Knowing Where You Are Headed is Vision – Pillar Four
I will totally enjoy sharing the next few Pillars that Jim Rohn’s and Chris Widener shared in their book Twelve Pillars. The next few make so much sense that if you practice them you’ll see your life change almost immediately.
Pillar Number Four – Achieving Your Goals
Perhaps you get tired of hearing about goal setting, or you are already an expert goal setter and achiever, but either way this may be a new message for you.
Goal setting is by far one of the most critical ways to live an intentional life. All those who have gone before you, and succeeded in large and small ways, whether you agree with them or not, have two main characteristics in their lives. A few names you may recognize: Thomas Edison, Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Warren Buffett, Oprah Winfrey, and Jesus Christ.
They each had a goal and they each achieved that goal by going through both pain and joy during their journey. It wasn’t that they wanted to suffer greatly in any way, but it was an understanding of suffering that led them to believe that no matter what, they would succeed. I see two strong traits in these leaders.
1. They all had optimism in their vision which translates to hope
2. They all had a ‘why’ that was larger than their will
Think about what they were like before they felt led to these higher callings. Born at different times, living lives that were not all that extraordinary as children, but as they grew their values and purpose got stronger. No matter how many times they were slandered, or called a fool, they kept going.
What made them keep going? How come they didn’t give up?
I believe it comes back to human will, which we all have. Jesus said, “Not my will, but thine.” He knew where he was headed and he also knew that the ‘why’, the hope for a better life for all, would prevent his will from turning back.
It was not the goal that made these folks great but what it made of them to accomplish the goals they expected to accomplish. Jim Rhon made that statement a great force in my mind.
I mentioned in a previous post “Two Kinds of Leaders” that when I was 6-years-old I convinced myself that there were only 2 types people; the loving and kind – the unloving and unkind because of what one man did to change my world.
I felt that one group believes that there is someone out there watching over them and that no matter what – it fills them with hope. The other group I believed was forever doubtful, suspicious about everything, feeling alone which fills them with fear.
I didn’t know the words, suspicious or doubtful at age 6, however, when I learned what they meant I knew I didn’t want to integrate them into my personal philosophy. I vowed that I would believe in hope for as long as I lived and I’ve never looked back, which is why I now teach Connecting emotionally to your own Vision~Power~Action plan.
Goals that bring value to others, as well as to yourself and your own family, often become so important that they eventually change the world.
My client asked, “Don’t you first need to know ‘how’ your goals are going to happen?”
Not at all, but you can create goals in a way that will allow your will to be open to increasing every lesson one step at a time. Every lesson, whether an easy or harsh situation, will help you evolve and ask, “What can I learn from this to move ahead and to share it with the rest of the world?”
So write down what your goals are for the end of today. That’s right, Mr. Rohn suggests starting with the end of your day, the end of your week, the end of the month or even year and work backwards. What do you want to achieve? Once your mind is cognitively aware of the goals your body goes to work on achieving them. Your very first goal can be to write your first goal!
My love for you is increasing by the day as I evolve and grow in my own life and I want to assure you that you won’t always know ‘how’ to continue to move ahead on your journey but your entire job is to trust, then take a step, trust then take another step toward whatever goal you want to acheive.
My first and greatest goal toward success was in believing that God is truly watching over me and that no matter what – I am to continue trusting and sharing what I learn every step of the way with you. That may not seem like much right now, but if you believe it you too can achieve it.
Just in case you want to get caught up on the prior Success Pillars here they are: ONE, TWO, and THREE
Please comment and/or share and as always know that I appreciate you!
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Success Pillar Number Two: Total Health for All Leaders Who Know How to Connect
It isn’t often that someone can say they have total health in all 3-dimensions of mind, body and spirit, as Jim Rohn and Chris Widener describe in their book the Twelve Pillars. 
At the time of this writing, I feel extremely blessed to say I have exactly that in all areas of my life. This is not to boast in any way, it is to merely give gratitude to God for helping me see how important it is to successfully connect all 3 dimensions internally so you can handle external success.
~Success Pillar Number Two~
Total Health
If you haven’t read Success Pillar Number One you may want to go back and read it here. It’s an easy and quick read for you–> Pillar One
May I tell you a story before we begin with this Pillar?
