If you aren’t familiar with Derek, you might have heard of the company he founded called CDBaby.Com.  He sold it a few years ago for $22 Million dollars, which incidentally he put into a trust fund to help aspiring musicians live out their dreams, but that won’t be touched until after he dies.  I perish the thought of Derek not being around to share his wisdom, but what a wonderful way to leave a legacy when that day comes.

I first found Derek on Twitter, when I began my on-line career in 2008/2009.  I was recovering from a brain/spine injury while transitioning my coaching company to help a larger audience create better emotional connections in their personal and professional life.  I was excited to be meeting new faces on line and so Derek was just one in a sea of faces at the time.  

I remembered Derek’s Twitter page because of his adorable profile pic, but I had never heard of CDBaby or Derek.  From a few of his tweets it appeared to me that he was into music and trying to figure some things out, or at least that was my pre-judgement at the time.  I quickly left his page and went about working on my business.

Months went by and I hadn’t thought about him again until someone sent me a link to an interview and suggested I listen to it.  It was something about ‘what not to do in business’, which I was interested in, so I clicked the link and who did I see?  That’s right, Derek, but this particular interview was filled with so much profanity that I had a difficult time listening to him.  I clicked away from it after a few minutes but I remembered his familiar name as the guy with the potty mouth who’s Twitter page had tons of followers.  That was all I knew about him but I had decided it was enough.

Months later I’m visiting North Carolina, while celebrating the 50th wedding anniversary of an Aunt and Uncle, when they told us we were staying at Elton John’s house (yes, the infamous musician).  It was a very large, very pink house which my husband got a kick out of.  Elton no longer owned the home but my family and I thought it was pretty cool to be staying where he use to live.  We decided to sleep in what appeared to be a sun room, and soon settled in.

On our second night there however, something very odd happened.   It was the middle of the night and I was awakened by a whisper in my ear.  The ‘whisper’ said, “Get up and write Derek Sivers.”  Now I am aware of how weird this sounds so go ahead and think it – I know I certainly did.

At first I thought it was my husband talking in his sleep, but clearly it was not as I heard him snoring while facing the other direction.

I thought, “I must be hearing things.”  So I turned over and settled down to go back to sleep.

Again I heard the whisper. “Get up and write to Derek Sivers.”

My eyes popped open and now my mind was racing.  I slowly turned over, not wanting to wake my husband who might think me mad, and I whispered, “The guy with the potty mouth?! Now why would I do that? He doesn’t even know me, and besides, what could I possibly say to him that would make any difference to him?”

All kinds of other thoughts ran through my head too, like, “I can see it now, tomorrows headlines would read, “Woman gets arrested for hearing voices and stalking Derek Sivers.”  Although I laughed to myself thinking about it, the fear behind that same thought also prevented me from getting up.

I tried to push the idea away again, turned on my stomach and tried to relax.  It was no use.  I was urged to communicate with this man a third time. (Deep sigh)

I finally relented and said, “Oh fine!”.  I threw off the covers, now waking my husband who wondered what I was doing up in the middle of the night.  I went to open my mouth to try and explain but it didn’t even make logical sense to me, so I simply told him I was sorry for waking him and we’d talk in the morning.  I left our bedroom to search for an office area in Elton’s house.

Now feeling like a prowler with flashlight in hand, I found a computer in the den.  I sat down in the large office chair and wondered who else would be awake at this awful hour.  I let out another big sigh and reached below to turn on the computer.  When the monitor illuminated my task ahead I began researching Derek’s email address, and allowed my fingers to wake up as they glided along the key board.

I opened up my email and without going into too much detail to Mr. Sivers, I explained that I was currently staying in Elton John’s old house, where I felt inspired (more like pressured) to write to him.  I told him I didn’t really want to write him, but also that I couldn’t get back to sleep until I did.  I tried to convince myself, and him, that I really wasn’t a nut case, hoping he would not ask my children’s opinion of course, but that I wasn’t sure of the reason I was to write to him.  I said I didn’t have anything profound, or wise, to share except that I would have liked to heard his interview without all the cussing.  I think I also mentioned that if he wanted to call the internet police and have me arrested I would understand, because this was by far the craziest email I had ever written.

