Have You Wondered What Your Government Is Doing To Help Haiti?

My son Brady is a Staff Sargent in the United States Air Force.   In this photo he is doing what he loves, and when I think of him I hear his well-written music  in my mind, so this image is one of my favorites.

Brady has fought in Iraq and has seen things you and I wouldn’t want to even dream about.  War takes it’s tole on everyone, but it has not taken away the very big heart he has had since he was quite young.

There have been many times where I wish I could go back and raise my kids all over again, and correct the many mistakes I made as a parent, but then I realize that if I did that then Brady wouldn’t be who he is today and leading in such amazing ways.

He was recently sent to Haiti on a mission to assist Haitians recover during the aftermath of the earthquake.  Below is a story of his first flight there.  I asked him if I could share his experience with my readers and he agreed.  I have one request; please donate wherever you can and whenever you can to help this mission.  Haiti will need help for a very, very long time.

To my son…You are a leader.  I love you very much.

What I do for Haiti, and for Myself…

Flying in to Port Au Prince was like flying into a war zone. Mass devastation, yet the local grounds and natural land formations seemed untouched.

As we got closer to touching down, they warned us that it was going to be an abrupt stop. That was an understatement. The rear of the plane hit the tarmack with the smoothest of ease…but as the wheels began to grip, the front end slammed into the ground. The pilot hit those breaks with what seemed like every ounce of strength he had. You could smell the rubber coming off the wheels as we roared down the runway.  He threw on the reverse thrusters, improving our stopping power even more.

Ever been shot out of a cannon into a brick wall? Me either, but I bet it was pretty close to this. As the flying barge quickly (and thankfully) lost momentum, the pilot came over the loud speaker saying he was sorry for the quick stop but he was afraid he would run off the runway…(what a great feeling of security).

During the whole ordeal, I heard the faint whisper of a stewardess in my mind “contents may have shifted during flight…” Everything was everywhere…nearly losing 6 pallets of high stacked water and 4 pallets of food to what would have been a watery mess in the belly of the aircraft. I had to gather my belongings up, which had become UFOs during the landing, from the front of the giant open bay.

As we FINALLY came to a stop, engines still blaring, we dropped the aft-hatch of the Globemaster. What we saw were things I’ve only seen in movies before…people sitting/laying everywhere. Helos taking off and landing in any open spot on the fields adjacent to the runway and taxiways, crews rushing to meet the injured people on the ground. Planes of all types and other Helos flying overhead in search of others need aid…there seemed to be absolute mass caos. I swallowed hard and stepped off the plane.

I was met by a thousand staring faces. They all seemed to have the same questioning look of ‘what were we doing there’ and ‘do we have any food?’ Most seemed to be worried about being able to leave the country while others pointed to the food and water now being offloaded from the rear of the plane.

It took all of about 2 seconds before I noticed all the cameras…CNN and other world news agencies feverishly working to capture the pain and anguish of the Haitian peoples faces…it killed me. No hesitation…no common courtesy or decency to leave the people be…just cameras all up in their pain and suffering…inches away from their faces. What happened to being here to help? It seemed as though they were there more for the story and a shot at getting that ‘network’ position. As I stood guard at the front door of the plane, I counted the cameras I could see…97 cameras in a 150 ft gap…INSANE!!! I just don’t get it sometimes…

I stood guard outside for the AC for a little over an hour…engines still roaring…until it was time to board. Watching those lucky few faces shine, as though they won the lottery, climb onto the plane was one of the best rewards i could have asked for. It wasn’t the same as rebuilding their house or church, or bringing their animals back to life, but it sure was a close damn second. I didn’t really know what to expect when I volunteered for these missions but I sure figured out why real quick.

As we taxied out to the runway, there was a rabid excitement in the childrens faces. For some, it was their first plane ride…ever…for others, it was the last time they’d ever see the place they called home. At any rate, they were smiling.
Once we were airborn, we handed out the little bit of food and water we had on board…can you imagine…being so hungry and thirsty and the first real sustinance you get is a variety of cookies and powerade…nice. What a ‘Welcome to America’ showing…lol! Needless to say, the kids were STILL smiling.

