For review – there are 5 qualifications I look for in a great leader:

1. Do they draw a clear line between what they will do and won’t do, not what they can or can’t do?

2. Do they influence others in heart-felt ways and live out their BEST in all they do?

3. Do they follow through with what they say they will do?

4. Do they make it easy for others to follow their lead? and finally…

5. Do they give to others from their heart and not just for show?

Today’s culture has shifted to a more socially conscious society. People caring about people and wanting to see change that is clear, concise and filled with hope. People want to listen to those that are emotionally connected, speaking to the heart of what matters. These leaders are not listed in any particular order as they are all equally and vitally as important to our world as they are to me personally.

1. Derek Sivers – Founder of CDBaby, who treats work as play. He believes that whatever scares you, you should simply go and do it. He loves to learn, is a minimalist (meaning he is happy living with little) and Derek brought simplified leadership into our lives through T.E.D. with one simple video of a guy dancing while others followed. Derek continues to mentor and inspire us with each of his, often comical, profound views points of leadership.

2. Scott Martineau – Founder of ConsciousOne. A fabulous heart-centered speaker who knows how to help you bring increase to your life. He is a true conscious, benevolent leader who creates high performance systems for leading experts in the fields of personal and professional development. Scott is a gifted speaker who exemplifies great speaking, just by speaking, whether there is a stage or not.

3. Max Simon – Founder of GetSelfCentered. The name isn’t what you think. Most would relate it to selfishness and being self sufficient, but Max teaches to be grounded to the source of life and to center yourself with the spirit of your creator so you are never alone. His teachings are profoundly gratifying and you are able to consistently build upon his astounding business systems for your own business.

4. Oprah Winfrey – Founder of OWN. Okay, so she’s not a stage presenter, and I realize that Oprah’s show was either something you loved or hated, but what I find so refreshing was her entrance into the on-line world and how humbling it was for her. Nothing could have prepared her for this huge step, but she is doing it with as much grace as she possibly can. She made my list last year for the simple fact that she lives her truest self even in the public eye. She exceeds her own expectations of what she can accomplish in life and isn’t afraid to tackle the impossible.

5. Jeni Stepanek – Founder of MattieOnLine. If you have not heard Jeni speak, do not wait. She will captivate your heart on the subject of peace, but it is not easy for her from her wheelchair. Her youngest son, Mattie, became a phenom by the young age 13, writing poetry and becoming an advocate for world peace. When you hear mom Jeni speak, you would understand where he got some of his courage from, although I doubt she would take credit. Mattie died at the age of 13, from the same disease her 3 other children died from, which one can’t even imagine what she’s been through, but Jeni shares personal stories of courage and coping tips dealing with tragedy. Mattie’s message became hers, and as a side note, Oprah Winfrey’s was one of Mattie’s closest friends.

6. Paula Fellingham – Founder of WomensInformationNetwork and WomensGlobalSummit. An amazing speaker who is engaging women worldwide in experiencing a transformation of consciousness. Transforming the lives of millions of women around the world will help prevent illiteracy, poverty and hunger. I am honored to be sharing in the joy of assisting women in personal growth, as we create summits together and to share a platform with her in the future.

7. Kelly Falardeau – Founder of MyKellyF. Kelly maybe fairly new on the scene but you would never know it. A best selling author for her latest book ‘Self Esteem Doesn’t Come In a Bottle’, her speaking career has taken off. As burn survivor, Kelly feels quitting was never an option for her. She was burned over 75% of her body at the age of 2, and this sparked a determination in her that will make you question what on earth you ever have to complain about. She will make you laugh, cry and dance in your seat while she shares her stories and inspires you to accept the beauty you have inside of you.

8. Dennis Cummins – Chiropractor and Lead Trainer for Peak Potentials. Dennis has a heart that seems more broad than the Atlantic ocean, which matches his passion for helping others. He teaches that there are as many successes as failures in life and that nothing is more important that lifting up the relationships you build. His ability to command a room and garner people’s attention is what changes lives around the world.

9. Gary Karp – A spokesman for the uniquely-abled, Gary creates an interactive environment from his wheelchair to discuss topics that are often uncomfortable and challenging. His contributions on stage brings deep understanding to a workplace and entertainment to the audience. A wonderful person to get to know.

10. Joyce Meyer – Founder of the Joyce Meyer Ministries. God’s Love is the foundation for this amazing speaker. Joyce is like the Aunt that every kid dreams of having in their family. She is down to earth, full of life and gives you the kick in the pants you need to get beyond yourself. Joyce has the ability to bring you into a focus of heart-centered virtues and being more like Jesus.

So there you have it, my list for the most profound speakers in 2011 dealing with matters of the heart. These folks are the real deal when it comes to love and life.