Well, Derek being Derek, sent back the most gracious reply; “Hi Kellie, Thanks for writing and saying hi.  Elton John’s house? That’s impressive.  I enjoy hearing from people so no problem at all. Feel free to write me anytime. Derek”

Really?  This guy with the potty mouth, that I tried to avoid or ignore, was actually nice? How can that be?!

Derek immediately gained my respect that day, potty mouth and all.  You see he didn’t judge my crazy message, he accepted it.  He didn’t stop me from writing him, he encouraged it.  He didn’t have a secretary write me and say, ‘don’t call us we’ll call you’.  Instead, he acknowledged my decision to get up and write him.

I realize that I have a purpose to fulfill on this planet, just like you do, and I needed to meet Derek Sivers in order to complete it.  There is someone out there who needs to connect with you too in order for them to complete their mission.  That’s just how life works and how we help one another evolve as co-creators.

I have had many guru’s coaching and training me over the course of my on-line business career, but not one of them has gained my fondest respect to the degree that Derek Sivers has.  Not that I play favorites, but for the rest of my life I will be grateful for the night whispers, which I now get often, and I will follow each one that I hear as they lead me to some of the greatest treasures on earth; Derek Sivers being one of them of course, and the gift of loving others right where they are without judging them – just to name a few.

When people send me crazy messages at three in the morning I am just as gracious as he was when I respond to them, and I have met the most amazing people because of it.  What a fantastic lesson.

If I could do anything to help you in your entrepreneurial business it would be to recommend one thing (outside of being coached by me of course), and that is get to know Derek.  Buy his book(s), listen to his videos, watch his amazing TED talks, and simply learn from him.  You will begin to have your eyes opened in ways you never thought possible; starting with learning to love who you are and to see how you can help serve the world best by being you.  It’s important to your future, you just might not know it yet.

If I could teach you how to say no – would you do it?  We shall see…

THE PERSONAL NO

You want to master a certain project.  It’s been sitting there staring you in the face for weeks but you keep putting it off, why?  Not sure where to begin, you’d rather do other things that you are more comfortable with.  This is where the ‘personal no’ comes in.  If you can’t tell yourself no, then how do you expect to tell others no when it is needed?

“NO” you don’t need to mow the lawn right this moment, “NO” it isn’t necessary to eat that chocolate cake that will add pounds to your hips. “NO” you aren’t someone who needs to brow-beat your teenager to get them to clean their room.

The personal no begins internally.  If you know you need to get something done but you allow yourself to get side-tracked, there is something very important to keep in mind:  The way you do anything is the way you’ll do everything. Being successful begins here and now.  Succeed at saying ‘no’ to yourself because it is vital if you want to succeed in saying ‘yes’ to future opportunities as a responsible, self-controlled (yet still creative and fun) adult.

THE INTERPERSONAL NO

When others ask you to do something do you find yourself saying ‘yes’ when in reality what you want to say is “NO!”?

Most people have been there, but it doesn’t have to be as tough as you might think.  If you are able to tell yourself NO then you can say no to others much more easily and practice makes perfect right?

Most often, the reason we don’t want to say ‘no’ is to maintain an image of being Mister, or Miss, Nice Guy.   The problem of course is that the perception is inaccurate in our own mind about saying no.  Although it may be true that someone can mis-interpret our intention while saying no, and it is also true that we could regret saying ‘yes’ if we aren’t truthful about it.  If inside your heart you are really saying no, then say no with your words as well so you can be in integrity with yourself.

Here are a few ways that you can do so without losing your ‘nice guy’ image if that seems important to you right now.  I say, ‘right now’ because my hope is that eventually you will come to understand that God tells us not to be concerned about our reputation as we live this life but when we experience pride our ego tells us differently.

1. Sorry, I’ll have to say no on that right now but maybe next time?

2. I’d like to help you out but I’m going to be unavailable during that time.

3. I will have to say no, but check back with me on your next project and hopefully I can help.

If you let people know you are willing but unavailable then the rejection is less painful.  Not everyone will react favorably but what is important is that you are open to saying no in a way where you remain truthful both internally and externally.

