My Gratitude & Pain – There was a Reason For Both

There is a reason why gratitude and pain must run parallel in our lives.  If it didn’t we would not understand how to mature emotionally, spiritually or even physically.

In the early part of 2007, my whole world changed.  My partner left the company, my young nephew was killed in a boating accident and his mother, my little sister, died a few months later from cancer.  At the same time, my husband suffered from depression and was unable to keep the business afloat during my out of state trips to help the relatives.

Just when I thought things were about to turn around I slipped on black ice in December of that long year, and landed on my head.  This fall created an injury to my neck and brain.  For nearly three months I was lying on the floor, in bed, or in a chair having brain seizures.  When I wasn’t having seizures I experienced forms of stroke-like symptoms, neurological issues and severe dyslexia on and off.  The most frustrating part, however, was the inability to process intelligent adult conversations.

By June of 2008, my business had closed but the seizures were less frequent and less disruptive to my life and to my families life.

Although the first two and a half months disappeared from my memory, something wonderful happened six months after my fall.  One morning in June, I sat up in bed for the first time without pain and looked out my bedroom window.  I remember seeing a beautiful sunny day as I looked out my window.  I suddenly realized my eyes didn’t hurt from the light and I felt no pain in my head or anywhere in my body.

My heart was immediately filled with gratitude.  I wanted to jump up and run through the house telling everyone but I didn’t want to ruin the quiet moments of sheer elation so I forced myself to remain still.  I also noticed an inner peace that I hadn’t felt in years.  My head, it seemed, had finally connected to my heart because  I heard these two very simple but powerful words from inside me; “Trust me”.

Immediately I began to cry and thank God for all that I had, and all that He was going to do for me.  I thanked him for every little (and big) thing and for all the deep lessons I still needed to learn.

At the end of that song of gratitude I realized that I would not have changed a painful thing that happened in 2007.  I knew every bit of it was for my own maturity and powerful growth, in fact, as strange as this sounds I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  I finally understood how to cherish the joys of gratitude, after learning to release the pain, and I’ve made it my purpose in life to help others learn to do the same.

Since that day, something creative burst forth like sunshine behind a cloud. I’ve written and communicated in ways I never did before.  I can’t explain it, I just know it is very real and powerful.  I’ve heard this happen to others but it’s not easily explained.  I’m thankful, that’s all I know.

Do you have a story of a brain injury that happened to you or someone you know? Please share it here if you are willing to be open about it. I’d love to know how you survived it and what life is like for you now.

What a Coach Is Not!

People are often confused by the term ‘coach’. People often think of a person who coaches a team or someone who is a trained counselor. What I heard today from two coaches, Marty and Jake of Conference Call University, really took what was in my own head and gave it a voice. I’ve been asked over and over throughout my years of coaching what the difference is between what I do and what a counselor does. Lets clarify what a coach is NOT and see if we can clear this up.

A coach is NOT a counselor. They’re not there to ‘gently’ walk you through your ’stuff’. Their role is to show you how you can stare straight at your strong holds and blind spots and teach you how to move beyond them with determination and persistence. If a coach is sensitive to your issues, but doesn’t buy into them as you talk about them, you will see that you’re either going to respectfully accept or reject what that person is saying.

For someone only looking for sympathy, but is not ready to take responsibility for their situation, a coach may sound harsh and uncaring. If a coach speaks truth but the listener isn’t ready to hear it then the wise coach knows when to end the sessions and return any and all pre-paid monies, if money was exchanged, ahead of the appointment. Not everyone is at the same place, and not every coach will be able to help every person.

If a person wants to see beyond self, accept responsibility for their situation and is determined to get to success then the person who initially felt hurt will find that the coaches words were meant to help, not harm, and the discomfort will either melt away or become irrelevant.

A coach is NOT a person’s end all be all. While a coach might be able and willing to help you with your emotional blocks, coaches are focused on getting results because we want you to succeed. In sports the coaches job is not to pick up the ball and throw it for you. They are there to show you what plays you can’t see on your own and tell you how to do it better the next time.

A coach is NOT a crutch. “Poor me” is not the role the coach will play either. No matter what you face in your life, whether it’s emotional or physical, your coach is someone who you can lead you into where you want to be but only when you are willing to let go of self-serving ways.

A coach is NOT perfect. They might make errors in judgment just like you can, but their wisdom in a specialized field will bring them understanding in ways you may not know about.

So now that you know what a coach is NOT, be sure to consider using one for personal or business if you want to move ahead in life. A coach can be your best motivator. They can be objective, fair, and lead you toward your goals much faster than if you were to go it alone. I know…because I’ve tried both.