The 4:8 Principle – Connect to Your Focus?
Where do you focus your attention? Is it on prosperity, good health, love and abundance or is it on ‘not enough’ – as in not enough time, not enough money, not enough energy, food, etc?
Some will say that thinking about what you don’t have in life is simply being ‘realistic’. But I say, if your focus were different, you would see the world in a whole new way.
It’s been said that the subconscious cannot distinguish the difference between imagination and reality. So what kind of “reality” do you want in your mind? What if everyone you met exampled this…
…whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things. Phillipians 4:8
This is a clear description of what to connect your focus on and how we can develop character that is noble, just, pure and true. So again I ask you, what do you focus on?
Below is an example of what our brains tell us, and re-tells us when we’re focused on the negatives and the ‘not enough’s’ in life. The more you focus on what your don’t have, the more you relinquish your ability to handle situations in that frame of mind.
NEGATIVES
No one understands me.
I’m living proof of Murphy’s Law.
I’m never going to do this right.
That’s just my luck.
I have to accept my limitations.
I can’t afford this.
It’s never going to work out.
Nothing good ever happens to me.
POSITIVES
I am accepted and loved.
I expect the best, and it shows!
I am making so much progress!
God has great plans for me!
I am unstoppable!
I’ll figure out how to earn it
I ask, and I receive
I take deliberate steps to achieve my goal
By consistently directing your thoughts towards greater opportunities in your life, you will learn to practice gratitude for what you already have, money, family, house, food, etc. This doesn’t mean that if you merely think positive life will be a piece of cake. This means it will take consistent work on your part to bring your focus into a place that brings you internal joy. In doing so, you can train your subconscious to understand that you are already living in hope and abundance.
I recall a story of an elderly man who mentored a very angry young boy. He invited the boy to go up a mountain trail saying that when they got to their destination (not saying where that was specifically) they would find what they were looking for.
The hike took over the three hours but on the way up, the boy was saying how beautiful the views were, how pretty the day was, how good the sun felt on his back, how marvelous the skies looked, and how amazing the wild animals were. After the third hour of climbing, the man turned to the boy and said, “Okay we’re here.”
The boy looked around for a few moments, realizing they weren’t at the top yet. Expecting to see a much greater scenery or landscape, he looked around but saw nothing special in this spot.
The boy scowled and asked, “What were we suppose to find here? Did we climb all this way for nothing?!”
The old man smiled and softly replied, “When you expected to see something at the end of your journey, you felt disappointed because you couldn’t find it. While you were on the journey you saw things you couldn’t see before and yet you seemed to be very happy all along the trail. You see, all along the path of gratitude is where you will find your true happiness. It’s rarely at the end of any one’s journey.”
What you focus on expands. So practice blessing and loving other people instead of envying them. If you want to be wealthy, then focus on the journey the wealthy person traveled to get there but remember that wealth isn’t just in the value of money. If you want healthier, happier, relationships then seek answers from those whose journey is sincerely filled with deep gratitude, not perfection. Life as we know it will always be perfectly imperfect.
Oprah Implores Parents To Understand The RED FLAGS Of Child Molesting
INSIDE THE MIND OF A CHILD ABUSER
This is no one’s favorite subject, but I found this interview to be one of the all time BEST for Oprah. She will be posting this piece on her website but keep reading to find out why it may very well be her most life altering show…
In meeting with four child molesters from different parts of the country, and currently in rehab for child molestation, Oprah is pleading with parents saying “If you can withhold judgment, and really listen to what they are saying, they will teach you how to watch out for them.”
These men, David, Derek, Lee and Robert, openly admitted their offenses. Each of them are human, each of them acted out in a sinful, deplorable manner, and yet each of them are wanting to help save other victims by opening the eyes of the parents who might listen to them.
Will you be one of those parents?
Sexual predators groom their victims. Here is what these four abusers listed as warning signs of a possible situation for grooming the future abuse:
1. Men (or women) spending more time with children than with adults, particularly at a party or gathering.
2. Men (or women) who give massages or back and foot rubs often.
3. Men (or women) who cuddle more than normal.
4. Men (or women) who listen intently to a child to build trust as they would to someone they would want to date.
I have given 5 years of my life to teach others how to connect emotionally to each other as couples, and specifically to their kids. If you understand what is being said by these men, then you will see and hear that this emotional connection can prevent your son or daughter from being a victim.
