When Your Income Remains The Same – What to Do to Increase It – Success Pillar Nine
For years I wondered why I made more money, and had more promotions, than many of my co-workers and associates. I did not believe this was not an arrogant thought, it was just a very curious thing to me that made me wonder. I knew I wasn’t smarter, friendlier, more efficient or more talented than they were, I simply wondered how did it happen?
I once took a position as Assistant to the Vice President of a University and felt amazingly blessed to be there. While having lunch with some of my co-workers one afternoon I was asked how I got the position. Before I could answer, one of my friends piped in and said, “She does the little things very well and asks for more when she’s done, it’s just that simple!”
I was surprised, and SO thankful that she jumped in with such a wonderful response, because I was about to say “I knew the secretary to the president very well.” That was a turning point for me. I saw how much of an impact her answer on our other co-workers and realized, she is right, I did do those things.
This is the reason I write books like Vision~Power~Action – Your Bluprint to Sustainable Success, and why Jim Rohn and Chris Widener write books like Twelve Pillars. They change lives.
Pillar Nine:
Your Income Will Seldom Succeed Your Personal Development
I’d like to share one example of those ‘detailed things’ my friend mentioned in hopes that you’ll find a take-away from this post that is easily applicable to your own life.
There was a phone system at the university that was high tech in its day but the directions to use it were horribly challenging to read. My co-worker in the next cubicle was an older person and I helped her to figure it out almost on a daily basis. I didn’t mind it, but it meant stopping what I was doing each time to assist her. I thought about how my ‘helping’ her was actually keeping her from learning on her own and I didn’t want her to be dependent on me. I heard these words in my heart…
When you can figure out a way to teach people to fish rather than supply the fish on a long term basis you will teach them to live with greater human dignity, not just look for the handout.
I stayed after work one night to completely figure out the system so I could type up short cuts that would be much simpler for her to use, and perhaps would save us both time. When I was done I looked at what I had made and thought it was good. I recall wondering if that is how God felt after creating the entire world.
The next day I handed the instructions to my friend who said. ”I can’t believe you did that for me.”
She told our co-workers and eventually others began to ask for the short cuts as well. I found myself handing them out to the 6 secretaries on that floor. They were so impressed that it was eventually printed in the back of the university directory for the entire university and the following month and I was asked to give a workshop on the Meridian Mail system to teach the university employees. I was given a raise shortly thereafter.
This ‘system’ if you will, of giving to others has served me very well, and it will you to when you figure out that we are here to share Vision, Power and Action with one another every day of our lives.
Jim Rohn and Chris Widener wrote a simple book on understanding simple concepts and I think out of all of the pillars this is my favorite.
I made more wealthy friends in this past year than I have ever known in my entire life, and not a single one of them are wealthy for the sake of money. They are wealthy because of what that wealth allows them to accomplish with their lives. They realize money doesn’t make them problem free or able to live without discomfort or disease. They realize there is no security in money and that it could disappear over night. It didn’t take long for them to understand that money does NOT make the world go round.
My friends are influential because they did what I did in that story above, they created something out of nothing, gave it away to those who needed it for free, and eventually got paid for doing it.
What I learned from my own experience back then was that it wasn’t the raise that created the joy inside me, although it was a nice side benefit, it was the confidence it gave me to do the same thing again and again.
Read this quote from one of the most influential speakers Jim Rohn from his book “Twelve Pillars” on pg.89
“After you become a millionaire, you can give it all away because what’s important is not the million dollars; what’s important is the person you have to become in the process of becoming a millionaire.” Jim Rohn
You don’t have to give it all away. The point he was making is that you could if you wanted to, because you know how to get it all back again.
So here it is – (drum roll please)
- Find a need
- create the solution to fill the need
- give it away for free
- and you will eventually be compensated for your efforts.
That’s it! Does it take more than just staying after work for one night simplifying something complicated? Sure! It might, but the key is to find the need you are to fill. It’s important to have a vision of what you want to accomplish to fill the need of course and my VPA Radio Show may help with that every Friday evenings at 7pm EST. Just log into http://motivational-radio.com and you’ll keep your personal development growing.
Thank you for dropping by. I appreciate you so much! Do comment and retweet if you feel this post was helpful. If you want to read the previous Success Pillars see below.
Abundant Blessings,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Good Communication Helps You Influence Others Through Listening – Success Pillar Ten
We all know good communication is a vital part of life if we want to get along with our mates, our partners, our children, our boss or employees… but how many of us do it really well?
Isn’t it true that, in general, people listen long enough to think their own thoughts then wait for the person to finish so they can interject those thoughts into the conversation? You know you’ve done it before, or maybe still do…me to.
Its for reasons like these that personal development is so important and why books like the Twelve Pillars by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener are so important. We all need to grow, but I didn’t always feel that way.
Success Pillar 10:
All communication brings the common ground of understanding.
The year was 2002 and Steven Covey seminars were inspiring people all across America just as they still do today. My supervisor, Dr. Wayne Perry, Director of Physical Therapy at Andrews University, is one of those people who enjoy seeing others grow in personal development, so he hired a man named Dr. George Soper, Senior Vice President of Memorial Hospital in IN, to come to our work place and teach his staff the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
At first I was bored. Dr. Soper was great, but I was so disinterested in personal development at that time that he needed to strike a chord in order to get my attention. When he did, I sat straight up. I listened intently as he told us stories about how the skill of listening, and the skill of understanding, impacted his life.
It was as if I were hearing new information for the very first time. In reality I’d probably heard it many times before but not in story format, which for most is an easier way to learn. Nor were these concepts exampled on a consistent basis by anyone I knew to fully grasp the concept for myself.