If you find this article helpful feel free to forward it on or use it any way you see fit.  I just ask that you keep my name and web address attached to it.  Abundant Blessing in 2012!!

My family and I moved into a new home in South Carolina last week.  It was a huge move half way across the country and I was very excited about it because I believe change is good for the soul.

I tend to manifest both the positive and the negative events in my life extremely well.  There are many different phrases we trainers have for this such as; prayer and meditation, setting intentions, making dreams a reality, the law of attraction, taking ownership, reaping what you sow… but how does it really work?

What is manifesting? It is an indication of the existence, reality, or presence of something.  This “something” can be an illness, a relationship, a paycheck, or even a move across the country!

When I pray I do it believing that the desires of my heart are already becoming a reality.  I make a conscious decision to pray with a deep conviction that my prayers are already being answered.  Most people have to have concrete evidence in order to believe in something.  I however, believe in manifesting because I see my desires already in motion in my mind and I am grateful for the outcome EVEN IF in some cases it takes years before I can experience it.  In my latest book, Connecting, Faith, Hope and Love, you can read how I developed the skill of manifesting, and how you too can experience it for yourself in just 10 minutes a day.

My most recent manifestations are personal, however, I’d like to share a couple of them with you if that’s okay.  This past June I asked my family to believe that a move into a much larger home, in a much larger area, in a much warmer climate, with tremendous connections and greater opportunities was possible.  That was asking a LOT I knew, but I also knew that over the years we had all wanted to move, and had only ‘wished’ it to be so.  Wishful thinking is not the same as manifesting, or preparing for an outcome.  Wishful thinking is simply waiting around, and more than likely complaining because your wish hasn’t happened yet.

I knew that if I could encourage my husband and teenage daughter, and connect them to the  BELIEF that it was possible, that it would be different this time.  The most challenging step to manifesting anything is to see it as already being in existence in  your mind. That takes greater faith.  I’m not talking about a magic Genie. I’m talking about a God who encourages us to believe that, “all things are possible”.

Belief is one thing, taking action on a level of deep faith is quite another.  It’s stepping out of your comfort zone even when you think you might sink.  If you want something you cannot sit idly by and wait for it to come along. You MUST plan and prepare with courage and faith.  This means staying positive and trusting.  How do I know this?  The Bible talks of manifesting, but never once does it say to do nothing. In fact, it says to ‘Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established’.

Plan by committing first, then prepare by moving into action to make your dreams become a reality.

Back to my story…

By November, we not only moved south into a much larger, more beautiful home, but this move has also brought incredible opportunities. While we were unloading boxes into our new home I stopped for 10 minutes just to sit quiet and thank God for every big and little experience we were having, as well as the big and little experiences we were going to have because of living here.  I manifested having Thanksgiving dinner with my married children (who lived out-of-state) and believed we would be together for the first time in 10 years.  In my prayer I also told God I was thankful that we would meet someone who could steer us in the right direction, thankful that we could get familiar with our new surroundings quickly and that someone was going to help get us connected with people we could serve in our new community.

That same afternoon, while we were standing outside a store picking up a chair we had purchased, there was a gentleman who noticed our Michigan license plate. He commented that he was originally from Michigan.  He also noticed that our car was purchased in the same town where he currently worked.  As we continued to talk we also discovered that he was in the Navy (like my husband), and that they were attached to the same military base.  This next “coincidence” is the most AMAZING part.  When we told him where we chose to live and which house we lived in, he lit up like a tree and informed us that he was the original owner of our home (purchased 20 yrs ago) here in SC.  Out of 14,000 people in this busy little town do you think it was sheer coincidence we ran into him!?

Just a few days after being here I stopped again for my usual quiet time with God and said a heart-felt prayer of thanksgiving for the new opportunities that are coming our way.  That same evening I received a phone call from an organization called Women’s Information Network (WIN).   I was invited to be the Event Director for the North and South Carolina for WIN.  I was ecstatic because I will be helping to strengthen women and their families, or businesses world-wide, through education, enlightenment and entrepreneurship.  In doing so my team will be doing our best to educate, with the goal of eradicating illiteracy and hunger.  This is an amazing opportunity to give back. (If you’re in the Charlotte NC, or Greenville SC, area let me know so you can attend!)

There are more blessings than I can count, but I think you get the picture. Please don’t think I share these things to boast. I am sharing my own experiences of what manifesting with steadfast belief, combined with taking action has done for me, and can and WILL do for you as well. It takes just 10 minutes a day to instill this powerful mindset.

This Thanksgiving holiday won’t you consider what you want for your life?