These men reportedly looked for:
1. Children who need attention and who will trust others to give it and often it’s a relative or family friend.
2. Kids who are angry at their parents and who wanted to retaliate. Kids whose parents are not emotionally connected to them.
3. Kids who would not tell on them because they wanted validation. The men all believed sex will help the child feel better about him or herself and at the same time give them companionship.
These words carry powerfully rich choices for you as parents.
Do you know if you are emotionally connected to your kids? Would you know how, or where, to start being more emotionally connected to them? Most people do not – so you are not alone. This is why I am developing programs to help assist all parents in this way.
Oprah affirmed that sexual abuse “Changes who you are.” There are very few women that I know today who haven’t been introduced to some form of sexual alteration in their life, myself included. The truth is, it isn’t who you are, but it can determine who you become if you aren’t aware of how to move beyond it.
Being afraid is not the same as being aware! Being afraid perpetuates the victim mentality. It is becoming aware, and choosing a destination from a place of logic and compassion that can bring healing. I can’t explain what this means in a short post but I know it is truth.
Dave (one of the abusers) spoke more truth in this one statement that made Oprah feel her 2-hour interview was worth the time. He said, “I killed who she (his victim) could have been. Just because she is walking around doesn’t mean she’s okay.”
As Oprah stated, “When a child is abused it kills their spirit.” This goes for both genders.
We wonder why so many kids are provocative and engaged in sexual promiscuity? Yet if we stopped to find out what happened to them in their past we would no longer wonder. Ask a serial killer why he kills and he will not be able to tell you. Ask him about his childhood and you will find unspeakable atrocities perpetrated against him as a child, only to him it was “normal”.
I say when you learn to love your child, spouse, friend, neighbor, on an emotional and spiritual level you can help lift their spirit beyond victim-hood, beyond what they know to be ‘normal’. To do this takes loving yourself both emotionally and spiritually.
I have a hero. Her family was murdered in front of her eyes and she was raped and tortured for hours at the age of 10. She is my hero because she could have chosen death from paralyzing fear and depression. Instead she has moved beyond fear without letting this situation determine who she is becoming. Her parents were emotionally connected to her before their deaths. I know this because they were good friends of mine and she is now thriving and living again.
So for all the Melissa’s in life, and for all the Oprah’s in life, and for all the Kellie’s in life, seek out ways to be a hero for yourself no matter how old you are. Tell someone if you are facing an abusive situation or have lived with victimization, but more than that we want you to understand something and to say it aloud as often as you need to until you believe it: “IT WAS NOT MY FAULT.”
Please comment and share on Twitter or Facebook so we can encourage all parents to be aware of the importance of being emotionally connected to their kids.
Will you also please visit this site and let me know if you are interested in knowing how to become more connected to your own kids on an emotional and spiritual level?
- 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18. ACE Study – Prevalence – Adverse Childhood Experiences
- 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18. ACE Study – Prevalence – Adverse Childhood Experiences
- 1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet. Finkelhor, D., Mitchell, K., & Wolak, J. (2001, March). Highlights of the youth internet safety survey. US Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.
- Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under. Snyder, H N. (2000). Sexual assault of young children as reported to law enforcement: Victim, incident, and offender characteristics. National Center for Juvenile Justice, U.S. Department of Justice
Do I “Have” To Emotionally Connect On Social Media Sites?
An individual on my Tele-Seminar calls asked:
“How do you connect with so many people on Social Media at the same time and still have relationships?”
Each of us can determine what type of relationship choices we’re going to make. First understand that you DO have choices.
If I make this statement: “I have to gain more followers on Twitter and Facebook or I won’t be well known among my colleagues or able to sell my products.” Then I have already put pressure on myself to force my way into the lives of others and will end up making huge social media mistakes!
Whenever you say “I have to” do something or “I need to” do something, you remove your ability to make the choice for yourself. Say, I “choose” to because I want to not because I have to. Choice allows you the freedom to feel more empowered. Even the creator gave us the freedom of choice – so give yourself permission to choose!