By the time he was done talking I knew I wanted to practice the art of listening, and understanding, on my oldest teenage son, whom at the time had started to rebel. It wasn’t like him and I wanted to understand why. Dr. Soper’s techniques seemed easy enough to try so the next day I invited my son to lunch. After eating quickly I physically put my finger over my mouth to hold it shut, just to remind myself that I was there to listen and understand only. I wanted to see if this really worked.
It found it extremely challenging. I wanted to the do the parenting ‘norm’ and say things like, “You did what?!” “You said what to your teacher?!” “Well no wonder your grades are lower than they should be!” etc. etc. My will was in a constant battle to over-rule my mind much, less my try to keep my tongue still. I was beginning to see how damaging my personal beliefs had been about parenting kids with critical words.
“No wonder this poor kid feels rebellious. Just look at how many times you’ve wanted to correct his behavior during the last 10 minutes!” I thought.
To anyone who has ever done this I want you to know that it is NEVER TOO LATE to make changes in your behavior to turn around any relationship.
I remained with my finger over my mouth, determined to listen and to understand… and understand I did. I saw his pain, his desire to want to do well in school, to have better relationships with his family and to live a life where he could feel happier about himself rather than be corrected every 10 minutes.
My silence worked so well that it changed my life right there. I also worried my son greatly.
He stopped in mid sentence, as if to realize he was the only one talking. “Mom, are you okay? You haven’t said a word the entire time. You just sat there and listened. What’s wrong?”
I laughed out loud. My son had no idea what was going through my mind or heart at that moment. I wanted to throw my arms around him and dance a mini jig at him affirming what I had done, but I just smiled and told him, “I’m really good. I really enjoyed our talk.”
I left the restaurant with several thoughts and feelings going all different directions, one of which was “I did it Dr. Soper! You were so right!”
So here are a few tips on how to be a good listener and not an interrupter:
- When you want someone to understand you – say to them – “Please tell me how you see this situation”
- When you want to be heard you say, “I’ll listen to you first, then I’d like to share how how I see it.”
- Get clarification – “Is this what you are saying….?”
- Affirm – “I think I understand you felt….?” use emotions like happy, sad, hurt, frustrated
- Your side of the story – “From my perspective it seemed….” gently share your perspective and feelings
These tips are extremely helpful if you can consistently apply them in your life. Focus on them and they will expand your relationships in ways you can’t imagine and remember it’s never too late to listen or to understand.
Thank you Dr. Soper, Dr. Perry and Dr. Covey for teaching me how to be a more highly effective parent and person. I continue to teach the skills I’ve learned from you and if you ever want me to speak to your students about seeing their purpose or Vision, accepting the Power they have within them to accomplish it, and to take action on what they learn, let me know. 
Thank you for reading this article. I appreciate you so much! Please leave a comment below if you can relate to this post, and retweet if you found it helpful in any way. Previous pillars are listed here:
Abundant Blessings,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
The Secret Power of Sales is the Heart Connection of Life – Success Pillar Eight
Talking to an expert in sales was not my “thing”. In fact, if someone tried to sell me on a product before establishing a relationship of some kind my ears would close off automatically, as if it were a preconditioned response. Well…perhaps it was preconditioned.
I’ve come to understand that unless a person speaks from their heart about themselves and/or the ‘why’ behind what they are selling, they may know little about increasing the lives of others with intention. All too often we’re so busy trying to make a living selling a product that we forget to ask whether it will bring increase into the person’s life or not.
Pillar Eight:
All Life Is Sales – The Power of Persuasion & Influence is talent and virtue
In the Twelve Pillars, written by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener, they refer to Sales as being ‘all of life’.
Sales is influence, nothing more, nothing less. Rohn and Widener say that in order to influence others you must become a person of talent and virtue.
So how do you do that?
Lets first understand that talents are your gifts and virtue is your character.
The definition for Talent is; special natural ability or aptitude: as in a talent for drawing as an example.
The definition of Virtue is; moral excellence; goodness; righteousness, moral and ethical principles: as in choosing high integrity for instance
As we grow – we hone our skills, we create more opportunities for ourselves by sharing what we learn, but amidst all of it – others look to us for guidance or recommendations. This is the power of influence.
You were born to influence!
Have you ever noticed how much influence we have over our parents as babies? When we want something that we can’t have we cry and throw a fit until someone gives in. Our parents have options of course, and if they are wise they will resist the temptation, or simply reason out that whatever it is we are asking for would bring increase into our lives.
The dramatic exchange of sales in our infant years is what teaches us the power of influence; crying loudly, or long enough, that mom and dad eventually give in. Little Johnny wants a new bike. Sold. Teenage boy meets teenage girl and wants to take her to the prom. Sold. Going to college and needs a new car. (cha-ching!) Sold.
Wouldn’t you agree that we are born to influence one another right from the beginning of time? How you use that influence will determine your success. Will you decide to work harder on yourself than you do on your job? Will you work on your skills and character long enough to find out where they can take you or will you allow the fear of success to drown out those thoughts?
Take the 30 second VPA quiz
If you were flying in a hot air balloon looking down at yourself, what do you see yourself doing? Who would you be connecting to? Who are you influencing?