THE GLOBAL NO

Ever drive by billboards that show graphic content you wish you hadn’t seen?  Maybe you have a purpose in your life and yet you are continually distracted from your path by sales calls or surfing the internet.  What about movies when you’re in the movie theater that make you cringe or give you nightmares?

The ‘Global No’ is important to say, so you can turn away from things that lead to impure thoughts, negative thinking, unhealthy distractions or fear induced living.

Think about it, if we tell our kids that ‘R’ rated movies aren’t good for them to watch, then why are they good for us?  If we tell someone we’re going to do something and yet don’t do it because we got caught up on facebook or twitter then our word means nothing.

This double standard is something many people struggle with.  If you have children, you can rest assured that your kids will learn as well.  If everything you say and do influences you, or someone near you, then my guess is you would think twice about what you say and do, and how imperative it is to learn the word no.

Practice, practice, practice until you become so good at it, that your mind and heart feel lighter.  The level of confidence you can gain by making the choice to say NO is incredible because it opens up many more opportunities to say YES to all the things you want to do.

Feeling overwhelmed?  Take more responsibility in your life and learn the 3 “NO’s”.  It’s nobody else’s fault if overwhelm has set in.  What matters is the choice you make to either stay stuck in it or grow beyond it.

My ten free videos can also help.  Log in to the right and find out what more if you wish, and remember to comment and share before you go!

Blessings+

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

I’d like to share an excerpt with you from my newest book, “Connecting to Faith, Hope and Love.  I think it speaks to the heart on the greatest topic there is – LOVE.

This might be a little deep for you first thing in the morning, but grab a cup of coffee, sit back and let it soak in because it applies to each one of us in our every day lives.

You cannot love until you learn to forgive.

What does forgiveness have to do with love?

John P. Rutledge said, “The worst slavery in the world often involves our own anger, bitterness and desires for revenge. We enslave ourselves in our little kingdoms of ‘evening the score’.”

Mr. Rutledge is so right.  Taking a step forward by being free from all bitterness allows you to love in a way that cannot be compared.

Have you ever done something dumb where you needed to be forgiven?  Did you receive it?

Imagine for a moment a chain that is clamped to a person’s shoulder who has hurt you.  The links to the chain are long and thick.  The other end of the chain is attached to your own shoulder by a heavy clamp.  This is what bitterness might look like if we could see it.

Why would we walk around being chained to someone else, particularly if we could prevent it?  Doesn’t that seem ludicrous?

What if you are told that the only way the chain breaks is when you choose forgiveness toward the other person, and when you do the clamp releases from your shoulder and you are free to love again. Would you do it?  Or would you choose to stay chained forever?

I know it’s not easy, but I also know there are plenty of times in my own life when I chose not to forgive and it hurt me and those close to me.  Once I forgave I was able to be free to love again.

When you forgive, there is a force that is so powerful it is enough to break that chain permanently.  It’s a choice powerful enough to allow you to live again, in a way you hadn’t lived by being chained to the other person’s shoulder.  You can be free to live your life with joy and nothing can dim your light unless you allow it.

Do you live by the proverbial rule, “I can forgive but I don’t have to forget.”?

The world teaches us; to bring up our hurts over, and over, again so we are continuously reminded of the pain. This doesn’t let the person off your bitterness hook does it?  It keeps you attached to the pain, and of course to them.

When you can love to the point where you are willing to give up the reminders, whether friend or foe has hurt you, then you are ready to live the life you want.

Hopefully you have forgiveness in your heart all the time and you are creating sustainable relationships based on love, whether in your business or in your personal life.

Some of the greatest men and women in history understood that success takes total devotion, whether it was to a partner, a subject matter or in some cases to a product.  Devotion comes from love, and love can only come when it is free from repressed emotions.

So let those chains fall from your shoulders today.  Be free to love, so you can be free to live your dream life.

Happy Valentines Day and don’t forget to pick up your Free Connecting Secrets before you leave by signing in to the boxes on the right, or visit our store front.  Also, comment and share if you have a moment!