1. Get clear

2. Thank God for what you have and what will be brought into your life

3. Hold the belief in your heart and mind that it will happen no matter how long it takes

4. Plan and prepare for the outcome.

To learn more about this topic subscribe to my 5 FREE Radio Shows above (and to the right) because each of these interviews talks about dreams being fulfilled, and seeing the unique outcomes of them.  Regardless of what anybody else may tell you, your desires are important.  Act on them today with the steadfast belief in the outcome you desire.  Don’t let another day go by without manifesting with thanksgiving from your heart.  And don’t forget to comment below and share this message with a friend.  Abundant Blessings and HAPPY THANKSGIVING! <3  

Kelly says, “I help people take the “T” out of can’t.”

Kelly is a burn survivor of an accident at the age of 2, when 75% of her body was burnt.  Regardless, listening to her is powerfully motivating because she does not let circumstances dictate her success. In fact, she was selected out of 1500-women to compete in a model search competition and won the People’s Choice award. She also won the Fierce Woman of the Year 2010 award and was featured on the cover of Be Fabulous.

“Just because you aren’t perfect, it doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful.” says Kelly, who’s scars are evident, but clearly accepted.

Kelly has been featured on television, magazines and radio shows and if you didn’t hear her interview on my show the other night you have got to take some time to log in on the right.  You’ll hear 5 incredible interviews for free, including one of my favorites with Kelly.  She is also the author of ‘No Risk No Rewards’, the story of how she went from near-death to success.

Kelly wrote her second book ‘Self Esteem Doesn’t Come in a Bottle’ and it launches TODAY!  Kelly has been approached by women who said they had something magical in a bottle that would make her scars disappear and make her beautiful. She knew there was no way her scars would disappear; she knew her self-esteem had to come from her heart and soul.

Kelly’s new book transforms lives (I can attest to that personally) and helps women learn how to feel Greater than Great, just like she does. This book is also great for the teenagers in your life who may struggle with their own inner beauty and self-worth. It not only has Kelly’s secrets to self-esteem and real action steps you can take to transform your own life, but also has secrets from 50 of her friends (yes, I’m in it too)!

I want to help Kelly to share her message with youth and adults around the world by asking you to share this email with your friends/family.  Let’s help her make this well-deserved book, an Amazon bestseller by purchasing her book ‘Self Esteem Doesn’t Come in a Bottle’ today, Oct 25th, at: www.mykellyf.com.

Thank you friend!

HERE’S THE LETTER…

“Since speaking to you both last lots has happened in my life, and I am wondering if we can do a call sooner rather than later.  We will be moving so I have a million and one things to do before we head south in 3 weeks. If we wait, it won’t happen for over a month.

Ladies, I must be insane to even be considering starting one more project at this time.  Between my husband’s company taking on new clients that I serve, to the team I oversee, to creating products for my own company of Connecting, doing PR work, getting my daughter through her last homeschooled year, and now moving. Any one in their right mind would snap – right?  But it all feels amazing to me.

There is something in me that is so ‘over the top’ right now.  Is it an obsession?  I really don’t know. I literally can’t hold a normal conversation with anyone (especially in these past few weeks) without hearing every word as something wonderful to create that can help so many people.

It’s like I was hit with a bolt of lightening or something….. creativity I guess you could say, and now every idea comes bubbling up from inside of me and suddenly I’m speaking in tongues during the conversation. I say that metaphorically because no one else understands what I’m talking about, and I can’t explain it well enough to them as to why I thought the conversation we were just having is so amazing or powerful.  To them its just their ‘venting’ or ‘talking’, but to me it’s all beauty, surrender and love, amazing grace, on and on, and then immediately I think, “Wow, this could easily be turned into a product that could change lives.”

I know you both know what I’m talking about.  It’s just that I honestly feel like I can’t control my desire to create when this happens. I can only describe it as labor pains before the birth of a new baby that will bring so much fulfillment and joy and yet its incomprehensible because there is no time.

Is this what it feels like to lose it?  Could I be insane already and not realize it? Perhaps, but I’d rather think of it as a blessing that is more powerful than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. I even wonder if this is, on a very small scale, the way God felt when he created the world, or how he still feels each time something new is created. It’s purely indescribable.

So that is where I’m at ladies. If this has frightened you my apologies. If not, then lets schedule a call asap. I have Tuesday of next week fairly open but that is the only day. Pick a time if that works for you and I’ll do my best to work around it.  I will record our call in case it’s brilliant – and we want to air it or create a bonus product out of it as a planning session for other entrepreneurial women who want to create. We can talk about whether or not a series is what we want to do or if just one call is sufficient.

Okay, I’m not going to re-read this because I don’t want to know how truly nuts it does sound. Denial is priceless when you have a lot going on. lol But if it frightens you and you’d rather not work together I will understand so don’t hesitate to be honest.

Abundant Blessings,”

Kellie

Why would I share such personal information with the world?

Maybe you are in the 2% of those who feel the need to constantly create but are held back by fear.  Maybe you too know the sting of pain when someone tells you your dream is just a silly idea or your idea is a silly dream.