This quiz can give you a vision of what you may be called to do, or what you might want to be doing with your life, and wouldn’t now be a GREAT time to see it? I’ll leave you with this thought:
- V = clear VISION of what you are called to do or desire to do most in life – no one else can tell you what that is
- P = the POWER to believe God has already provided you with the strength you need to accomplish it – imagine the possibilities
- A = with inspiration to take ACTION you can do it one step at a time – no matter how big or small – you can accomplish
Education is vital to your success in every day life but truly it’s all in the heart connections of your VPA (Vision~Power~Action) that can move you forward in business, in relationships and in life. If you want to hear more on how you can understand this message read here. If you have time to read more of the precious 7 pillars they are listed below, and as always, I invite you to comment and share if this post serves you. When you share it this might also serve others. Abundant Blessings my friend.
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
What’s Your VPA? 3 Key Components to Turn Dreams Into Reality
Welcome! I’m pretty sure you clicked on this link to find out what in the world a VPA is. Well I’m glad you did.
Years ago I worked for a VP of a college who actually evaluated my work performance based on this:
“If you were flying in a hot air balloon above the ground – looking down at yourself – what do you see yourself doing? Who are you connecting with?”
I thought he was joking but he wasn’t. He wanted me to decide what my goals were, what I wanted to do with my life, and my ‘why’ behind doing it, then to submit an essay to him.
THAT was my evaluation? I left the office that night speechless, but feeling relieved knowing I had two weeks to come up with something.
For 2 weeks I tried to write something down and came up with nothing. The night before my evaluation – I couldn’t sleep.
As I reflect on it now I get a good belly laugh out if it. I recall seeing him in my mind and I’m thinking, “Why are you punishing me like this?!” As if I were a 5-yr-old little girl. It occurred to me at that moment that I had no goals in life. I had no idea of what my purpose was and it was startling to see my own reaction and how I had been handling it.
I sat in my stairwell looking up at the vaulted ceilings and thought backwards rather than forwards. The only thing that came to mind was at a very young age I sat in front of my parents television watching ‘Feed the Children’ and I wanted to go feed them.
It seemed to me that was a desire that had never quite left me.
So this is what I wrote down for my employee evaluation:
“I want to feed children that are starving. I see myself in an open field with many little orphan children and I’m playing and laughing with them to celebrate their full bellies.”
I somehow turned it into a poem and felt utterly ridiculous handing it to him the next day. I watched for his reaction, but he simply read it, looked up, and then quietly said, “Is this really what you want to do?”
“Yes.” I said confidently. “I know it isn’t much of a goal, but I never realized I didn’t have any goals until you made me do this exercise. Now that I know, I believe I can do something about it.”
Here is the amazing part – A few months later I was on a plane heading to Honduras to feed, laugh and play with 64 orphaned children! My wonderful husband, Jon, made that trip possible for me but in writing that goal down it helped me to see it before it ever came into existence. I saw how important that was and is for my life.
That’s what started me on a journey of getting real with myself, and with God, over a decade ago. I sought out mentors that were both head and heart connected to learn from and here is what I discovered one needs to have to turn dreams into reality:
- V = clear VISION of what you most desire
- P = a belief to know that God has already provided you with strength and when you tap into that POWER – imagine the possibilities
- A = with inspiration to take ACTION you can do it one step at a time – no matter how big or small – you can accomplish anything
Many People Ask Me How I’ve Managed to Do What I’ve Done…and I Say, “One small step at a time, and with great big faith, I find victory”
In the early part of 2007, I lost 2 family members in two separate tragedies just months apart. Through the emotional turmoil and travel across country to assist family, I chose to close the doors to my successful investing company and wondered what to do with my life.
As the year came to an end, life began to feel ‘normal’ again, until I took a bad fall on black ice and landed directly on my head; injuring my brain and neck.
Seizures controlled my life for the next several months, pain and neurological problems were my closest enemies. Although my wonderful family, and a few employees, were there to help me I consistently felt very alone. I knew I needed courage and a belief that I was not alone no matter how I felt.
There is Always Hope
From that point on, whenever I spoke or took action I fully believed my intentions were like a prayer of gratitude, which played the largest role as to whether or not my life was aligned to my beliefs. Whenever I exercised, I chose to listen to successful people like Alex Mandossian on the MP3 player; on trips I listened to CD’s of Jim Rohn and Les Brown; and when I was home I read as many biographies as I could get my hands on to keep the neurotransmitters in my brain connecting and thinking success. I also spent quiet moments, many times a day, reflecting on my direction and listening to that still small voice we all have inside. This enabled me to connect to others in a much deeper way and still does today.
Lets Use Social Media to Help Me, Help You!
As a speaker and a coach, I meet and train people every year who are on fire for change, and yet, when the engagement or training is over I am not always sure if participants implement what they learn in order to keep moving forward in their lives, which makes follow up extremely important. Learning something new and applying it to your life are two very different things. While many people tell me that their lives and fortunes have changed because of what they’ve learned, it’s the one’s I don’t hear from that make me wonder.
This is the reason why I wrote my recent book, “What’s your VPA Wealth Connection?” that will become a best seller with your help in sharing it. It’s a coaching program that you can do from home, or at my seminars which are very edutaining as I call it. Educational and entertaining at the same time.
With the development of Facebook, I now have a place where I can keep in contact with people from every walk of life and they come together to interact with me and each other. Such a powerful way to continue learning just by chatting with me and each other on Facebook, or by doing organized events like my Random Topic Events.
We pick a topic surrounding creating a dream or Vision for your life, having the internal Power in place to move forward and how important it is to take Action. I also look for guests who want to put up tips each week so if you want to do that let me know. As always, I look forward to supporting you and reading your “real life” experiences.
I hope that you will participate by joining my fan page so we can meet at the designated times. I also encourage you to type in your questions on the welcome page for our radio show so we can answer some of your questions during the show.
Remember I will be doing Live Facebook Chat’s each month so be sure to remember: The more you share and give, the more you receive.