In my own social media circles I choose to reach out to everyone as though they were my closest friends. Does that mean I am close friends to all of them? No, it’s not possible when I have thousands of followers between Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and so on. I am selective with those I choose to be close in relationship with but I still reach out to everyone in a friendly and caring way. Those relationships that I choose to nurture I do so by staying in personal contact with.
The last thing I want to do is make all my social media connections transactional; meaning look at them as though they are only there to gain more clients or more business through.
When I first started out, because I believed what others told me about social media, I felt as you do, that it was over whelming and I couldn’t keep up. I was also taught to promote to my followers rather than be concerned about relationships. This will bring you conditional success. Sustainable success is where you choose, and where you will grow.
It wasn’t until I turned my conditioning around and began bringing great value to my social media followers that I understood how easy it was to sell because they believed in what I was doing and more to the point – so did I.
I would encourage you to do what feels right to you, but first and foremost give yourself permission to choose, (in every area of your life) and you will find the pressure of feeling like you have to do anything start to dismantle. I’d also encourage you to bring as much value to your followers as you can. Share quotes, find news worthy information, a great inspirational video, a link on occasion to your posts or products.
You will eventually see that you no longer have to “try” to be friends with everyone, you automatically become so when you contribute to their well being in what you say and do.
How To Connect With Leaders Who Will Inspire You Both Emotionally & Spiritually
I am a Tele-Seminarian, which simply means that I teach ‘one on many’ over the telephone every month. It also means I interview leaders from all over the world by phone, or via Skype, record the calls and play them for my community. Through my ASK page I receive many questions like;
“How do I connect with leaders who will inspire me both emotionally and spiritually?”
It’s important to understand that not everyone is going to believe the same things you do and accepting that will help you in your quest to find great leaders to learn from. You will not grow emotionally or spiritually if you close the door of your heart just because someone doesn’t believe the same as you.
Let me give you a good example of this. I have a mentor named Alex Mandossian. Alex is one of the most highly sought after, and brilliant, instructors in the field of tele-seminars. He not only teaches people how to make a living by using your voice, he also teaches both emotional and spiritual growth in his lessons.
Alex was doing a call to promote his upcoming course. At that time in my life I felt anyone promoting anything to me was a sheer waste of time and I was not interested. A friend told me about his call one night so I got on but I didn’t stay on very long. I enjoyed listening to Alex talk and he had inspiring ideas but the minute he started talking about his course, I hung up because I didn’t want hear a sales pitch on the telephone.
When I spoke to my friend the very next day, she asked me what I thought of the call. I explained that I hung up before he got to the sales pitch.
She said, “Hmmm…you know Kellie, sometimes the things we don’t want to hear are the very same things we must hear. Maybe if you just gave him a chance you might find out that it’s something there that could change your life.”
Not wanting her to be right, because my ego had gotten in the way, I told her I would give Alex another chance but that I had no intention of buying into his program.
Little did I know, I would, I did… and it did indeed change my life, but it wasn’t Alex or his course that changed my life, it was me making the choice to take a risk and do something I believed and felt that I could do.
I don’t do teleseminars the same way Alex does because we have different businesses, but I have learned from the best and I’ve made it my own.
So I hope that helps you to understand that there are people out there who can and will inspire you, on line, at BNI meetings, at luncheons, on talk shows, on radio, in fact there are more free interviews on line right now than any other time in history.
I’d suggest you go on youtube and type in the words, INSPIRATIONAL SPEECHES and you’ll find names like Jim Rohn, Les Brown, Randy Pausch, to name a few.
There are people from all over the world who want to contribute to your growth and provide you with value just like I do. My intention is that you learn to leave your own legacy by uplifting others in your own way. Listen to that still small voice within and you will connect both logic with compassion, gain wisdom and knowledge, and learn to share with others in a way that is fulfilling.
Don’t forget to join our Connecting Community and receive your gift to the right. By doing so you can find out the latest information about our up coming tele-seminar calls where you will hear fabulous leaders who strive to keep you inspired and moving forward.
Pride – How Using Humility to Replace Pride Creates a Life You Love
To create meaningful and memorable significance a person would first and foremost need a connection between their head and their heart. I am not a particularly religious person, but I believe that God’s spirit lives within our heart (as the Bible refers to), so to bridge the thinking brain he gave us, to the compassionate heart his spirit resides in creates a more fulfilling life; one of joy, of self control, of peace and one that the world will not necessarily understand.