When I first began my journey into the entrepreneurial world my health was horrible, my mind was terrible and my spiritual life was moving quickly toward the toilet. You may know the story by now, but just a very quick recap:
- Months and months of brain seizures caused by a brain injury
- Couldn’t carry an adult conversation without talking backwards or stuttering while trying to speak
- I felt complete discouragement, completely empty
I could often sense the onset of a seizure, which was a blessing because it enabled me to alert someone to explain what to do until it was over. Sometimes it lasted minutes, and other times it felt like hours, but regardless of how long they lasted it often took days for me to recover.
Any one who knows me can tell you I enjoy life with lots of energy but when I was completely spent in all 3 dimensions, I’d sleep for hours afterward.
Although healing was happening slowly over time, it wasn’t fast enough for me in my weakened state.
I went to bed one night and angrily said to God,
“Enough is enough! If something doesn’t change soon then I don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning!”
Now in my heart I wasn’t willing to give up, nor was I having suicidal thoughts, its just that I was utterly exhausted from living with such a terrible mind, body and spirit.
What I find interesting is that like many people who get to the bottom before they change, I had to have a spiritual experience in order to live joy-filled again.
The next morning I awoke and the sun was shining so brightly through the window it was almost blinding. When I sat up in bed I did it slowly as I normally would, trying to avoid the severity of pain, but there was no pain. “Am I dreaming?”
The pain (which was in all 3 dimensions) had become my best friend over those 6 months. I moved my neck and head around to be sure. YUP! It was quite real. I felt nothing, no pain whatsoever for the first time in 6 months. As I write these words I have goose bumps recalling that experience and the awesome feeling of new life, new spirit and even a new body come back to me. It was a complete head/heart, 3-dimensional connection.
As I write this I’m also realizing it truly could have gone the other way, I could be permanently asleep right now. Hmmm…I’m glad I woke up so I could share my life and these life changing principles with you.
From there I began studying whatever I could get my hands on with a thirst that was unquenchable. I learned from Jesus, Mother Theresa, Jim Rohn, Chris Widener, Denis Waitly, Alex Mandossian and many more. I educated myself and prayed so much that I neglected my physical health for many months.
Once I started going to the YMCA I was able to get my physical body in order but it took a long time.
Can someone please tell me why it only takes 1 single week to get out of shape but 3 months to get back into it?
~Patience is a virtue my grandma always said~
now I realize that it also equals trust.
Back to Pillar Two…Total Health
1. YOUR SPIRIT: If you look for health within your spirit, your mind and body can handle whatever is thrown at it, like wearing a suit of armor. This is the reason I put spirit first.
Remark: Jim Rohn made a statement that if a person gets so spiritual that they are no earthly good then what sense will that make? I couldn’t agree more. Don’t preach to me, just show me and I’ll want to follow you.
2. YOUR MIND: My car, my kitchen, walking the dog, running on the treadmill, going on road trips, these are all examples of where I take my personal university courses daily. You don’t necessarily need to buy products to get started, just google what you are looking for and read articles like this one to set you on a path.
Eventually you’ll want to learn from a mentor who has the experience and wisdom you deserve to acquire, in whatever field you want to be in, so I strongly encourage you to get involved with their products or seminars to learn and network with other like-minded people.
Remark: Someone recently thought I’d have at least one PhD in the Social Science field. Sorry! I never went to college, but I did work at one for many years in the Vice President’s and the President’s office as their assistant. Does that count?
Truth be told my sense of self worth was so low from being called “stupid idiot” as a kid that I never felt worthy of going to college. I was swallowed up by self pity and that ugly victim-ish mentality for years.
I’m very happy to report that I am perfectly happy creating a wonderful successful life learning from so many wonderful people without degrees themselves. Their character and actions represented in me are my degrees.
3. YOUR BODY: Love the YMCA! I recommend it to anyone but if you can’t pay the monthly fee then walk or run for at least 20 mins a day and lift books or bottles of water while at your desk. Getting in to shape takes hard work and dedication but its SO worth it.