If you’d like a jump start on learning to connect on an emotional level then definitely consider getting your own free copy of “Connecting Secrets Package” (look under the video to the right on this page). We want to help you get in alignment with your own V.P.A. and stay connected through facebook to keep you moving forward!
Abundant Blessings,
PS…..We’ll let you know when we’ll be live on Motivational Radio very soon and believe me, you won’t want to miss the incredible people I have the privilege to interview so they can share their knowledge of V.P.A. with you.
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
5 Important Choices You Can Make to Be a Life Long Learner – Success Pillar Seven
It has been my choice lately that when someone says, “Hi How are you?”, that I respond to it with, “I’m in a constant state of victory thank you!”
This will literally stop people in their tracks. They usually look at me and say, “Wow! Really?”
I’m not certain that other cultures do this type of platitudinal exchange; “Hi, how you?” “Fine, how are you?” “Fine.” and yet neither party sincerely cares what the answer is they just go about their day.
I’m not sure that “platitudinal” is an actual word either. Platitude means ‘common place’ so I embellished it to fit. One can do that as a life long learner. I’m certainly not the wordsmith Denis Waitley is as you can see from this wonderful description below.
Pillar 7: Be a Life Long Learner
“You’ve got the vicious cycle or the victor’s circle. Let’s get out of the vicious cycle. We imagine ourselves to be successful. We preplay it by simulation. We rehearse; we drill; we practice; we perform. Sometimes, we perform well. We feedback with reinforcement. Sometimes we do poorly–more input needed–always to the imagined desired result, always to the outcome we want, never punishing ourselves in the downward spiral. Winners imagine through goals, simulate through rehearsal, perform and then feed back.”
–Denis Waitley, excerpted from the 2004 Event, DVD 2 and/or CD 4, Track 7
So here is what I’d like to briefly share on this pillar that Jim Rohn and Chris Widener wrote about in their book Twelve Pillars:
- If you choose to be a life long learner then accept with that choice both victory and defeat. They are both inevitable.
- Feedback in business is vital to our growth or we stay right where we are. You can handle it – and if you can share enthusiasm with your team they can handle it too. As a team you can decide whether or not you want to use what was suggested and let go of the rest.
- Let go of personal criticism and judgment. It is not easy but it is vital to your success. Turn off the noise in your head. Learning comes more quickly from the stillness of life than from the noise in your mind.
- Imagine your goals, go through the rehearsal of what you want to see happen in your life, and then go out and do it. When there is a vision of where you are going, you can find the internal power that motivates you toward action. It’s the nature of our own choosing.
- If you need more inspiration then seek it until you find it. If you need more money then use your creative imagination to increase the lives of others and you will find that to.
When you make the choice to be a life long learner then the only real limit to your success, in truth, is you.
Do you remember when other kids would put the letter “L” to their forehead and shout, “LOSER!” and it would hurt your feelings? Well for us, whenever we do something dumb around here we put the letter “L” to our heads and shout “LEARNER!”
Learning to connect emotionally to your V.P.A. can bring you wealth of multiple kinds so stay tuned for more pillars of success, and if you didn’t read the previous one’s they are linked below.
I am always open to feedback! I would love to hear what you think of these success pillars so far and whether or not you have implemented them, or if they were helpful. Please comment and share below and thank you for taking time to do so in advance. It shows your desire to be a life long learner.
Abundant Blessings,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
How to Surround Yourself with People Who Understand Vision~Power~Action – Pillar Six
Today’s Pillar is very important to understand.
Pillar Six – Surround yourself with people who exhibit and live consistent to the values and skills you want to acquire and develop.
Perhaps you feel its hard to find others who believe the same way you do? I understand, but it’s really not as hard as you might think.
While my husband and I raised our son’s years back we did most of it unconsciously just like our parents did. We allowed our boys to watch an abundance of television, hang out with the neighborhood kids, drag them to church, not really contributing to the lives of others (unless we made them volunteer somewhere).
We believed as our parents did that we were doing well in our parenting methods as long as our kids weren’t breaking the law or offending people. I often wonder what percentage of parents believe that to be true as well.
When each of our sons turned 18 within a few years of each other, I noticed that it wasn’t what we taught them that hurt them, but what we didn’t teach them that hurt them the most.
For example, we didn’t teach them;
- how to have a clear vision for their lives
- how to remain positive or to have self control over their own thoughts
- how to invest in themselves
- how to control their finances; like setting up different accounts for necessities, giving, saving, long term spending and financial freedom accounts. We did however teach them to use a check book and a credit card like most parents do.
- how to surround themselves with people who are encourager’s and visionaries
- how to be people of action who could be go-givers
- we didn’t teach them to understand their own internal power or know how to use it
Don’t get me wrong, I cherish my sons who are very intelligent, loving, hard working, married to wonderful women and they are doing extremely well considering. We (and they) understand that we did the best we could with what we had at the time so this isn’t about beating myself up.
I know too that they will learn as I have, and as you have over the years, through their experiences and grow from them. Or they might choose not to grow from them, but either way it is their choice.
I’ll never forget lying in bed staring up at the ceiling saying to my husband, “Jon, we didn’t teach the boys how to live, we taught them how to survive.”
He replied, “Yeah, and what’s wrong with that?”
Jon was very good at surviving and very proud of it. We were both use to surviving and although I once admired him for his great survival mentality and instincts, I saw at that moment how limiting it really was.
I said, “Nothing if that is all you want to do, but I think we are meant to do more than just survive in life.”
As he fell asleep, I quietly made a choice to find out how to be a better example, have better relationships, be a better person for the sake of our little girl who was then six, and for my own sake.
