Creating YOU Time Is NOT Selfish

1V2A5189Why do you suppose the word ‘selfish’ is so often associated to taking “YOU” time?

Even the greatest transformational leaders of our world took time to fill their cup on occasion.

I curled up in my brown leather chair next to the warm fireplace. It was cold outside and the chill seemed to drift through the house. Instantly I felt warm and cozy.

“I love this room”, I thought to myself. Not just because I designed it, but also because its filled with so much love. I look at our family pictures hung up on one wall, about fifteen of them in different frames and each one unique in style. My children’s faces are happy and its easy for me to remember all the good moments each one was taken in.1V2A5187

My daughter, laying on the floor beside me, was reading something on her computer while her pup curled up next to her.

“That dog snores as loud as any man.” I thought. I smiled and said to myself, “Life is good.”

That’s when the first “BUZZZ” notification went off on my iphone.

I momentarily chided myself for not remembering to change the notifications back to silent. It took a minute to get up out of the recliner that I rarely sit in. I walked across the room to the end table and picked up my phone. Hmmmm….it was from one of our family members and the message said, “Will you co-sign on a loan for me?”

It took me a split second to respond in my mind, “Not in a million years.”

I’ve seen the results of my nephew’s recent choices. He’s young, lost, posing as one thing and living like another. I get it, but I won’t contribute to it. I spent time sharing with him how to come clean, find resolutions and take responsibility, knowing it might all be in vain. Still, it was good to hear from him and know he’s still alive.

Shortly after setting my phone down, the home office phone rang.

I debated whether or not to answer it since it was Sunday. I was already up so I sauntered over to it. That’s interesting…it was a close family friend our son’s grew up with. He lives independently, even though born with Cerebral Palsy. He told me he was recently hit by a truck while crossing the street in his wheel chair, so the fact that he’s still alive is a miracle in itself. He explained there is pain everywhere which had now intensified and asked if I could help him relax.

I spent the next while getting him to relax with my breathe and release, breathe and release, technique. When I could tell he was about to fall asleep, I pray for him, tell him to hang up to allow himself to drift off to sleep.

As soon as I hung up the phone a dear friend PM-d me.  (Now I know you might be thinking…..”why don’t you ignore these interruptions?” and I’ll answer that in a minute.)

My girl friend and I talk on a pretty regular basis. We’re business associates as well as BFF’s. While I know she struggles in the area of relationships, I found myself listening to all the same stuff she repeats regularly. I paused her long enough to reminder her to hold a space for healthier relationships while anchoring herself in courage rather than fear.

Ten minutes was all it took, but before I knew it, my entire evening had vanished.I chuckled thinking how much money I could have made had I charged for my time this night.

617248_10151352948150802_1788722075_oThe truth is, we sometimes have to remember that being there for our family and friends, whether we agree with their lifestyle or choices or not, shows compassion.
I’m not perfect at it, but I know that my life is not to be squandered away to provide only for myself. Would I loved to have had a quiet Sunday evening to myself to do whatever I wanted? Sure. But I chose to give some time away instead and in the process I also received lots of pleasure from being there for my family and friends. Its what makes my world go ’round.

During the week be more self disciplined about your time.

In order to be productive and make money, you have to be self-disciplined. Derailing life is easy, each time you blame something or someone else – there it is. Its easy to not take responsibility for your future that way.

Like most, I know from personal experiences that moving into a space of love by connecting to personal responsibility – now THAT is beautiful.

Take control of your attitude and emotions by taking action on a daily basis. This is the only way to insure success. I’ll share with you what I do and if it sounds like it can work for you then duplicate it.

  • Mon through Fri I have morning devotions, exercise time, educational time and learning a new language time. I call all of this my “self care” time and I do this between 4:00 am and 8:30 am. Rarely does anyone intrude on that time, since its become routine (and there isn’t anyone in my home willing to get up that early or be in bed by 10:00 pm every night). And although this might sound horrible to some, this self care time is what helps me breathe success into my life.
  • After self-care time, its time to get to work for others. I focus on how to bring more value to my family and my clients and I do that every day of the week. I survey them, I find out what they need and I find solutions to their problems. This is what generates income.
  • I stay current and open while problem solving my way through no matter what. There will always be changes in schedules and flexibility issues so expect them. Life can be messy sometimes so you have to expect the occasional spike in blood pressure when things go awry. Learning how to problem solve will create perseverance to the highest level.

I challenge you today.

Stop thinking solely about making money. Stop thinking about the television show you might be missing or other ways you could be spending your time. Rarely do I feel someone else’s ‘urgency’ becomes mine. Last night was unique and I’m grateful to have been there for my family and friends by choice. In truth, I consider times like that a privilege and an honor rather than a pain in my neck.

Give a little of of your commodities away and see what happens. Be present. Be compassionate. Watch the seeds blossom.

To those who G-I-V-E c o n s i s t e n t l y without receiving…

When you give, give, give without providing self-care, you are saying no to something else. YOU. I get it believe me I do. I have to fight the urge myself sometimes because its what comes natural to me. But I have to remember to do ALL THINGS in moderation. Your time is just as valuable as someone else’s. Choose when to give it away and when to charge for it. Only you can determine which it will be.

If you’d like a bit of insight or assistance with “YOU” time, then schedule a time to talk with me. It might be time to actively participate in a “Day of Love”, just for you.

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((((BIG HUGS))))

Tailored to any audience, Kellie speaks on successful head and heart connections that develop sustainable relationships and businesses.
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About Kellie

A Devoted Wife, and Mother, Published Author, Inspirational Speaker and Certified Trainer Who Transforms Lives and Businesses.
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