Remark: If you work out so much that your muscles are bulging – but your head is empty – you’ll get plenty of looks from a distance that make you feel good for the moment. You might even find a partner for a time, but will you be able to have self worth enough to carry on conversations that are intelligent? Your self worth is just as important to someone else as your good looks and big muscles. Exercise to keep a healthy body in moderation.
If you look for balance you may not find it, so choose to look for total health instead by starting a little bit in all three areas. Most people focus on one only and neglect the rest. It’s okay to skip one now and then but if you work on growing all 3 in your garden, just imagine the bountiful harvest you’ll see a few months down the road.
One more thought: Celebrate every small victory along the way. 
As always, I would love to know your thoughts in the comment box below, and going one step further to learn it, live it and share it with others in your life.
Feel free to share this link on facebook and twitter as well! Thank you and
Abundant Blessings,
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Is Your Life Going in Different Directions? – You Are 3-Dimensional So That Makes Perfect Sense! Pillar One
What causes our lives to feel so out of control? Is it pressure to perform? Pressure that others put on us or what we allow on ourselves?
Do you realize that there has never been a “ladder to climb”, or “fame to acquire” or even the thought of “becoming successful” when it comes to the internal workings of a human being? I know you’ve been taught that success is vital and it comes in these various ways but I tell you it’s all poppycock!
The Internal Order You Possess is 3-dimensional. We each have a body, a mind and a spirit but we didn’t have to DO anything to obtain them. They were each given to us without the slightest amount of pressure to perform something successful. There was one initial requirement from the creator; obedience in love. In order to lovingly obey, we MUST keep these dimensions in good working order to provide optimum health, for us to live a healthy lifestyle, no matter what direction we choose.
You are in a constant position of leadership over your life. How do I know? God allows us to choose. There are times when the pressures moves us in different directions, like a reed in the wind swaying from side to side, and when this happens we look for something else to blame. What we don’t realize is that this is a symptom that something within our 3-dimensional system (mind, body or spirit), is out of order.
Jim Rohn and Chris Widener wrote a small book called “Twelve Pillars” and it describes the road to find direction in your life. Are you interested in a breakdown of those extremely important pillars?
Let me challenge you, even if you think you live by them already, repetition is the solidification of memory.
Pillar Number 1:
Work harder on yourself than you do on your job.
Your character is far more important than your skills. How do I know this? Because you were not born with tools in your hands, but you were born with a mind and heart to develop your character. The tools came along later as an added bonus to aid in bringing more abundant blessings in to your life.
Lets use the garden analogy because it’s simple to understand.
May I ask you a simple question: If your life were a garden would you allow the garden to be over-run with weeds?
Everyone wants to believe they would never do that and say they would harvest a substantially large amount of produce rather than weeds… but lets think about it.
After planting your rows of seed, what pops up first, the plant or the weeds? (Unless you’ve taken steps to put down a protective barrier to keep the weeds from coming up through the rows the right answer is weeds.)
Within a few days you’ll see the weeds grow and you tell yourself you’ll get to them tomorrow. You realize it takes time and energy to pull the weeds up but you’re too busy or too tired, which allows the weeds several more days to grow in the garden. I’ve been guilty of this before.
When you do make the time to weed its just enough so that the weeds won’t completely choke out the vegetation. The problem is the vegetation still suffers from all the extra insects and roots near the plants. I’ve been guilty of this also.
There are many gardeners who will look at someone else’s garden and criticize or tell them how to garden while their own produce suffers at home. Oh my no….I’d never…um..well okay…(red faced)…I’ve been guilty of this too on occasion.
So back to the Pillar…
Working harder on yourself means choosing to be a life-long consistent gardener. Pulling out the weeds in your own life weekly, daily so that your character develops vast amounts of produce to share. Eventually you become the type of gardener that others come to count on as being wise, and someone who shares plentiful amounts of fruits or vegetables. (This is the law of attraction at it’s best)
In the past few days I’ve spoken to 4 people who say they don’t know their purpose, don’t know how to find it, or where to begin looking for it, or what direction they should even begin looking. Here is how I respond to these people:
1. First, decide what you want for your garden of life just like you would decide what seeds to plant. If that includes prayer then begin with that. You may also want to ask yourself a few questions like:
- Do I want corn? Do I want carrots?