Jim Rohn and Chris Widener talked about Pillar Six being vital to your health and well-being, but without seeing the truth in that statement you may never understand how important it is. Here are a few questions they suggested to ask yourself:
- Who am I around?
- What kind of effect are they having on me or my life?
- What do I read when I’m around them?
- What do I watch when I’m around them?
- What do I listen to when I am around them.
What I began to learn was that God gave us nature in all it’s grandeur and there was such awesome nobility in it to learn from. If we took enough time to watch it there are enough lessons in it to consume our every waking moment. I knew also that true nobility is not about being a better man than others, but about being a better man than you use to be and when you discover each moment of this new life you feel something shift. Something awakens inside of you that cannot be explained but you want to share it.
Associating with people now, right where you are, who can uplift you and encourage you to be a better man or woman than you use to be is VITAL to our very nature.
It isn’t going to help your today or tomorrow if you hang out with people who are ‘surviving’ and do you know why? You will not be challenged to be a better person, to grow in character and strength. Fortunately for me, my husband saw that changes were needed over time and wanted to find those changes for himself as well.
That’s what it means to increase the life of another human being. To learn how and to give back, and to teach others to do the same. If you want to have vision, to understand your internal power and learn to take incredible action in peace, then you may have to start finding other friends to learn and grow with and spend more time listening to your internal silence. Especially while you’re in nature.
Don’t like being challenged in this way? I can relate… but it is what it will make of you to do so that you can look forward to.
Elizabeth Ross said, “If you shield the mountain from the windstorms you will never see the carvings of your life.”
No matter what you go through be grateful for it as it adds to the beauty of your life, and remember to share it with others. Associate with those whom you’d want to share you pain and joy with AND who can challenge you to grow beyond it.
I appreciate you so much. To thank you for visiting my page I would like to send you a free gift of Connecting Secrets up in the right-hand corner. Just watch the video and it will explain. As always feel free to re-tweet and comment below and if you missed any of the previous pillars but you’d like to catch up here they are:
Abundant Blessings,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
13 Time Managment Tips for Your VPA – Vision~Power~Action – Pillar Five
Does sitting at the beach, sipping a virgin Pena Colada sound like something you’d like to be doing right now? It’s relaxing, peaceful, and totally what any one of us could use, particularly after a hectic week.
Often, those ‘hectic’ weeks come because of our lack of understanding time and discipline.
One of the greatest understandings you can have about managing time is that you can’t manage it. Each of us have the same amount of hours today as we will have tomorrow. The key is managing yourself during those 24 hours.
Do you want to Create Vision, Reveal Power and Inspire Action in your life? Then you’ll want to read:
The Proper Use of Time – Pillar Four
Jim Rohn is one of my all-star mentors. He once said, “Don’t start the day until you have it finished. Don’t start the week until you have it finished.” He also said, “You wouldn’t start to build the house unless you have a plan would you? Then don’t start the month until you have it finished and don’t start the year until you have that finished too. Save room for unexpected challenges but if you wake up in the morning saying, ‘what am I to do today?’ well then it’s too late!”
In the book “Twelve Pillars” by Jim and his friend Chris Widener, Jim spoke about suffering from one of two pains: “…the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” No truer words were ever spoken for my own life.
I once took a Johnson Taylor Temperament Assessment (or TJTA as it is commonly known) and it revealed an interesting assessment. I scored in the 99th percentile on being self-disciplined and I was shocked. I thought that they either had someone else’s results mixed up with mine, or I must have cheated on the test. Neither was true, but it seemed to me that I would know if I were a self-disciplined person or not – right? So in my attempt to prove the test inaccurate I walked through that day in my own mind.
“Lets see…
- woke up and had prayer time
- showered, dressed, made the family breakfast and lunch
- got kids to school and myself to work
- got home, cooked, cleaned, bath youngest and put her to bed
- spent 1 hour with husband
- went to bed
A normal day just like any other. Oh wow, what did I just say?”
It was true. It was just like any other day and I did it so well I could do it over again in my sleep. “Oh my, being disciplined isn’t bad,” I thought, “but being so robotic that my days go by without so much as knowing whether or not I enjoyed it, or impacted anyone else by my being here is!”
I knew something had to change but I didn’t know what or how I was to change it. It took another year or better before figuring that out.
May I share some of the insights I’ve learned along the way that have helped me create my Vision~Power~Action Plan?
Before I share them I’d like to remove an elephant that might still be in the room.
Mr. Denis Waitley once said, “Stop watching television in prime time and start ‘living’ in prime time.”
Prime time is between 7 pm and 11 pm at night when most of the world watches television. If you really want to ‘live‘ then Waitley suggests you write in prime time, talk with your children in prime time, go to an ethnic restaurant in prime time, spend quiet moments with your partner in prime time and I couldn’t agree more.
You may be saying, “Prime time is when our family usually sits down and watches our favorite programs and unwinds from the day.”
Okay, then here is something else to consider. If you watch television for 5 hours a night it could be costing you around $40,000 a year to watch it and it could also be costing your life according to the Wall Street Journal.
Think about this…
Years ago the Wall Street Journal did a study on television viewing in America. The study indicated that once someone gets into the millionaire status the average person watches only 5 hours a week and most of it is pre-recorded. In the homes of lower to middle class socioeconomic status it is viewed, on average, 7 hours and 15 minutes a day.
Another interesting fact is that in the homes of the wealthy the television is in a separate TV room altogether so you have to intentionally go to that room to watch it. In the homes of poor people the only place they can afford to have it is right in the center of the home where everyone is. Further more its on most of the time whether people are watching it or not.