I look at Jim Rohn; leading motivational speaker, philosopher & entrepreneur, who didn’t start out living intentionally. He began as an ordinary student who became a salesman and who also experienced financial failure in his early twenties. One day a girl scout showed up on his doorstep to sell him some of her girl scout cookies, but rather than make a purchase, he lied to the little girl instead. He felt so ashamed of his behavior he made a decision right then to make an internal change.
Mr. Rohn didn’t know how to start making the changes he needed, only that he knew he wanted to. Being able to admit this lie to others created humility, which also became an open door for him to speak to others who have been in a similar situation and who also wanted to make significant change.
* Egocentric Pride
* Fear
* Rebellion
* Bitterness
These human weaknesses can prevent us from being transparent, which is also what prevents us from being significant and productive. In taking a step out of our ‘comfort zone’ to admit we are human, and that we want to change, really ’sings’ to the heart of other people who can relate and it propels us forward into wanting to make a difference.
This becomes a living testimony to show anyone who feels they can’t change, that it IS possible and you can help them through it by your words of support, your actions of encouragement and by truly being a living example.
Those who live as an example of humility will become someone of great significance to others. Who are some of the people in YOUR life that have been an example of a living testimony for you? Please share your comments below.
Multiple Sources of Income Taught With Ease
Who taught you about earning a passive income for your family? There are lots of people teaching methods that can often make you feel you only care about the dollar when it comes down to it. This wasn’t true for me and I finally did something about it.
Fortunately, there are people who come along in life that give you new hope and you recognize that their values are in alignment with your own. Their names are Judith Sherven, Jim Sniechowski and Tom Justin.
- They took me step by step through understanding a complex idea and made it easy to earn a passive income.
- They taught me to understand how to show people love and respect while marketing and remembering what you hope to achieve.
- They taught me how to express what I wanted to do for my niche and how to speak about it in a way I feel confident.
- They helped me to understand that you don’t have to be a hard selling kind of personality in order to help others.
They are changing the world of marketing…literally… without pounding it over anyone’s head or making you feel confused or gut wrenched.
Their latest book, “The Heart of Marketing” was written by Jim and Judith who are best selling authors. They’ve been on Oprah, the Today’s show, as hosts of radio shows and yet they still teach in a humble and loving way along with their terrific partner Tom.
For me, kindness is what consistently drives me to do what I do for others. I care about you to, and about the fact that you want to have an income that is ethical, moral and kind. Getting a check in your mailbox, without clocking in at a job you can’t stand, is one of the best feelings one can have. I want you to have this opportunity to see their program if you want another income source.
Just share from your experiences, like what I’m doing right now, and feel confident that you’ve given the best information available to those you care about. Simple! Safe! Affordable! If you DO sign up for this course, let me know and I’ll also send you my free E-book “Why Keep An Elephant On Your Bed”. Those who have read my book have learned a lot about acquiring their dreams instead of letting invisible elephants keep you from them.
When you leave a comment please share your links in the comment box to your affiliate sites. Rarely do you get that opportunity, but one never knows who might be clicking on it.
What Happened On My 5 Mile Bike Ride
Have you ever done something that you thought would take a long time but you got so caught up in the moments that it actually went by fast?
I took a 5 mile bike ride this morning and it was amazing. The sun was rising, the birds were singing loudly, and not a single car, person or animal stirred. It was so surreal.
As soon as I left my driveway I took a few deep breaths and the air smelled as fresh as anything I could think of. I got to the top of a small hill and I began to think about the blessings in my life. I recounted the many trips I’ve taken, the people I’ve gotten to know, the fresh air that I breath every day and for family and friends who have come and gone. Every blessing I could think of led me to another one as each pedal rotation gave way to another, and before I knew it I had gone five miles in a very short time.
I feel on top of the world as I write this post. It’s the kind of thing that happens when you begin your day feeling grateful rather than ungrateful and cursing everyone or everything around you. In grateful attitudes there is no blame, no gossip, no worries, just you and a heart filled with joy.
Something happens in those moments…the only way to describe it is like a peace that the world cannot give. I know which I’d rather have every day, what about you?