The sides of the plane were the only seats available, as seen in this picture. These people are all on the floor. We took as many as we could fit.

They gathered up any and every little thing they could possibly find. The Haitians were apprehensive at first but eased their nerves when they saw more food waiting for them just off the back end of the plane. I carried an orphan out and put him down next to one of the female agents. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he squeezed my neck with all his might and took off running towards the food line.

The trip had come full circle for me. What transformed from an early wake-up and just another mission, turned out to be one of the greatest days of my life. I’m honored to do the work I do. I’m honored to have to opportunity…I love being an American.

Have a great day everybody. I hope this provides a little hope for you for our nation and for the world.

Feel free to comment and share.

Parental Anger is Often Created By Generations of Anger

It is said that generation after generation the sins of the fathers are passed down. This is true for every generation, every race and every gender unless you make a choice to stop it.

For years I felt frustration rise from somewhere very deep. I would go outside my house, when I knew everyone inside was preoccupied, and let out a scream that would echo through the valley.  Why? It was my way of releasing the pent up anger. Where did it come from? What was the root cause? I had no idea, I only knew how great it would feel to scream with no one else around, and I remember doing it from the time I was quite young.

My parent’s were angry, their parents were angry and their parents before them were angry. It’s what I learned, how I was taught to engage in life, to deal with stress, to fuss when people weren’t listening to what I had to say.

I thought about anger management classes now and then, but I would compare myself to my husband and I eventually say, “Well I’m not nearly as bad tempered as he is.” and choose not to get help for myself.

The interesting thing about anger management is that you are taught to ‘manage’ the anger going on inside, when in reality, the anger is still managing you for as long as you hold on to it. You can’t run from it, or hide from it, or let someone else borrow it for a while. The way I see it is that you can only face it, pass it on to your children, or release it forever. I had no idea how to release it back then, I only knew I wanted to.

One day when I went out side for yet another scream session and I heard birds singing, cars passing by, dogs barking and life seemed to be normal. In that moment I realized my anger didn’t affect anything outside that wasn’t human and that thought made me think deeper.

“If I did this in my house my family would be greatly affected. The entire atmosphere would change, everyone would walk on egg shells wondering if I was going to implode, and they would even mirror back with some of their own anger.”

Then I asked myself, “Where is this anger directed? Who am I angry at?” I took a moment to think, and to respond. It was upward, directed toward God for allowing my pain, toward myself for not being strong enough to handle it, toward my husband who had an intolerable temperament, toward my father-in-law who also had a bad temper.  It was toward my Dad who lived in a state of anger his entire life, toward my mom who decided to remain in her angry bitter state toward my Dad, so on and so on.

Something bigger had begun to formulate in my mind. It was an image of my young son’s playing sweetly and who then got angry when something didn’t go right… and it suddenly hit me. This is a generational issue!

“What a terrible way to live!” I shouted. From that moment I knew something had to change.  I couldn’t influence anyone else unless I could be certain I could muster the courage to eliminate the problem for myself.

It took several months to figure out what I didn’t want those many years ago, and it took just as long to figure out what I did want and go after it.  Freedom from generational anger.

Generational issues, or sins, affects everyone.  We all have parents, and grandparents, who had something to deal with at one time or another. Drinking, living in fear, screaming, cursing, being hypocritical, holding on to bitterness or rebellion, pornographic issues, worrying, anxiety, you name it – your parents likely dealt with it – their parents before them – and now you.

If you realize you are teaching your children generational issues it’s time to stop before they have their own children. You can choose to eliminate anger (or whatever it is you deal with) so your life can be much richer, and relationships can be much more fulfilling.  There is a way and understanding that your choices, or intentions, can set you on a course toward freedom is key, at least it was for me and the thousands I’ve shared with in my programs and speaking engagements.

It’s time to STOP generational issues from spreading, but it all starts with you.

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Lead With Love And Remarkable Things Will Happen

Our teenage daughter, had taken a journey to Honduras to volunteer in an orphanage to teach the young leadership skills while sharing hugs of plenty.  Her desire to go to Honduras came from knowing many of the kids at the orphanage since I had made a trip there myself 9 years ago.  We remained in contact with the kids throughout the years.  Something happened there that has changed her life permanently.