If you add up all the time you put into watching television you may want to consider how much it equals in 1 year. If you take 50 weeks times 20 hours that equals 1,000 hours. If you divide that by 40 you’ve given away 25 or 26 work weeks which is a half a year.
So there is the elephant and I’ll climb off my soap box now.
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To be more self-disciplined would mean you could get yourself out of debt and get into a great relationship, become a writer, a wrestler, a foreign exchange student or whatever your dream is. The idea here is to just pick one and start positive changes for your life today. The only way to master something is to do it repetitively until it becomes a habit.
Here is where I give you some “How’s”
Take a few moments to read what some of the greats, such as Brian Tracy, Donna Krech, Jim Rohn, Chris Widener, and a host of other well-disciplined people indicated would be valuable traits to help you manage your time more effectively.
- Get your high priority items done first, without moving on to the next one, until you have the first one done.
- The key to high performance is to set the priority the day before. If you ask which task would be the one before you get called away then that is the one you need to do now.
- Never handle the items in your inbox more than once. Touch that email only one time. Drag it to a folder for later action, reply to it or delete it but touch it only once.
- Make appointments for yourself. Set aside appointments for time alone, or time with family and friends.
- Know your energy levels and get your high priorities done when your energy levels are high.
- Make a list of how much time each task is going to take you. If you see 18 to 20 hours on your list then you need to move something to another list for the next day because that is too many hours.
- Do some type of workout. When you have a specific time each day that you work out you will keep your appointments and be more clear headed. Bring your CD player while you are exercising and combine different things.
- Delegate your work and recognize what only you need to do.
- Learn to say No. (I’m going to write a post on this topic very soon!)
- Control technology, turn off the cell phone when needed
- Use templates whenever possible
- Every item on your desk will attract your attention if it is not cleared off before you sit down to work
- Develop systems to automate your work
These are all great ideas about how to use your time more effectively, but there is one that I try to always begin with each day and that is Prayer. Get in touch with the most important decisions you make so you are not distracted toward the trivial matters. To do this you have to listen to that inner voice that can be your GPS for total success!
Thank you for dropping by and if you enjoyed this post please comment and share! You’ll find the helpful retweet button at the top and the comment box at the bottom. My next post won’t be this long and I’ll try to combine two pillars into one whenever I can, but if you missed the past four and want to catch up you can find them here—-> PILLAR ONE – PILLAR TWO – PILLAR THREE PILLAR FOUR
Abundant Blessings!
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Success Pillar Number Two: Total Health for All Leaders Who Know How to Connect
It isn’t often that someone can say they have total health in all 3-dimensions of mind, body and spirit, as Jim Rohn and Chris Widener describe in their book the Twelve Pillars. 
At the time of this writing, I feel extremely blessed to say I have exactly that in all areas of my life. This is not to boast in any way, it is to merely give gratitude to God for helping me see how important it is to successfully connect all 3 dimensions internally so you can handle external success.
~Success Pillar Number Two~
Total Health
If you haven’t read Success Pillar Number One you may want to go back and read it here. It’s an easy and quick read for you–> Pillar One
May I tell you a story before we begin with this Pillar?
When I first began my journey into the entrepreneurial world my health was horrible, my mind was terrible and my spiritual life was moving quickly toward the toilet. You may know the story by now, but just a very quick recap:
- Months and months of brain seizures caused by a brain injury
- Couldn’t carry an adult conversation without talking backwards or stuttering while trying to speak
- I felt complete discouragement, completely empty
I could often sense the onset of a seizure, which was a blessing because it enabled me to alert someone to explain what to do until it was over. Sometimes it lasted minutes, and other times it felt like hours, but regardless of how long they lasted it often took days for me to recover.
Any one who knows me can tell you I enjoy life with lots of energy but when I was completely spent in all 3 dimensions, I’d sleep for hours afterward.
Although healing was happening slowly over time, it wasn’t fast enough for me in my weakened state.
I went to bed one night and angrily said to God,
“Enough is enough! If something doesn’t change soon then I don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning!”
Now in my heart I wasn’t willing to give up, nor was I having suicidal thoughts, its just that I was utterly exhausted from living with such a terrible mind, body and spirit.
What I find interesting is that like many people who get to the bottom before they change, I had to have a spiritual experience in order to live joy-filled again.
The next morning I awoke and the sun was shining so brightly through the window it was almost blinding. When I sat up in bed I did it slowly as I normally would, trying to avoid the severity of pain, but there was no pain. “Am I dreaming?”
The pain (which was in all 3 dimensions) had become my best friend over those 6 months. I moved my neck and head around to be sure. YUP! It was quite real. I felt nothing, no pain whatsoever for the first time in 6 months. As I write these words I have goose bumps recalling that experience and the awesome feeling of new life, new spirit and even a new body come back to me. It was a complete head/heart, 3-dimensional connection.
As I write this I’m also realizing it truly could have gone the other way, I could be permanently asleep right now. Hmmm…I’m glad I woke up so I could share my life and these life changing principles with you.
From there I began studying whatever I could get my hands on with a thirst that was unquenchable. I learned from Jesus, Mother Theresa, Jim Rohn, Chris Widener, Denis Waitly, Alex Mandossian and many more. I educated myself and prayed so much that I neglected my physical health for many months.
Once I started going to the YMCA I was able to get my physical body in order but it took a long time.
Can someone please tell me why it only takes 1 single week to get out of shape but 3 months to get back into it?
~Patience is a virtue my grandma always said~
now I realize that it also equals trust.
Back to Pillar Two…Total Health
1. YOUR SPIRIT: If you look for health within your spirit, your mind and body can handle whatever is thrown at it, like wearing a suit of armor. This is the reason I put spirit first.