Abundant Blessings,

When you are able to go after your dreams and passion you can deepen your level of joy in the skill that came to you as a gift. When you excel at your gift you are given accolades. You are sought after by others. You are given money for your natural talents. That in truth you would do just to do.

You should not be upset when you are successful at believing in yourself and having the courage to go after you dreams. You did not give up when you fell down. You got back up. You helped others believe in who they are and you have encouraged them to believe in their dreams. You have been a catalyst for others. You are a trail blazer. You knew their was a pathway through the forest. You made the trail that others follow. You create reciprocity for others who have that gift.

You can notice that twinkle in their eyes from the moment that you see them. They are stars that are able to shine from the first time that you see them in their element. Igniting others passions and helping them to climb to the next level. You do this for them because you want them to succeed. The more the person practices at their gift the easier it becomes for them to do. Making it look effortless.

**************************************************************************************************************************

Comments by Kellie

Melissa’s words are very poignant and very intentional.  Part of living with joy is being intentional in all we do.  We can invest in ourselves and connect to who we are inside.

Focusing on the gifts that you’ve been given, and how you can increase someone else’s life with them is one fabulous way to glorify the creator.  So what gifts do you have that you could share with the universe?

Thanks so much for stopping by.  I would love to hear your thoughts about what gifts you have that you are ready to share with the world.  You can share them in the comment box below.  If this post resonates with you and you want to share it with your Facebook and Twitter friends, feel free to click on the buttons located at the beginning of this post.

Donald’s parents taught him to strive for anything that he wants in life and never lets anything stand in his way.  With two words he ‘pays it forward’ by encouraging people to keep going all the while telling them they are special.

“Keep Rockin” he says, and these are typical words you will see on Donald’s Facebook page.  Between his group and his personal page, Donald’s following has grown to nearly 8,000 in less than 6 months.  How?

Donald’s vision, and primary message: “Disabled or not we can rock the world!  Rock on!”

The interaction on FB inspired Donald to create wrist bands that say “People with Disabilities Rock!”  The first order was quickly sold with requests that motivated his second order.  This small tool began making a big splash among his followers.

His parents told him to never give up on his dreams and as a result he’s personally connecting to, inspiring and motivating people all around the world.

When Donald hears people say, “I’m totally limited in my ability.” he tells them what his parent’s told him, “You can do anything you set your mind to.”

Building the group connects him with everyone who joins and posts comments. Donald responds daily, encouraging people to “keep doing what you’re doing and live your life to the fullest.”

Those who post on “People with disabilities” group tell Donald that this group makes them feel “liked”, “accepted”, and that “they are not alone.”  It’s no wonder this 23-yr-old leader is building momentum!

Article Written by Linda Grace Cox

On “What’s Your VPA” radio show tonight, you’ll hear Donald share in humble amazement that, he is making an impact in somebody’s life, and to that we say, “Yes you are Donald….yes you are!”

To hear this fabulous story, and find out how easy it is to build your Facebook Followers the way Donald has, listen in this evening at 7pm EST on Motivational Radio.  Click here for details

Please comment and SHARE by tweeting and FB-ing this post.  Thank you for being part of a wonderful community of “UN-limited” people who know what it means to Live Beyond Limitations with Vision, Power and Action.   We’d love to hear from you!

I use to want my kids to know me better, so they would judge me less, this was before knowing about the twelve pillars of success.  I wrote a book for them to read ‘someday’ in case they wanted to know more about my history.  My own insecure thinking brought on those thoughts of course, but that was then.

Pillar Twelve:

Leave a Legacy: “Live a life that will help others spiritually, intellectually, physically, financially, and relationally.  Live a life that serves as an example of what an exceptional life can look like.”

How serious should one be about leaving a legacy?  What does it really mean to leave a legacy?  If you think about some of the greatest leaders in history, you’ll find Ghandi who’s legacy was peace; Martin Luther King Jr who’s legacy was about a dream of freedom for all races; Mother Theresa who’s legacy was feeding those in need, and the list goes on.

