched inside my heart I knew it wouldn’t have been my dream coming true, it would have been theirs. It left me with one question; “What was my dream?”

Over the next several years I took a road less traveled to find internal peace instead of temporary satisfaction in the external world of music. I needed to find what my purpose was – for me.

When I finally understood how gratitude and generosity played a huge role in life my eyes were opened to the purpose. I was able to clearly state what I wanted to do and whether or not my siblings finally accepted my decision was not for me to worry about.

You see, to fulfill someone else’s dream is a choice you can make but you will subconsciously try to search for something else. You have a purpose that is solely yours, a divine appointment if you will, a God-given vision about why you are here.

Search within yourself but know you aren’t meant to worry about what to call it, or how it will happen, just look inside and know that if you are different, it’s quite ‘Okay’ to be.

The external will take care of itself with new courage IF you decide to take care of the internal first.

When my siblings struggle with relationships, or their company needs a new creative plan, they call me to talk. I love that, not because it’s what I do for a living, but just because they feel loved by me when I sincerely listen, and I can serve them with all my heart in this capacity.  To serve others and live generously is my purpose and it’s brought more joy than you can imagine.

Even if I never sing again, I’m living out my dream to inspire as many people as I can, to connect their head and heart and to dream the impossible.  When you learn more about living with intent, living out your purpose, you will also find hope, faith and love in the process.

So…if you know you have a purpose, allow quiet moments of doing nothing to be your first order of business.  Clarity and vision will come as you do nothing but listen.  Your mind will focus and plans will begin to take shape.  Create a habit of doing nothing for at least 10 minutes a day.  Mindful practice is just the beginning of becoming a great leader, servant and friend.

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