Remark: Jim Rohn made a statement that if a person gets so spiritual that they are no earthly good then what sense will that make? I couldn’t agree more. Don’t preach to me, just show me and I’ll want to follow you.
2. YOUR MIND: My car, my kitchen, walking the dog, running on the treadmill, going on road trips, these are all examples of where I take my personal university courses daily. You don’t necessarily need to buy products to get started, just google what you are looking for and read articles like this one to set you on a path.
Eventually you’ll want to learn from a mentor who has the experience and wisdom you deserve to acquire, in whatever field you want to be in, so I strongly encourage you to get involved with their products or seminars to learn and network with other like-minded people.
Remark: Someone recently thought I’d have at least one PhD in the Social Science field. Sorry! I never went to college, but I did work at one for many years in the Vice President’s and the President’s office as their assistant. Does that count?
Truth be told my sense of self worth was so low from being called “stupid idiot” as a kid that I never felt worthy of going to college. I was swallowed up by self pity and that ugly victim-ish mentality for years.
I’m very happy to report that I am perfectly happy creating a wonderful successful life learning from so many wonderful people without degrees themselves. Their character and actions represented in me are my degrees.
3. YOUR BODY: Love the YMCA! I recommend it to anyone but if you can’t pay the monthly fee then walk or run for at least 20 mins a day and lift books or bottles of water while at your desk. Getting in to shape takes hard work and dedication but its SO worth it.
Remark: If you work out so much that your muscles are bulging – but your head is empty – you’ll get plenty of looks from a distance that make you feel good for the moment. You might even find a partner for a time, but will you be able to have self worth enough to carry on conversations that are intelligent? Your self worth is just as important to someone else as your good looks and big muscles. Exercise to keep a healthy body in moderation.
If you look for balance you may not find it, so choose to look for total health instead by starting a little bit in all three areas. Most people focus on one only and neglect the rest. It’s okay to skip one now and then but if you work on growing all 3 in your garden, just imagine the bountiful harvest you’ll see a few months down the road.
One more thought: Celebrate every small victory along the way.
As always, I would love to know your thoughts in the comment box below, and going one step further to learn it, live it and share it with others in your life.
Feel free to share this link on facebook and twitter as well! Thank you and
Abundant Blessings,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Two Kinds of Leaders; The Honorable Ones and The Dishonorable Ones – Which Do You Want To Be?
I was 6 years old when we stood outside in our driveway, I remember breathing in the frigid air, waiting for the school bus to arrive. I wanted to get to my second grade classroom early so I could thank the janitor privately for the mittens I proudly displayed on my hands that morning. He was usually at the janitors closet next to our classroom when we got to class.
While holding my hands out in front of me I gazed at the white snowflake design in the middle of them, then I had this thought;
“There must be two kinds of people in the world, ones who are loving and ones who are not loving.”
I also remember wondering if I was in the loving group, but knowing for sure the janitor must be. I pictured him laying those beautiful handmade mittens on my desk after school, knowing I needed them.
I had seen both the loving and unloving exampled to rationalize a concept like this at age Seven. I went back to this moment in time because I woke up today with a similar thought after spending time researching the meaning of honor for my latest book.
If you think about it, most of today’s children have been witness to abuse of one form or another (spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, sexual) if they watch any television or sit at the computer for any length of time. Are you aware that our kids will likely see angry people (cartoons included) at least 10 times per hour, profanity more than 20 times per hour and people discussing or committing immoral acts at least 5 times per hour depending on what program or station they are watching?
We often rationalize the exposure our kids get by saying “they’re too young to understand it”, or ”it’s just cartoons”, or “it’s not real its just Hollywood”. I know I’ve even said these things when my own kids were little.
How many parents have given children televisions in their bedrooms and have no thought as to what is influencing their kids? I didn’t do that but I might just as well have with how often it was on during my unconscious parenting days.
I wanted to share a specific quote in my book by Victor Frankl, so I googled it to be sure it was accurate. Although I could not locate the direct citation for this particular thought, I know that Frankl believed that there are only two races. He described them as “Decent” men and “Indecent” men.
During my search I found the following short story in Wikipedia and felt so moved by it that I wanted to share it with you in hopes that it makes you ask 2 questions of yourself.
1. Do I stand up for truth in everything I do?
2. Am I loving even in my own thoughts?
Here is one of Victor’s moments while inside the concentration camp as found in wikipedia…
“We stumbled on in the darkness, over big stones and through large puddles, along the one road leading from the camp. The accompanying guards kept shouting at us and driving us with the butts of their rifles. Anyone with very sore feet supported himself on his neighbor’s arm. Hardly a word was spoken; the icy wind did not encourage talk. Hiding his mouth behind his upturned collar, the man marching next to me whispered suddenly: “If our wives could see us now! I do hope they are better off in their camps and don’t know what is happening to us.”
That brought thoughts of my own wife to mind. And as we stumbled on for miles, slipping on icy spots, supporting each other time and again, dragging one another up and onward, nothing was said, but we both knew: each of us was thinking of his wife. Occasionally I looked at the sky, where the stars were fading and the pink light of the morning was beginning to spread behind a dark bank of clouds. But my mind clung to my wife’s image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise.”
Victor describes an honorable way to introduce personal mastery into his thinking. In his memoirs he pointed out that life can be made meaningful by; 1) what we give to the world in terms of what we are willing to create; 2) by what we will take from the world in terms of our experience; and 3) by the stand we take toward the world, through our attitude we choose when faced with our own suffering.
Back to my original thought of two kinds of people and how this tied into Victor Frankl’s words.