None of us can choose how long we will live but we can all choose how well we will live.  Will we be rich, poor, happy or sad, mean or loving?  It’s all a choice no matter your history.

If you’ve claimed to be a self-made millionaire, you have not blazed that trail on your own.  You have done it with the help of those who came before you.  When we follow a path of great men and women who came before us, then we are sure to leave a trail of good fruit when we’re gone.

If we can live a life that serves others than we will have left a legacy behind us that isn’t about ego, but about love and selflessness.  If we can be an example of our words, then others will know it’s possible.  It will be the credibility they need to be effective in their relationships and in their lives.

Glenn Dietzel wrote these 20 statements regarding Legacy:

1. Your Legacy always starts with insignificance.
2. As you move forward out of procrastination, you don’t have to get it perfect, you just have to build momentum.
3. Get your Legacy going NOW; movement builds momentum and permanent habits of success.
4. Feedback is the answer to all your prayers.
5. Always take focused, inspired, outcome-driven action.
6. The action you take right NOW reveals the next action.
7. You must look within for value, but must look beyond for perspective.
8. Whoever has the strongest focus wins in the market place. Split concentration is why you fail.
9. Your twin tickets to freedom: marketing and sales.
10. Greater sameness will never get you better results. Be different!
11. The road to success is defined by doing things in the order of their importance…By doing what other people do not want to do!
12. The language you use at your weakest moment is the key to driving your success forward.
13. Safety is riskier than you realize. caution shouldn’t be thrown to the wind, but without risks, life isn’t an adventure.
14. Always set goals in the context of those ahead of you – the secret to quantum leaps is to think big and do small simultaneously.
15. The closer you get to the goal line…the stronger your resolve must be. Success works on an inverse square formula.
16. You can only see what you know. And what you know must be revealed to you by another person whom you connect with at a heart level.
17. The key to moving forward rapidly is based on the quality and quantity of your pain: the pain of going back must exceed the pain of moving forward.
18. It’s not the idea but the presentation of your idea that is the key to your legacy!
19. It’s not the idea but the presentation of your idea that is the key to your legacy!
20. It’s not the idea but the presentation of your idea that is the key to your legacy!

If you wait to learn the pillars of success, you may find yourself making the same mistakes over and over and eventually asking why you waited until your life was weighed down with regret before you made a course correction.

What kind of legacy do you want to leave? If you were to die tomorrow how would you be remembered? What would you change today that would re-frame life or create a course correction for you?

A VPA Legacy

It is important for me to continue teaching  – Vision, Power, Action because it will help so many people look within themselves for joy instead of buying into the idea that the external world provides it.  My goal is to reach as many physically challenged people around the world as I can but I can’t do it alone.  Here is just one of so many reasons why it’s important for me to share.

This weekend I was sitting in a group class and there was a deaf couple that someone was translating for. The topic was about hearing whispers from God.  Now whether you choose to say Universe or another name its all the same creator or energy field in my world.

The translator raised his hand, took the mic and said, “Can deaf people hear the voice of God?”

The teacher looked puzzled.  He didn’t respond to her question but turned instead to the 300+ of us sitting in the room for help with the answer.  I listened to the quiet voice inside my heart which said ‘raise your hand.’
So I raised my hand and a mic was handed to me.  “We are all deaf to a degree.” I began.  “If not, Jesus never would have said, If only you could hear, to his own disciples.  We are no different.  The voice of God comes from inside of us, not out side of us.”   The deaf can probably hear this voice more often because they can listen internally without even trying. For those who hear we are so easily distracted by noise that the voice is drowned out.

This is why Pauline Victoria and I have decided to teach the concepts of Vision Power and Action  to the physically challenged community.  They need to know they are not alone and that people do care about them.  If you are someone who would like to get involved with Pauline and I and the incredible work that has begun just let me know.  You don’t have to be disabled, but you do have to know someone who is to really get it.

I’d like to thank the late Jim Rohn, and Chris Widener, for developing Pillars of Success and for leaving their own legacy for us to learn from in so many fabulous ways.

Please visit the links below to review the pillars you may have missed and as always I hope you enjoy tremendous success as you implement them into your life.