There are plenty of others who DO understand and you are not alone.  If you are one of US….you need to connect!

Drop your name and email in to the right so we can keep in touch.  Comment below so we know who you are so we can tell you that your dream DOES matter.

It’s not always easy to take a trip when you have a tremendous amount going on in your work life, and your personal life, but if you are planning and preparing ahead of time you can relax while you vacation and make money.

I’ve always thought of myself as a moderately organized person, so what happens before I leave to go on a trip?  I shared in this video how important it is to plan and prepare so you can relax while you are away, knowing your company can still run, or your house hold will remain in tact.

Here are a few personal items to get organized before leaving on any journey. I hope you find them helpful.

• Be sure to leave emergency numbers where you can be reached by your staff or relatives

• Take enough money for tolls, cash on hand and credit if needed.

• Stock your car with:

• Favorite pre-bagged healthy snacks and lots of clean fruit

• A cooler with water and favorite drinks.

• CD’s, MP3′s, DVD’s, DVD Player, Games, Colored pencils, crayons, a few coloring books, sticker books, travel games, travel journal for older kids

• To avoid the difficulty of hauling in a suitcase for every person into a hotel for the 1 night stops, just pack an overnight bag that each person contributes to. This way you take one suitcase of clothes in.

• Do bring one small toiletry bag with everyone’s products

• Do be sure to grab a sweater or jacket for cooler evenings.

• Have motion sickness medicine handy to prevent illness

• Have an extra trash bag in back for kids to throw away empty containers or paper

• Bring a First Aid kit because you just never know when you might need to help someone out

• Have a tool bag, a jack and jumper cables in the trunk

Thanks to great sites like Go Florida, you can find check lists to stay organized with

Check them out!

Trip Check List
Whether traveling by car, plane or train – this printable packing check list is a must.

Trip Check List for Kids
Carry-on advice and packing “must haves” for every age child from babies to teens.

Hopefully you have found some great ideas for your next journey, whether on business or for pleasure. And don’t forget to make your own list of what to do before you return to the office.  Just choose the top 2 priority items until you get caught up on your rest.

Now that I am back in the swing of things after a 3000 mile trip – I get to open the mail I’ve received about my newest book, Connecting Faith, Hope and Love ~ Wake Up to a New Life!  I am blessed to say it’s changing lives.

I decided to return to this thread to respond, and to share on a much more personal level, after all, it comes down to how I live, not how someone else lives.

So here are my answers, and if you are brave enough to make yourself vulnerable maybe you’ll share your personal responses in the comment box below as well. I’d love to know your thoughts and to see how you are changing your corner of the world.

1. Change yourself.  “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” “As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”

My Response:  Consistently evolving is a constant in my life no matter how inconsistent I may feel about it on certain days.

2. You are in control. “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

My Response:  After losing friends to murder and watching a relative continually attacked as a kid,  I acknowledge that people can always hurt my physical body beyond my control, but God says they can never harm my spirit.  I understand Ghandi’s principle here and I agree 100%. Do I live it? Yes, MOST of the time, but as the saying goes, ‘when emotions go up, intelligence goes down’ so anything that triggers strong emotions can make it more challenging. Keeping my thoughts pure and positive helps me to maintain control over my emotions.

3. Forgive and let it go. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

My Response: Ah yes, the biggest challenge for any human because we are taught to intellectually forgive without forgetting. But to do it from the heart and never bring back the sin is unique. The last time I was deeply hurt it took many days to let it go, where it use to take months sometimes years. I am getting much better at the practice of forgiveness.

4. Without action you aren’t going anywhere. “An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”

My Response: I take daily action to progress forward.  Sometimes I progress toward something and sometimes it’s away from something, but either way I am leading myself and/or others with my every action.  If I get stuck then I need to reframe my actions or thoughts. It is not my desire to lead anyone TO the water, or to make them drink, it IS my desire to make them thirsty enough to want to a drink, and lead themselves toward finding it.

5. Take care of this moment. “I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”

My Response: To master this has been a dream of mine since I was young, but particularly after my brain/spine injury. It meant I had to practice listening to whomever, whenever and wherever I was at the time. It took focus and sometimes sheer determination. I love to feel I’ve been successful as I reflect on this one principle, but every now and then someone or something comes along to remind me I still have a long way to go.

6. Everyone is human. “I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.” “It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”

My Response: Several years ago I decided that the next time I wanted to judge or criticize someone else I would look back at myself to see when, or where, I may have done something similar. This one choice takes me back to forgiveness, and a realization I am no different than they are. Only my choices were different at the time. This makes forgiveness much easier.

7. Persist. “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

My Response: Now this one is my favorite! I’ve been ignored, I’ve been laughed at, I’ve been through the fight, so I now get to experience the wins!

8. See the good in people and help them.  “I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.” “Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.”