A bit of background: My daughter is home schooled and her desk is in the same office where my husband and I run our companies.  She has learned useful life skills in leadership and many other advantageous opportunities while she keeps up her academics.  She believes her greatest advantage is our one-on-one interaction, and making time for one another during the day, that otherwise might not happen in a school setting.

My daughter  is a remarkable person at the young age of 15 and I say that with humility.  One thing I’ve learned as a parent is that when kids begin to listen to their heart they will develop their purpose in life and the outcome is one in which we parents cannot take credit for.

One evening she was walking with two other volunteers back to the orphanage and a 10-yr-old little girl.  Four men pulled up next to them in a vehicle and stopped.  Two men quickly jumped out of the back seat while the driver held a large gun pointed at my daughter and the boy.   She lifted her hands in the air while one man grabbed the boy’s back pack off his arm and walked behind the small group.  She thought the man had put his hand on the little girl’s shoulder so my daughter instinctively dropped her arm and pulled the little girl behind her.  Her only thought was to protect; so she step in front of her to block the view from the man with the gun.

Just then they heard other voices coming from down the road, which made the men nervous enough to quickly get back in their vehicle and take off.  The group was left in shock and immediately said a prayer of gratitude before continuing on their way back to the children’s home.

There will always be a “what if” factor in this story because we don’t know what would have happened had the men not been scared off by others entering the scene, but one very profound thing stood out to me.   To instinctively step into harms way to protect the little girl tells me my daughter has developed an attitude of love; a willingness to risk your own life to save someone else’s.

I believe that every child has remarkable potential to grow into leadership but they must experience love in order to act on it.  Why do I say love? Have you ever tried to lead without love? What was the result?  Pure obedience, no thoughts culminating or questions brewing.  No space for creative thinking, no possibilities of dreams, or strengthening the potential of those dreams, and ending with a very limited capacity to lead.

If love leads first, every character trait shown will be magnified through dignity, nobility, honor, and perseverance.   Who wouldn’t want to follow a leader such as that?

I admire my daughter’s courage to do what she felt was right even if it meant taking a risk.  We will never know our greatest strength until we have experienced moment’s of taking our greatest risks.

Military Parents – 5 Leadership Skills You Can Use at Home – Make Transition Easier on You & Your Kids

When my sons were very young my husband would set out for his tour of duty on the open seas, which left my two sons and I alone to fend for ourselves.

These photos were all taken when they entered boot camp at the age of 18.  Husband Center:  Retired Navy

Sons Left & Right:  Marine and Air Force (one is still deployed)

I understood of course that my husband was serving his country and this was his duty, but what an emotional predicament that decision would often leave our family in.

Allow me to help you understand how it can be a time of positive growth and change rather than emotional predicaments.

I experienced 16 years of military parenting, I coach parents for a living and am the United States Founder for the Leadership Cafe Foundation. I mention this only because I want to share my thoughts with you not only as an onlooker, but also as someone who thoroughly understands the transition factor between deployments.

If you will heed these words that come from my heart you will find your transition time much easier for both you and your children. If you do not, you will stay locked in a frustrated role of parenting rather than a role of leadership.

You are the leader your children will look up to, particularly when your spouse deploys. Get this in your mind now, say the word “leader” out loud, listen to audios, read books, and learn how to be the best parent and leader you can possibly be; the kind of leader you would want your kids, and all the neighborhood kids, to follow.

Here are 5 Tips That Will Help During The Transition Time

1. Avoid Depression and Anxiety – Understand that your mind has everything to do with your feelings. When you allow your mind to focus on the negativity of your spouse leaving, your body feels it, your kids feel it, even your neighbors feel it. Have you ever noticed how a person in a ‘bad mood’ can change the atmosphere? This is an unhealthy choice. Looking for sympathy will not help you with this important time of transition. It will only serve one purpose, to keep you feeling sorry for yourself and searching for others to feel sorry for you as well.