PILLAR ONE

PILLAR TWO

PILLAR THREE

PILLAR FOUR

PILLAR FIVE

PILLAR SIX

PILLAR SEVEN

PILLAR EIGHT

PILLAR NINE

PILLAR TEN

PILLAR ELEVEN

Would you use words like Genuine? Humble? Forgiving? Healer?

In review of Jim Rohn and Chris Widener’s book ‘Twelve Pillars‘ there are some fundamental factors that are timeless in all of leadership.  The most important one is that learning to lead yourself is a must.

Success Pillar Eleven:

The World Can Always Use One More Great Leader

Many people fear becoming a leader because they’ve known someone who is brash and arrogant, and yet still lead, so this view of leadership isn’t appealing based on the example.  What I find is that those brash leaders are the people who get the most attention, like the misbehaving child, because of the negative behavior.  I believe these people to be in the minority of great leadership, but like a child who has not yet learned to lead with wisdom and patience, they will be held accountable at one point or another.

The word I will use today for the leader I am about to highlight is “Fruitful”.

Alex Mandossian is teaching thousands of people how to create a life for themselves, doing what they love on line, with a goal of assisting them in changing their personal economy during an economic recession.  From my perspective, Alex genuinely cares about people and their well being and the fruits of his labor shows.

With all of his success, Alex no longer needs the money but he teaches what he loves because he believes in his vision, or purpose, which is to help create joy by boosting someone else’s personal economy.  There will be people who will judge his motives, and claim he is doing it out of greed or pride, but until we know how to look beyond our own limiting, and judgmental beliefs through his heart-centered teachings, that is exactly what people will think.

I was one of those people who judged Alex in the beginning.  I had my own limiting beliefs about sales, money and all sorts of judgments against people who understood it and used it to help others on a large scale rather than played small.

Alex Mandossian understands his own VPA BluPrint to Success and lives it out by example.

Like Alex, the fruits of your labor must be evident, and you must recognize the Source by which you acquire all great things.  When you learn to help others from your heart, with a proper motivation of servitude, gratitude and love, the fruits of your labor will be self evident.  The money will come as a side benefit to this choice.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”  Mark Twain

Another VPA quality to a great leader is forgiveness.  Over time great leaders learn to forgive themselves for past failures, as well as forgive others who may have hurt them.  They accept the path they are on with patience and perseverance, and within a few years in awe of the Vision, Power and Action they allowed to flow through them, they succeed.

Here is a wonderful way to think about how men and women become great in their time.

Observe the blossoms of a fruit tree that’s bearing fruit.  The blossoms fall off before the fruit pours forth.  So it is with leadership.  Part of you must die to selfish ways so your fruits can burst forth to be shared with anyone and everyone who wants it.

If this makes sense to you then you probably understand how the law of attraction works.

Others are attracted to you when you have blossomed and your fruit reveals itself.  Another way to consider this comes from scriptural writings where Jesus says,

We will recognize good people by their fruit, bad trees cannot bear good fruit, but good trees do.

So I hope you determine what your VPA is as you write down your values.  Take time to forgive, time to love and live according to your calling or Vision, your internal Power and by taking Action in tremendous ways.

Don’t forget to place your ‘one word’ for great leadership in the comment box below and I’d be delighted to know you shared this post with others through facebook or twitter.  I so appreciate you!

Please visit the links below to review the pillars you missed:

PILLAR ONE

PILLAR TWO

PILLAR THREE

PILLAR FOUR

PILLAR FIVE

PILLAR SIX

PILLAR SEVEN

PILLAR EIGHT

PILLAR NINE

PILLAR TEN

I once took a position as Assistant to the Vice President of a University and felt amazingly blessed to be there.  While having lunch with some of my co-workers one afternoon I was asked how I got the position.  Before I could answer, one of my friends piped in and said, “She does the little things very well and asks for more when she’s done, it’s just that simple!”

I was surprised, and SO thankful that she jumped in with such a wonderful response, because I was about to say “I knew the secretary to the president very well.” That was a turning point for me.  I saw how much of an impact her answer on our other co-workers and realized, she is right, I did do those things.