My Response: I use to have LOTS of trouble with this, but not any longer when I choose to see people through God’s eyes rather than my own. In doing so, I am able to show grace and mercy.  Thats when compassion flows like Niagra Falls.  I’m not kidding.

9. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.  “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”  “Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”

My Response:  What I think and what I do are in harmony but there are sometimes incongruent ideas and messages that appear when you 1) depend on others to help you put them out to the world and 2) when you haven’t had enough sleep.  I am certainly authentic – much to the horror of my teenage daughter and possibly my husband, but if you want my opinion on something just ask. I will certainly be forthcoming.  And yes, having ‘pure’ thoughts is something I consistently work at.  Old habits try to return from an impure world often, but they no longer have a foothold in my life when I focus on the strength of being true to myself.

10. Continue to grow and evolve.  “Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”

My Response: Not a problem! Change is my middle name.

So thanks for asking the question that made me take a few moments to ponder whether or not I uphold these principles.  We would all do well to spend a few moments reflecting on ourselves rather than on the world.  Care to take a moment of your time to reflect and respond?

What is a “Make It Happen Team”?

If you’re a business owner you might call it a Master Mind Group. If you are a parent you might call it a support team.  I call it a tribe.  No matter what you call it, if you are looking to advance your life in any way you need a “Make it Happen Team”!

MIHT’s are getting people through economic downturns, personal struggles and business ventures because they hold one person at a time up and give them a safe place to contribute, learn and thrive.

This positive environment started in the entrepreneurial world, and some say it began with Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich. When the most successful people realized they couldn’t make it in business without the help of others, it became a million dollar idea!  When one person decided to act on the brainstorming suggestions that came out of a group meeting, that group became vitally important.  Can you imagine making over a million dollars from taking action on one idea?  It happens all the time in MIH Teams.

Why would someone join a MIHT?

• Accountability – without accountability most people sit on their laurels. Taking action keeps you committed and moving forward in your life.

• Focus – No more grabbing the shiny objects in front of your face. Your team mates help you stay focused.

• Inspiration – Your team mates can uplift you with prayer and help you unlock your creative genius so you can be ready to take action in your life

• Emotional connection and support – Everyone needs a cheer leader!

• Energy – Your team mates help keep you energized. Keeping your energy level high is a matter of maintaining the proper mindset.

• Practicing Positivity – Keeping a positive frame of mind toward your commitment is vital

• Brainstorming creative ideas – group think on problem solving or hurdle jumping

These are just some of the reasons why an MIHT is important for anyone to consider.  You can maintain a high level of success in your business (or in your life) when you have a support team cheering you on.  Humans thrive on affirmation and being uplifted on a regular basis.    This holds true for you whether you are male or female, entrepreneur or soccer coach, corporate executive or Sunday School teacher.  You can build close long-term relationships with like-minded people, also known as symbiotic relationships, who will be there for you no matter what.

The teams I have created, and participated in, have taken people to new heights, including members making large sums of money from one simple idea, or the wife who needed support while her husband battled a disease, the man who’s business would have failed had it not been for the support of others in the group.

Make It Happen Team’s are there for you on a weekly basis to allow you a safe place to open your heart up and dream about what IS possible. What if I could show you how to create a team for yourself?  Would you be interested in knowing how to do it?

I want to help you join the ranks of thousands of successful individuals around the world who have found success through their team who helps them –> make it happen!

I’d like to help you create your own MIHT so you can move ahead quickly with the support you deserve.  It’s not at all difficult but there are certain things you should know in order to put a successful team together like:

How to choose the best people

What to specific things to say when you ask them to consider joining

The proper format for each meeting

How to meet with your MIHT without leaving your house to do it

And these are just a few great ideas you’ll get out of this wonderful (and very inexpensive) program that I’ll be launching soon.  Let me know if this interests you in any way by commenting below.  Feel free to share this article with others who might want to move forward.  Remember —-> EVERYONE NEEDS A CHEERLEADER!

After years of working with abused people, I feel it is time for us all to understand that WE (parents, grand parents, school teachers, clergy, any and all adults) are the one’s responsible for creating depression in our children.

We often say irresponsible things to them, we often neglect their needs or aren’t even aware of their needs, we often treat them as less-than when they are moody or grumpy. These behaviors in us, produce unhappy and spiritually and emotionally unhealthy kids.

They are heavenly beings that are not born depressed.  It comes down to the simple fact that our own low self-worth is the main reason we become heavy-hitters in perpetuating the cycle.  Generation after generation after generation.

Perhaps I see things very differently than most, but I’ve stood in both shoes so I know the amazing changes that await someone if they are willing to learn how to emotionally (and spiritually) connect to God, themselves and others.

I spiritedly desire a world of love for every child.  A world where love ends the cycle of depression for good.