2. Get Creative – Your kids need to be able to talk to you but if you’re too sad, they won’t want to burden you with their problems. You don’t need to stay sad. Focus your mind and attention on things that make you feel good such as; exercising, playing table games, taking a 10 minute nap, visiting with friends or relatives, crossword puzzles, taking a bath, etc. Develop a routine of adapting at least three creative outlets throughout your day.

3. Establish Ground Rules for Communication With Your Children – You are your kids sounding board but not their door mat. Feelings of being unworthy will cause the doormat feeling. To establish open communication you must become a transparent parent. Your kids need you and will want to talk to you, but if they don’t know how you feel they will draw their own conclusion and shy away from talking about how they are feeling as well. They learn by your example. Focus on positive communication at all times.

For younger children: put up magnetic faces that are happy, sad, angry, etc, and a calendar on your refrigerator so they are able to place a magnet on each day, or each moment, as their feelings change. When you know how they are feeling you can address it openly. Avoid asking them what’s wrong. They will likely say “Nothing” no matter how old they are. Ask instead, “What’s troubling your heart today?” so they have to dig into the issue.

4. Find Support - Do you have friends that have kids of similar ages as yours? Do you go to a church or an Activities Center such as the YMCA? A good leader knows it’s important to create space for their children to grow. Find excellent mentors and facilitators. Seek out the Chamber of Commerce in your area to find out what events are happening in town each month.

5. Believe in the Possibilities – It is possible for you to have a wonderful time with your children whether your spouse is gone or at home, but it comes down to your own personal belief system. Will you create space in your family’s life to belief anything is possible?

You can have wonderful transition times if you will only believe that anything is possible.

If you would like to understand how we, as parents, can be leaders our kids will look up to then please take a moment to receive my free E-book about removing limiting beliefs and move toward success.  In doing so, you will also receive my gift to you of a free 30-minute coaching session to get you started on the right track.  Look to the right of this post and you will see a form for your first name and email address.  It’s that simple!

Letting Go – A Secret to Your Kid’s Thriving

No matter what you are trying to let go of, this story can help you learn a valuable lesson of creating space for your kids to thrive not just survive.

Education has always been important to me.  I had wanted to home school my kids for years but since we had come to depend on my paycheck for the mortgage, the option to teach them myself was not a possibility.  I can’t explain why this desire was so strong, it just was.

Once our youngest reached high school age I decided to let go of my desire to home school.   Wouldn’t you know it, before her 8th grade year ended she came to me and said, “Mom, I feel distracted at school and would like to try homeschooling next year.”

My jaw hit the floor and my mind began to race wildly with one thought;  “It wasn’t my plan to home school through the high school years, no way, that’s not possible!” Even though my mind was shouting ‘no’ I could still feel my heart saying ‘yes’.   I reasoned with her that distractions are everywhere and that she would need to work on self control to stay focused and motivated, but I wondered if it was a concept she even cared to grasp.

After discussing it with my husband, doing careful research of schools, solidifying networking groups for the social aspect, we agreed that she could begin her ninth grade at home.   Since I was building my own company I didn’t have the resources, or time, to delegate my work so we chose on line courses from an accredited school in Florida.

Everything seemed to be going pretty well until I became extremely busy and she was left working independently for several weeks.   Like most kids, she didn’t feel any accountability, therefore, she allowed herself to became engrossed in facebook and spent most of her school time there instead of on her work.

One afternoon I looked into her grades and noticed she had fallen way behind.  I spoke to her about it calmly, then set into motion a plan for her to get herself back on track.   (Notice who set the plan in motion.)  She assured me she would work hard to pull her grades back up but as time went by, nothing changed.

I found myself in turmoil over her negative situation that was obviously getting worse not better. “What’s happening to her?” I thought. “What are our options to help her survive this?”  I sat on the edge of my bed and asked for wisdom.  The most ridiculous reply came immediately to my heart. “Do Nothing.”

What?!  It is not my nature to do ‘nothing’. It was my ‘job’ as her parent to do ’something’ I internally argued.  I felt like grounding her, scolding her, even doing her work for her just to get her back on track again.  My own pride was feeling hurt because I was failing as a parent.  God was saying “let go” but again I was saying ‘no way’.