He said, “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Did you catch that? “…to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Each of us gets to choose every moment of every day how we will react, what we will say, and what we will do.
In this published article from EzinesArticles I shared 8 principles that I choose to live by. I’m sharing them with you now for two purposes;
1. in case you ever find I am not living up to these myself you can keep me accountable
2. in case you want share them with others through your own personal mastery
None of us are perfect, and none of us will be loving 24/7 because we are human, but to the best of my ability I want to example the following until the day I die.
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Principle 1 Be Understanding – Be a good listener not a good interrupter. Listen without distractions so you can truly understand the other person’s perspective.
Principle 2 Have Good Discretion – You have the right to act in accordance with your own judgment and with good discretion you can choose wisely. Two important tips: never correct a mocker or you invite insult, and heed discipline.
Principle 3 Live Nobly – Discretion is a segue to nobility. Being noble comes from an inner connection. Noble people live in exalted moral excellence for the purpose of increasing others.
Principle 4 Increase Wisdom – Intelligent people seek education. Wise people also seek an inner voice of counsel, sound judgment, enduring wealth and prosperity which comes without thought of competition. Competitiveness pulls at the very fabric of intelligence.
Principle 5 Be a Teacher Who Serves – Think of others daily and teach by example. Wise teachers ask, “Who can I serve today?”
Principle 6 Live In Gratitude – Not only for what you might obtain but also for what you’ve seen, done or have in your life right now.
Principle 7 Give Love Consistently – People of honor show love to others no matter what the circumstances are. This kind of love would indicate forgiveness to the deepest level of human-ness; forgiving and forgetting.
Principle 8: Exhibit Patience – Patience is a sign of trust. You know any situation will work itself out of you have a belief it will. A person of patience endures to seek out what they are to learn from the situation.
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Being honorable doesn’t mean everything will be perfect and these principles only scratch the surface of those who truly know how to live honorably, but it does mean you can choose to look beyond the imperfections and grow in faith. You can increase honor in your own life by learning, and living, one principle at a time. Won’t you join me?
If you’ve read this entire message then I want to thank you for connecting to decency, to selflessness, to honor and in particular to love.
Please re-tweet this if you found it useful and I’d love it if you’d share a comment below.
Abundant Blessings,
P.S. If you know of anyone who is doing extraordinary things in the world let me know by clicking here—> and telling me about them!
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Connecting to The Power of Questions and Being a Leader in Communication
Have you ever wondered how it is that some people see things as they are and ask “Why?”, while others ask, “Why not?”
Those who ask “Why” are often involved in waiting too long to make a change in their life, while those who ask “Why not” are leaders involved in action taking and making things happen for their lives through personal development.
Those who ask ‘why’ look for an answer to their pain, and when the answer isn’t sufficient they burst into the ‘I’m sick of this!’ or ‘I don’t need this anymore!’ – they give up and walk away.
The only problem with this modus operandi is that they take themselves with them wherever they go.
Leaders understand the power of connecting with great questions simply by choosing to. That’s right – it comes back to choice, and education, then taking action on what you’ve learned.
Asking a great question will provide you with answers that you can use to uplift your life and the lives of those you care about.
Strong leaders also know that asking a poor question will provide answers that delivers poor results, and sadness, over and over again until you are permanently stuck.
So what is a great question?
First lets talk about the 3 Things That Questions Will Do For You
1. Questions immediately change what you are focusing on
2. Questions helps you know what to delete
3. They provide new alternatives you have not thought of before.
Great questions need to be clear, precise, succinct, and structured in a way that make them easy to understand.
Here are a few examples of great questions that assist in developing positive, nurturing thoughts:
How much fun can we have today during our celebration at work?
If tomorrow never comes will she know how much I love her?
What can I do for you today that will help you feel valued?
What will help me create excellent client relationships?
How can we bring joy back into our kids lives?
What do I love and appreciate about my spouse, co-workers, neighbors or friends?
What step do I need to take to bring my business to the next level?
Here are examples of negative questions that bring intellect, and the spirit of a person, down:
Why do you always do this to me?
Why don’t you appreciate me?
Why do you get on my case all the time?
Who do you think you are?
Where have you been all this time?
Why isn’t our business taking off?
Can’t you see it’s your unsupportive attitude that created the mess we’re in?
Where is the deposit you were suppose to make but didn’t?
Do you hear the contempt, blame, insecurities and destruction in these types of questions?
Never be tempted to misuse your power in any relationship. It is crucial to living in a civilized society whether that be your home, work or social life.
Communication is power.
It can increase one’s life or destroy it in an instant. The tongue has been called a double edged sword for that very reason.
Communication is an opportunity.
In order for you to emotionally connect with those in your inner, and outer circles, it’s imperative to remember how much power you have while communicating so you can become someone who attracts more opportunities.
Communication will bring out the leader in you.
This takes time and practice. If you are wanting to grow in your communication abilities to improve your life then keep learning and remember that connecting emotionally is key to your success. Years ago I made it a goal to only learn from companies that know how to emotionally connect in BUSINESS. The link I just added there will bring you to the page you can find them all for your own reference.
Emotionally connecting is all about being loving. We appreciate you, and all the love you consistently give around here, so we know if you found this post of value you’ll retweet it using the buttons above near the title, or you’ll leave a comment below to share. HERE IS MY QUESTION OF THE DAY: What has been your very BEST lesson in communication, whether in your business or your personal life? Please share it in the comment box below. Thank you!!
Remember too that we have free TELE-SEMINARS all about emotionally connecting and communication right here if you want to be on our next call. –>>CONNECT
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