Persistent depression risk ‘doubles’ in abused children

By James Gallagher Health reporter, BBC News

Childhood abuse doubles the risk of developing multiple and long-lasting episodes of depression, say scientists.

A review, published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, also suggests these patients are less likely to respond to treatment.

Nearly one in 20 people in the UK has this form of depression as a result of childhood abuse, say researchers.

The charity Sane said the study highlighted how damaging childhood trauma could be.

Depression in some form can affect one in five people at some point in their lives. Researchers at the Institute of Psychiatry at Kings College London were investigating depression which keeps on recurring.

They reviewed 16 studies, on a total of more than 23,000 patients, and found that maltreatment in childhood – such as rejection by the mother, harsh physical treatment or sexual abuse – more than doubled the risk of this type of depression.

One of the researchers, Dr Rudolf Uher, said: “If these things happen early in life, it is more powerful.”

In the UK, 16% of people develop persistent depression by the age of 33. A quarter of them, or 4% of the whole UK population, were maltreated as a child.

A separate review on 3,098 people showed childhood maltreatment was also linked to a poorer response to both drug and psychological treatment.

Lead researcher Dr Andrea Danese said: “Even for combined treatments, patients with a history of childhood maltreatment cannot be adequately cared for.”

Their report suggests “early preventive and therapeutic interventions may be more effective.”

Lasting effect

There is no precise explanation of any link between abuse, changes in the body as a child and persistent depression 20 or more years later.

Childhood maltreatment, it is thought, causes changes to the brain, immune system and some hormone glands – some of which are still present in adulthood.

One possible mechanism is what is known as epigenetic changes to the DNA. While there is no change in the genetic code, the environment can alter the way genes are expressed.

Marjorie Wallace, chief executive of the mental health charity Sane, said: “It may seem obvious that traumatic events in our lives can make us depressed, but this study highlights how particularly damaging such traumas can be when experienced during childhood, when our brains are still developing.

“We should all be concerned at how abuse and neglect creates a painful legacy that can last a lifetime, increasing our chances of experiencing repeated episodes of depression and reducing the effects of those treatments that are available to us.

“Yet we should not lose hope. Research such as this can point the way to better treatments and preventative measures.”

If you aren’t familiar with Derek, you might have heard of the company he founded called CDBaby.Com.  He sold it a few years ago for $22 Million dollars, which incidentally he put into a trust fund to help aspiring musicians live out their dreams, but that won’t be touched until after he dies.  I perish the thought of Derek not being around to share his wisdom, but what a wonderful way to leave a legacy when that day comes.

I first found Derek on Twitter, when I began my on-line career in 2008/2009.  I was recovering from a brain/spine injury while transitioning my coaching company to help a larger audience create better emotional connections in their personal and professional life.  I was excited to be meeting new faces on line and so Derek was just one in a sea of faces at the time.  

I remembered Derek’s Twitter page because of his adorable profile pic, but I had never heard of CDBaby or Derek.  From a few of his tweets it appeared to me that he was into music and trying to figure some things out, or at least that was my pre-judgement at the time.  I quickly left his page and went about working on my business.

Months went by and I hadn’t thought about him again until someone sent me a link to an interview and suggested I listen to it.  It was something about ‘what not to do in business’, which I was interested in, so I clicked the link and who did I see?  That’s right, Derek, but this particular interview was filled with so much profanity that I had a difficult time listening to him.  I clicked away from it after a few minutes but I remembered his familiar name as the guy with the potty mouth who’s Twitter page had tons of followers.  That was all I knew about him but I had decided it was enough.

Months later I’m visiting North Carolina, while celebrating the 50th wedding anniversary of an Aunt and Uncle, when they told us we were staying at Elton John’s house (yes, the infamous musician).  It was a very large, very pink house which my husband got a kick out of.  Elton no longer owned the home but my family and I thought it was pretty cool to be staying where he use to live.  We decided to sleep in what appeared to be a sun room, and soon settled in.

On our second night there however, something very odd happened.   It was the middle of the night and I was awakened by a whisper in my ear.  The ‘whisper’ said, “Get up and write Derek Sivers.”  Now I am aware of how weird this sounds so go ahead and think it – I know I certainly did.

At first I thought it was my husband talking in his sleep, but clearly it was not as I heard him snoring while facing the other direction.

I thought, “I must be hearing things.”  So I turned over and settled down to go back to sleep.

Again I heard the whisper. “Get up and write to Derek Sivers.”

My eyes popped open and now my mind was racing.  I slowly turned over, not wanting to wake my husband who might think me mad, and I whispered, “The guy with the potty mouth?! Now why would I do that? He doesn’t even know me, and besides, what could I possibly say to him that would make any difference to him?”