This is the reason I write books like Vision~Power~Action – Your Bluprint to Sustainable Success, and why Jim Rohn and Chris Widener write books like Twelve Pillars.  They change lives.

Pillar Nine:

Your Income Will Seldom Succeed Your Personal Development

I’d like to share one example of those ‘detailed things’ my friend mentioned in hopes that you’ll find a take-away from this post that is easily applicable to your own life.

There was a phone system at the university that was high tech in its day but the directions to use it were horribly challenging to read.  My co-worker in the next cubicle was an older person and I helped her to figure it out almost on a daily basis.  I didn’t mind it, but it meant stopping what I was doing each time to assist her.  I thought about how my ‘helping’ her was actually keeping her from learning on her own and I didn’t want her to be dependent on me.  I heard these words in my heart…

When you can figure out a way to teach people to fish rather than supply the fish on a long term basis you will teach them to live with greater human dignity, not just look for the handout.

I stayed after work one night to completely figure out the system so I could type up short cuts that would be much simpler for her to use, and perhaps would save us both time. When I was done I looked at what I had made and thought it was good.  I recall wondering if that is how God felt after creating the entire world.

The next day I handed the instructions to my friend who said.  ”I can’t believe you did that for me.”

She told our co-workers and eventually others began to ask for the short cuts as well.  I found myself handing them out to the 6 secretaries on that floor.  They were so impressed that it was eventually printed in the back of the university directory for the entire university and the following month and I was asked to give a workshop on the Meridian Mail system to teach the university employees. I was given a raise shortly thereafter.

This ‘system’ if you will, of giving to others has served me very well, and it will you to when you figure out that we are here to share Vision, Power and Action with one another every day of our lives.

Jim Rohn and Chris Widener wrote a simple book on understanding simple concepts and I think out of all of the pillars this is my favorite.

I made more wealthy friends in this past year than I have ever known in my entire life, and not a single one of them are wealthy for the sake of money.  They are wealthy because of what that wealth allows them to accomplish with their lives.  They realize money doesn’t make them problem free or able to live without discomfort or disease.  They realize there is no security in money and that it could disappear over night.  It didn’t take long for them to understand that money does NOT make the world go round.

My friends are influential because they did what I did in that story above, they created something out of nothing, gave it away to those who needed it for free, and eventually got paid for doing it.

What I learned from my own experience back then was that it wasn’t the raise that created the joy inside me, although it was a nice side benefit, it was the confidence it gave me to do the same thing again and again.

Read this quote from one of the most influential speakers Jim Rohn from his book “Twelve Pillars” on pg.89

“After you become a millionaire, you can give it all away because what’s important is not the million dollars; what’s important is the person you have to become in the process of becoming a millionaire.”  Jim Rohn

You don’t have to give it all away. The point he was making is that you could if you wanted to, because you know how to get it all back again.

So here it is – (drum roll please)

• Find a need
• create the solution to fill the need
• give it away for free
• and you will eventually be compensated for your efforts.

That’s it!  Does it take more than just staying after work for one night simplifying something complicated?  Sure! It might, but the key is to find the need you are to fill.  It’s important to have a vision of what you want to accomplish to fill the need of course and my VPA Radio Show may help with that every Friday evenings at 7pm EST. Just log into http://motivational-radio.com and you’ll keep your personal development growing.

Thank you for dropping by. I appreciate you so much!  Do comment and retweet if you feel this post was helpful.  If you want to read the previous Success Pillars see below.

Abundant Blessings,

PILLAR ONE

PILLAR TWO

PILLAR THREE

PILLAR FOUR

PILLAR FIVE

PILLAR SIX

PILLAR SEVEN

PILLAR EIGHT

Isn’t it true that, in general, people listen long enough to think their own thoughts then wait for the person to finish so they can interject those thoughts into the conversation?  You know you’ve done it before, or maybe still do…me to.

Its for reasons like these that personal development is so important and why books like the Twelve Pillars by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener are so important.  We all need to grow, but I didn’t always feel that way.