“How can I possibly let her fail the 9th grade when she’s capable of a 4.0? This is absurd! No parent would do that, besides it would devastate her!” Again I heard, “Do nothing.” I felt completely aghast, but I also realized that somewhere in my heart this was as much about me as it was about her.  I knew letting go was the right answer.  So I literally forced myself to do absolutely nothing for days, weeks and eventually months.

Every time I walked by her desk and saw her on facebook, I said nothing and kept on walking.  I can’t tell you the number of times I wanted to duct tape my hands and mouth shut.  I recall saying, “Aghhhhh….this is going to either kill me or teach us both a very good lesson someday!”

Five entire months of school went by and I did nothing, and I wasn’t alone, she did nothing as well.

By the end of June, she had completed only 36% of her 9th grade year.  So it finally came time to tell her where things stood. We sat together on the couch and I put my arm around her while she cried. I told her she had only two choices.

Choice A) To repeat the 9th grade, or Choice B)  To do summer school for 12 hours a day to make up for the 5 months of playing around.

She didn’t want to make the choice, and of course wanted another choice from which to choose that would bail her out of her mess, and who could blame her really.  That was exactly what I had been teaching her how to do year after year without even realizing it.   It was time for both of us to face the music of complete accountability, so I let it be her call.

She chose the summer school plan and often worked 12 hour days to get her work done.  I’ve never seen anyone more motivated than she was that summer.  There were times when I kissed her goodnight and went to bed while she stayed up until 2 am to finish essays.  My heart broke for her over and over but still I chose let go, something I should have done long before the 9th grade.

When the summer came to a close, she had passed the 9th grade with mediocre grades, but the lessons she learned will remain with her for the rest of life.  Here are just a few of those lessons:

• she realized she could do anything she put her mind to
• she maintained a 4.0 the following year
• found her personal motivation toward a solid career path in photography
• learned laser focusing on what’s priority
• shadowed a prominent company to learn more about her major in photography
• was contacted by the one of the top photography colleges in the US
• went to Central America at 15 to inspire orphans to dream and to achieve goals

Letting go is not easy, but it is more about your own ego than anything else.  If you made it through this whole story, then you’ll know that when I got out of my own way, and my daughter’s way, we both learned to thrive not just survive.

No matter what you are trying to let go of, realize you can’t change another person no matter how tight you may want to hold on for that change, only the person’s willingness to change can bring results.  It’s time to let go and do nothing but allow the natural flow of life to take place.  You can still be there for support when it all hits the fan but hopefully you will love more deeply from a position of support and assist, than control.

Do you have a story to share or a question about letting go?  Please comment and share!

Parents Ask – How Did I Become The Enemy? Lead With Love

I remember driving home from work one day absolutely dreading having to enter such an awful atmosphere.  I began picturing myself walking through the door and being forced to face the mayhem that lay just inside. In my mind’s eye I could see; three teenage boys on the floor playing video games, dishes piled up in the sink, homework not finished, disparaging comments flying about and my ultimate fear…their lack of respect for my authority. How did I become the enemy?!

Fortunately, this was 10 years ago and my victim mentality no longer exists. Wait…did I say victim mentality? How could that possibly be a victim mentality!?

I was brought up in a home where parenting responsibilities were passed from parent to parent. No one wanted to be accountable for making a change, creating resolutions, creating choices for the children because it was too hard, took to much valuable time. The worst justification of all is something I remember saying myself many times over;  “The children would just put up a fight about it and I don’t feel like dealing with it!”

I don’t resent my parents for it, now, but there were many years when I did. I know they did the best they could with what they were given, just like your parents did and just like you’re doing now.

You are not the enemy, but you are the responsible party and until you accept this you will find yourself in the same position I was in 10 years ago, dreading coming home to my kids.

I say this with all the love in my heart but let me be perfectly clear. You are responsible for following through on what happens in your home and in your every day life. You cannot change what is happening externally until you decide to change what is happening internally. I’m not suggesting counseling but I am suggesting accountability.

My environment growing up was emotionally abusive but I didn’t know it. Why? What kid questions how they are being raised when it seems ‘normal’ to them? Why would they question it? This is why so many kids are abused but keep it quiet. Its normal, not out of the ordinary and certainly not irresponsible from the perspective of the child.