All kinds of other thoughts ran through my head too, like, “I can see it now, tomorrows headlines would read, “Woman gets arrested for hearing voices and stalking Derek Sivers.”  Although I laughed to myself thinking about it, the fear behind that same thought also prevented me from getting up.

I tried to push the idea away again, turned on my stomach and tried to relax.  It was no use.  I was urged to communicate with this man a third time. (Deep sigh)

I finally relented and said, “Oh fine!”.  I threw off the covers, now waking my husband who wondered what I was doing up in the middle of the night.  I went to open my mouth to try and explain but it didn’t even make logical sense to me, so I simply told him I was sorry for waking him and we’d talk in the morning.  I left our bedroom to search for an office area in Elton’s house.

Now feeling like a prowler with flashlight in hand, I found a computer in the den.  I sat down in the large office chair and wondered who else would be awake at this awful hour.  I let out another big sigh and reached below to turn on the computer.  When the monitor illuminated my task ahead I began researching Derek’s email address, and allowed my fingers to wake up as they glided along the key board.

I opened up my email and without going into too much detail to Mr. Sivers, I explained that I was currently staying in Elton John’s old house, where I felt inspired (more like pressured) to write to him.  I told him I didn’t really want to write him, but also that I couldn’t get back to sleep until I did.  I tried to convince myself, and him, that I really wasn’t a nut case, hoping he would not ask my children’s opinion of course, but that I wasn’t sure of the reason I was to write to him.  I said I didn’t have anything profound, or wise, to share except that I would have liked to heard his interview without all the cussing.  I think I also mentioned that if he wanted to call the internet police and have me arrested I would understand, because this was by far the craziest email I had ever written.

Well, Derek being Derek, sent back the most gracious reply; “Hi Kellie, Thanks for writing and saying hi.  Elton John’s house? That’s impressive.  I enjoy hearing from people so no problem at all. Feel free to write me anytime. Derek”

Really?  This guy with the potty mouth, that I tried to avoid or ignore, was actually nice? How can that be?!

Derek immediately gained my respect that day, potty mouth and all.  You see he didn’t judge my crazy message, he accepted it.  He didn’t stop me from writing him, he encouraged it.  He didn’t have a secretary write me and say, ‘don’t call us we’ll call you’.  Instead, he acknowledged my decision to get up and write him.

I realize that I have a purpose to fulfill on this planet, just like you do, and I needed to meet Derek Sivers in order to complete it.  There is someone out there who needs to connect with you too in order for them to complete their mission.  That’s just how life works and how we help one another evolve as co-creators.

I have had many guru’s coaching and training me over the course of my on-line business career, but not one of them has gained my fondest respect to the degree that Derek Sivers has.  Not that I play favorites, but for the rest of my life I will be grateful for the night whispers, which I now get often, and I will follow each one that I hear as they lead me to some of the greatest treasures on earth; Derek Sivers being one of them of course, and the gift of loving others right where they are without judging them – just to name a few.

When people send me crazy messages at three in the morning I am just as gracious as he was when I respond to them, and I have met the most amazing people because of it.  What a fantastic lesson.

If I could do anything to help you in your entrepreneurial business it would be to recommend one thing (outside of being coached by me of course), and that is get to know Derek.  Buy his book(s), listen to his videos, watch his amazing TED talks, and simply learn from him.  You will begin to have your eyes opened in ways you never thought possible; starting with learning to love who you are and to see how you can help serve the world best by being you.  It’s important to your future, you just might not know it yet.

Today I received my 4th newsletter from two women whom I feel are amazingly talented.  I happily read their information because I believe they have made some brilliant choices in their business career, and give solid advice.

Today’s message came from Denise Gosnell, Publisher of the newsletter for Business Thrival, Inc, and I feel it is worth sharing with you if you are also a person who loves to create.  Remember that not everything  you will read is something you are going to agree with, but keep your heart and mind open to the possibilities these ideas can bring to your life.

Denise shared how her house was struck by lightening in June, and sadly, it sounds like the entire house is in total ruin from smoke and fire damage.  My heart goes out to she and her family, and as there often is in any painful situation, she discovered a silver lining – the same way you can if you look for it.

While rummaging through the wreckage of her family home.  She discovered memories of something she once loved and how it propelled her thinking in a way that created success for her so she wanted to share it.  The concepts were found in a book called The Creative Entrepreneur, that I wanted to share this with you in her words.  Thank you Denise!

*************************************************************************************
This 5-step process is timeless, and can be taught to your children too if you have them.

Step 1 – Make Sure Your Goal Is “SMART”

The first thing you should do is figure out what you want to accomplish, at least at a high level.  Start by just writing down what your goals is, such as “I want a new car”.  Don’t worry about it being perfect.  You just want to capture the essence of the goal.

Once you’ve written down a rough draft of the goal, re-write your goal to make sure it is SMART, which stands for “Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely”.