If you want to embrace a heart of peace, and discover your purpose, then look to the right>>> and fill out your name and email address so you can receive a free Ebook that talks about those very things. Feel free to leave a comment as well as I always love hearing from you.
Why is it So Hard to Ask a Heart-Felt Question of Someone You Love?
Asking a question that comes from the heart sometimes takes courage. Does it make you feel awkwardly uncomfortable or like you might be imposing? Perhaps you think you might be viewed as too touchy-feely, or that someone might judge you as being too nosy? These fears can keep us from showing someone we really care.
If you understand that your thoughts turn into words, your words turn into actions, and your actions turn into results, you will realize how easily you can communicate simply by asking the right questions. It might not happen right out of the gate, but if you’re desire is sincere in getting beyond fear and turn it into faith, then you might be surprised to see how simple it really is to get someone to open up to you.
What do we normally ask when we see someone looking upset? “Is everything okay?” or “Are you alright?”, which will typically generate a yes, or no, response.
If the answer to that question comes back as a “No”, then what is next question we typically ask? “What’s wrong?”
If the individual doesn’t know what’s wrong, or is feeling hurt, then the conversation will likely end with a “Nothing” or “I don’t want to talk about it.” response.
Most people, particularly teenagers, will respond this way if they are not comfortable with the person who asked them. Often people feel you are just being polite but that you really don’t want to hear it. Which sends a message of ‘I really don’t care.’
Lets move past the “Nothing” response. Here is one simple question that can bring anyone from their head into their heart. “Is there something troubling your heart?”
This question causes a person to; think before they respond, allows sincerity in to the conversation immediately and it almost instinctively forces the hearer to decide if they want to be deeply honest with themselves or you.
This one question is tender-hearted and being tender-hearted isn’t for sissies. On the contrary, it takes a lot of courage to be tender toward others and it’s one of the most loving things you could do for them. So get your teen, your husband or wife, your business partner or anyone you care about to open up.
What a Coach Is Not!
People are often confused by the term ‘coach’. People often think of a person who coaches a team or someone who is a trained counselor. What I heard today from two coaches, Marty and Jake of Conference Call University, really took what was in my own head and gave it a voice. I’ve been asked over and over throughout my years of coaching what the difference is between what I do and what a counselor does. Lets clarify what a coach is NOT and see if we can clear this up.
A coach is NOT a counselor. They’re not there to ‘gently’ walk you through your ’stuff’. Their role is to show you how you can stare straight at your strong holds and blind spots and teach you how to move beyond them with determination and persistence. If a coach is sensitive to your issues, but doesn’t buy into them as you talk about them, you will see that you’re either going to respectfully accept or reject what that person is saying.
For someone only looking for sympathy, but is not ready to take responsibility for their situation, a coach may sound harsh and uncaring. If a coach speaks truth but the listener isn’t ready to hear it then the wise coach knows when to end the sessions and return any and all pre-paid monies, if money was exchanged, ahead of the appointment. Not everyone is at the same place, and not every coach will be able to help every person.
If a person wants to see beyond self, accept responsibility for their situation and is determined to get to success then the person who initially felt hurt will find that the coaches words were meant to help, not harm, and the discomfort will either melt away or become irrelevant.
A coach is NOT a person’s end all be all. While a coach might be able and willing to help you with your emotional blocks, coaches are focused on getting results because we want you to succeed. In sports the coaches job is not to pick up the ball and throw it for you. They are there to show you what plays you can’t see on your own and tell you how to do it better the next time.
A coach is NOT a crutch. “Poor me” is not the role the coach will play either. No matter what you face in your life, whether it’s emotional or physical, your coach is someone who you can lead you into where you want to be but only when you are willing to let go of self-serving ways.
A coach is NOT perfect. They might make errors in judgment just like you can, but their wisdom in a specialized field will bring them understanding in ways you may not know about.
So now that you know what a coach is NOT, be sure to consider using one for personal or business if you want to move ahead in life. A coach can be your best motivator. They can be objective, fair, and lead you toward your goals much faster than if you were to go it alone. I know…because I’ve tried both.
HOW TO “SNAP” OUT OF YOUR MENTAL INERTIA