Here are a few priorities for you to consider in becoming more responsible:

1. Acknowledge if you were in any way abused. To see this you will have to recognize where there are corosive beliefs in your value system. Spend some quiet reflection time on this.

2. Choose what core values you want to have as a leader in your home. You won’t know what these are until you’ve spent time evaluating what you do want instead of what you don’t want. Look past your reality! Open your mind up to the possibilty of a peaceful home. Spend time observing families who raise kids without rebellion, watch educational films about parenting with love, read books and listen to audios from coaches who knows how to help you emotionally connect to your kids.

3. Ask for wisdom. The creator of the universe will open up a wealth of wisdom to you if you seek it with all your heart.

4. Let go. When you are able to see, hear, and feel what you want for your family life, you’ll begin to move into making better choices.  Prior to that it is imperative that you let go of trying to control their thoughts or behaviors.  When you can let go you’ll see another jewel of wisdom.

5. Trust and believe that you can rise above enemy lines without ever concerning yourself with them again. Sound simple? It is and it is not. Patience equals trust. Without patience you are not trusting in the belief that it CAN work.

This article is not going to change your life, but you taking action on what you read in this article could.  Parental Leaders often have to un-learn corrosive behaviors before they can emerge from the grasp of victimhood into transparency.

Choose what you want to have in your life today! Write it down, post it on your wall and go after it. Live it out and watch your family follow their new leader; leaving behind forever – their old enemy.

Leadership and Parenting Does Matter For Teens

My husband and I hired 5 young teen boys and girls to rake the yard of an investment property today.  It was a huge job.  While working I noticed a young guy I had not seen before with a rake in his hand.  I approached him and asked what his name was.  He told me his name and said that he lived across the street.

I was shocked.  I’ve lived on the circle for 3 years now and know all the kids in the neighborhood, except him.  I had never seen this pale skinned boy before.    I smiled and said, “How come I’ve never met you before?”

The boy shrugged and I could see my question made him uncomfortable.  I continued, “Well…I’ve lived here for 3 years and I’ve never seen you outside playing with the other boys your age, if you don’t mind me asking what made you decide to come out today?”

He looked at the ground and quietly responded, “I saw all the kids out here and decided I wanted to cross the street and lend a hand.”

I bent low enough to connect with the eyes of this young teenager and said, “Thank you.  I’m sure it took courage for you to come over here with the other kids and as long as your parents don’t mind that you’re here, I would gladly welcome the help.”  He smiled shyly and got to work.

Watching him work, I could see there was very little confidence in his spirit and very little of what he was doing would have made sense to an on-looker, but it all made perfect sense to me.  He got in the way of the other kids, they worked circles around him, and he had little ability to rake in one spot for too long.  My observations told me that this boy had little interaction at home with parents and likely sat in front of the TV or Xbox all day, which would explain why I never saw him before.

When we were done a few hours later I paid each kid their promised wages, except this boy.  I had not brought enough money with me.   The boy’s father dropped by and we had a conversation about my desire to pay his son for the work he had done.

He said he worked long hours and he had wanted the boy to learn better work ethics and responsibility but he didn’t have time to teach that since he was gone so much.

I asked him if he would allow me to write a card to the boy to thank him and encourage him to get to know the other kids by helping us more often.   His father thought that was a good idea and better for his son than sitting in front of his X-box all day every day.

There is no doubt in my mind that this boy will grow up feeling misunderstood and unworthy.

Parents please hear me. When kids sit playing games for hours they are limited in common sense activities that build large motor skills needed to feel confident about themselves and their surroundings.   They also have to work twice as hard emotionally and socially to catch up because most end up with ADD or ADHD.   Most importantly, spend time with them.

It wasn’t what I taught my kids that I felt regret over, it was all that I didn’t teach them that I felt regret over.  Will you make that same mistake?

In my card I wrote; “If you continue to focus on responsibility and learning new ways to work that seem right to you; one day you might be paid what you are worth. For today, I saw the goodness of your heart and what you taught me was priceless. Thank you.”