For “Specific”, your goal needs to be more than just a broad statement like “new car”.  A more specific goal for “new car” would be “a new Lexus ES 330”.

Once you have re-written your goal to be specific, it’s time to see if the goal is “Measurable”.  In other words, will you know exactly when you have reached it?  The example “new Lexus ES 330” is very measurable, because you will know exactly when it has happened.  Revise your goal until it is measurable.

You next evaluate the goal to see if it is “Attainable”, and revise it accordingly.  Attainable just means whether you can ever really achieve it.  If your goal was “fly using my bare hands”, then it wouldn’t meet the “attainable” test, because it is something that just isn’t possible.

Next, you need to confirm that your goal is “Realistic”. Realistic just means whether or not it is feasible for you to make it happen like you’ve stated, such as in a certain time frame.  For example, if you had a goal to buy the Lexus ES 330 tomorrow when your bank account was empty, it would not pass the realistic test either.  If your goal is not realistic, then re-write it until it is realistic.

The final element of the SMART test is to make sure your goal is “Timely”.  In order to ever feel like you’re making progress, your goal needs to be short term in nature, such as one week, one month, or one quarter.

With my daughter Victoria, the goal we set was to win a new DVD player as a prize by the end of the Carnival at the 4th of July at the Grand Hotel where we were on vacation last year.  That goal is certainly specific.  It is also measurable, because we would know we reached it by redeeming enough tokens to “win” it.

At first, the goal didn’t seem like it was attainable or realistic, because it took 500 tokens to win the DVD player.  After all, it was the grand prize out of hundreds of prizes.

But my daughter, husband, and I calculated that if each of us played the carnival games together (and not just my daughter), we could rack up 3 times as many tokens, and could still win enough before the day was up.  So we refined it to be attainable, and also realistic.

And it was definitely timely, because we set the goal for just one day, before the carnival ended.  So we refined our goal until it met the SMART test.

Step 2 – Figure Out The Series of Steps that Will Get You There

Once you know that your goal is SMART, you can then break it down into a series of steps that will allow you to reach that end result.  For example, we figured out the exact steps we needed to take to win the DVD player from the carnival, down to how many games we needed to win in order to get the right number of tokens, and how fast we would then run to the prize counter.

And while my example is just for a simple goal, even the most complex goal can be broken down into a series of basic steps.

Step 3 – Envision What It Will Be Like To Achieve That Goal

In this step, you should envision what it will feel like to reach that goal.  You can talk about it out loud, picture it in your head, and/or write it down on paper.

This is important because once you can actually envision what it feels like to reach the goal, it makes it so much easier and fun to actually take the steps to get there.

In my example, my daughter and I talked about what we would do with the new DVD player, and how it would be so nice to play all her favorite movies on it and carry it everywhere.

Step 4 – Take Action One Step At A Time, But With Passion

Once you’ve broken down the goal down into a series of small steps, and have envisioned what it will be like to achieve it, you should start taking action.  Start working on those steps that you wrote down, and follow them, step-by-step.

This is where so many people get hung up.  They just do it at 50%, and fall off track, and just give up.  If you’re going to set a goal, give it your 100%.  And then during those times when you fall off track, just get back on track as fast as you can, and pursue the goal with renewed passion.

But the key is to just keep taking action, in the right direction toward your goal.

In my example, my husband and daughter and I played over 50 carnival games that day to collect our 500 tokens.  We played game after game after game.  And we had so much fun doing it.

We created our plan, followed it, and accomplished it.  We were so proud of ourselves, and I was so excited to see Victoria go redeem that grand prize from hundreds of other kids.  And that leads to the last step, which is to “Celebrate” your accomplishment.

Step 5 – Celebrate

In this step, take a moment to celebrate what you just accomplished.  Don’t be too quick to just mark it off the list and move on.

Pause for a moment and reflect on what you just did.  Pat yourself on the back.  If it is your child, pat them on the back or give them a high five.  Tell them they are a winner, and that they can accomplish anything they set their mind to.

That’s what I did with my daughter.  I recapped our entire day to her and said something like this:  “Victoria, I’m so proud that we worked so hard to win that DVD player.  We set our goal, and we figured out how to reach it, and we did it.  See, I told you that you can do anything you set your mind to, and we just proved it, together.”

And even a year later, our daughter (now 5) still talks about how we won that DVD player at the carnival.  The DVD player didn’t even work after we won it, but that didn’t stop her excitement about how we worked so hard to achieve the goal – and how we accomplished something we set our minds to.

So there you go – a complete process you can use for setting and achieving your own goals.  Now it’s your turn.  Have fun, and share your stories.

If you would like more help in being creative I would check out the book, and remember, there may be some things in it that don’t appeal to you and if so, take from it what you want to and leave the rest.

If you found this post helpful please remember to share it with your friends! Blessings!