Success Pillar 10:
All communication brings the common ground of understanding.

The year was 2002 and Steven Covey seminars were inspiring people all across America just as they still do today.  My supervisor, Dr. Wayne Perry, Director of Physical Therapy at Andrews University, is one of those people who enjoy seeing others grow in personal development, so he hired a man named Dr. George Soper, Senior Vice President of Memorial Hospital in IN, to come to our work place and teach his staff the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

At first I was bored. Dr. Soper was great, but I was so disinterested in personal development at that time that he needed to strike a chord in order to get my attention.  When he did, I sat straight up. I listened intently as he told us stories about how the skill of listening, and the skill of understanding, impacted his life.

It was as if I were hearing new information for the very first time.  In reality I’d probably heard it many times before but not in story format, which for most is an easier way to learn.  Nor were these concepts exampled on a consistent basis by anyone I knew to fully grasp the concept for myself.

By the time he was done talking I knew I wanted to practice the art of listening, and understanding, on my oldest teenage son, whom at the time had started to rebel.  It wasn’t like him and I wanted to understand why.  Dr. Soper’s techniques seemed easy enough to try so the next day I invited my son to lunch.  After eating quickly I physically put my finger over my mouth to hold it shut, just to remind myself that I was there to listen and understand only.  I wanted to see if this really worked.

It found it extremely challenging.  I wanted to the do the parenting ‘norm’ and say things like, “You did what?!” “You said what to your teacher?!” “Well no wonder your grades are lower than they should be!” etc. etc.  My will was in a constant battle to over-rule my mind much, less my try to keep my tongue still. I was beginning to see how damaging my personal beliefs had been about parenting kids with critical words.

“No wonder this poor kid feels rebellious.  Just look at how many times you’ve wanted to correct his behavior during the last 10 minutes!” I thought.

To anyone who has ever done this I want you to know that it is NEVER TOO LATE to make changes in your behavior to turn around any relationship.

I remained with my finger over my mouth, determined to listen and to understand… and understand I did.  I saw his pain, his desire to want to do well in school, to have better relationships with his family and to live a life where he could feel happier about himself rather than be corrected every 10 minutes.

My silence worked so well that it changed my life right there.  I also worried my son greatly.

He stopped in mid sentence, as if to realize he was the only one talking. “Mom, are you okay?  You haven’t said a word the entire time. You just sat there and listened.  What’s wrong?”

I laughed out loud.  My son had no idea what was going through my mind or heart at that moment.  I wanted to throw my arms around him and dance a mini jig at him affirming what I had done, but I just smiled and told him, “I’m really good.  I really enjoyed our talk.”

I left the restaurant with several thoughts and feelings going all different directions, one of which was “I did it Dr. Soper! You were so right!”

So here are a few tips on how to be a good listener and not an interrupter:

• When you want someone to understand you – say to them – “Please tell me how you see this situation”
• When you want to be heard you say, “I’ll listen to you first, then I’d like to share how how I see it.”
  
• Get clarification – “Is this what you are saying….?”
  
• Affirm – “I think I understand you felt….?” use emotions like happy, sad, hurt, frustrated
  
• Your side of the story – “From my perspective it seemed….” gently share your perspective and feelings

These tips are extremely helpful if you can consistently apply them in your life.  Focus on them and they will expand your relationships in ways you can’t imagine and remember it’s never too late to listen or to understand.

Thank you Dr. Soper, Dr. Perry and Dr. Covey for teaching me how to be a more highly effective parent and person.  I continue to teach the skills I’ve learned from you and if you ever want me to speak to your students about seeing their purpose or Vision, accepting the Power they have within them to accomplish it, and to take action on what they learn, let me know. 

Thank you for reading this article.  I appreciate you so much!  Please leave a comment below if you can relate to this post, and retweet if you found it helpful in any way.  Previous pillars are listed here:

PILLAR ONE

PILLAR TWO

PILLAR THREE

PILLAR FOUR

PILLAR FIVE

PILLAR SIX

PILLAR SEVEN

PILLAR EIGHT

PILLAR NINE

Abundant Blessings,