He may ask me what I meant by that some day and I hope he does so that we can talk about his dreams and goals for life.  My guess is he has none because his mind hasn’t been given the opportunity to dream, but I hope I’m wrong.

My beliefs may be different from his parents but he strikes me as someone who wants something better for his life than what he’s got.  Perhaps I saw myself in him when I was young. Either way, he’s welcome to cross the street any time.
So for today a young boy’s perspective on life may have changed, or not, but what matters is that one little gesture on his part changed my life.  To me, its why what we all do matters.

What Happened On My 5 Mile Bike Ride

Have you ever done something that you thought would take a long time but you got so caught up in the moments that it actually went by fast?

I took a 5 mile bike ride this morning and it was amazing. The sun was rising, the birds were singing loudly, and not a single car, person or animal stirred. It was so surreal.

As soon as I left my driveway I took a few deep breaths and the air smelled as fresh as anything I could think of. I got to the top of a small hill and I began to think about the blessings in my life. I recounted the many trips I’ve taken, the people I’ve gotten to know, the fresh air that I breath every day and for family and friends who have come and gone. Every blessing I could think of led me to another one as each pedal rotation gave way to another, and before I knew it I had gone five miles in a very short time.

I feel on top of the world as I write this post. It’s the kind of thing that happens when you begin your day feeling grateful rather than ungrateful and cursing everyone or everything around you. In grateful attitudes there is no blame, no gossip, no worries, just you and a heart filled with joy.

Something happens in those moments…the only way to describe it is like a peace that the world cannot give. I know which I’d rather have every day, what about you?

If you want to embrace a heart of peace, and discover your purpose, then look to the right>>> and fill out your name and email address so you can receive a free Ebook that talks about those very things. Feel free to leave a comment as well as I always love hearing from you.

Negative Thinking Toward Kids Produce Negative Kids

On my last Question and Answer session in February, I had a Dad say: “I want to affirm my children but negative thinking controls me, what’s the best solution for me to control it and how do I know if I’m no longer struggling with it?” Eian, IN

Most children would like to have someone to validate and affirm them so that’s a very good question. Negative thinking affects the entire population at one time or another.

Let’s talk about our thoughts for just a moment. There are times when our mind rolls out a plethora of negative thinking we’ll call mind trash. Mind trash tells us all the negative things we can think to remind ourselves, about ourselves, and about others.

“What an idiot!” “Can’t you do anything right?” “You should have known better than this!”
Here’s a very common one…“If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry about!”

The negative thoughts go on and on and to those who have been raised in a negative environment it is perfectly acceptable, normal and often even funny to them. Unless we know how to remove negative thinking from our lives permanently those thoughts will creep back in time and again.

The Bible says to think on things that are pure, lovely, holy and just and to take every thought captive to Christ. Do any of those examples above fall within those qualifications? What you might not realize is that negative thinking creates a self-focused life. We don’t need to look any further than the beginning of God’s word to see the damage it can cause among people.

You might work during the day and feel you can’t make the time to carry a pen and paper around with you to jot down your thoughts every hour, but unless you make it a priority to see just how much they consume your life, you remain unaware of how normal it has become for your everyday lifestyle.

Negative thoughts lead to; doubt, resentments, bitterness and can eventually create depression, low self esteem anorexia, and a host of other problems or disorders that the medical field adapts new medicines for. I call these types of thoughts the food where parasites feed. It’s self focused and bleeds over into our kids lives. If an enemy is cunning and out to destroy you (and your kids) then what better place to start than in your mind?

The second part of Eian’s question was “How do I know when I am no longer struggling with negative thinking?” The answer to that is by living with an attitude of gratitude every day. There is nothing like it. When you can wake up every day thankful for everything you have; money (no matter the amount) job, house, children, food, etc, and for everything you will have in your life, including the trials, you will know you have kicked the habit of negative thinking for good.

Negative people are no fun to be around…positive thinkers are sought after individuals and their grateful heart is completely contagious! It is not a matter of IF you have days when you fall, it’s a matter of when you have days that you fall. Its okay, be aware of it, ask for forgiveness and get back on track. Seek it with all your heart and you will find it. Never give up!

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