- Why do I want these things?
- How will they benefit my life or the lives of others?
2. Talk to others who know their purpose or ask yourself a set of questions that will allow you time to figure it out.
- What do others feel I’m good at planting? (this means asking)
- What do others feel I’m not good at planting?
- Listen to the answers objectively and write them down.
I want to be very clear about the importance of WRITING THEM DOWN.
Without writing down your desires you will neglect them just like you would your garden. Every successful person I know has written goals and keeps them where they can see them, including myself. Some of my greatest teachers are successful because of how well they have tended their gardens – NOT because they make 6 or 7 figure incomes. It can often take a constant reminder to stay on the path of gardening so put your desires where you will see them daily.
When your brain confirms what you want, your body and spirit will follow.
If your mind is telling you this is selfish or “That God doesn’t want this for me”…read what the Bible says regarding ‘the desires of your heart’ and allow yourself to be amazed. You can turn your weeds into incredible gardens!
Educate in every way that aligns with your purpose; listen to CD’s in your car, read, attend events that teach about your desire, get to know others who already do what you want to do. These are some of the very best ways to keep your garden weeded. The more you learn the more you will produce greater character and less weeds.
You will find Pillar 2 –>HERE
If you found this a good reminder please pass it on to your fellow tweeters or facebook friends and comment below. Abundant Blessings!
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Two Kinds of Leaders; The Honorable Ones and The Dishonorable Ones – Which Do You Want To Be?
I was 6 years old when we stood outside in our driveway, I remember breathing in the frigid air, waiting for the school bus to arrive. I wanted to get to my second grade classroom early so I could thank the janitor privately for the mittens I proudly displayed on my hands that morning. He was usually at the janitors closet next to our classroom when we got to class.
While holding my hands out in front of me I gazed at the white snowflake design in the middle of them, then I had this thought;
“There must be two kinds of people in the world, ones who are loving and ones who are not loving.”
I also remember wondering if I was in the loving group, but knowing for sure the janitor must be. I pictured him laying those beautiful handmade mittens on my desk after school, knowing I needed them.
I had seen both the loving and unloving exampled to rationalize a concept like this at age Seven. I went back to this moment in time because I woke up today with a similar thought after spending time researching the meaning of honor for my latest book.
If you think about it, most of today’s children have been witness to abuse of one form or another (spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, sexual) if they watch any television or sit at the computer for any length of time. Are you aware that our kids will likely see angry people (cartoons included) at least 10 times per hour, profanity more than 20 times per hour and people discussing or committing immoral acts at least 5 times per hour depending on what program or station they are watching?
We often rationalize the exposure our kids get by saying “they’re too young to understand it”, or ”it’s just cartoons”, or “it’s not real its just Hollywood”. I know I’ve even said these things when my own kids were little.
How many parents have given children televisions in their bedrooms and have no thought as to what is influencing their kids? I didn’t do that but I might just as well have with how often it was on during my unconscious parenting days.
I wanted to share a specific quote in my book by Victor Frankl, so I googled it to be sure it was accurate. Although I could not locate the direct citation for this particular thought, I know that Frankl believed that there are only two races. He described them as “Decent” men and “Indecent” men.
During my search I found the following short story in Wikipedia and felt so moved by it that I wanted to share it with you in hopes that it makes you ask 2 questions of yourself.
1. Do I stand up for truth in everything I do?
2. Am I loving even in my own thoughts?
Here is one of Victor’s moments while inside the concentration camp as found in wikipedia…
“We stumbled on in the darkness, over big stones and through large puddles, along the one road leading from the camp. The accompanying guards kept shouting at us and driving us with the butts of their rifles. Anyone with very sore feet supported himself on his neighbor’s arm. Hardly a word was spoken; the icy wind did not encourage talk. Hiding his mouth behind his upturned collar, the man marching next to me whispered suddenly: “If our wives could see us now! I do hope they are better off in their camps and don’t know what is happening to us.”
That brought thoughts of my own wife to mind. And as we stumbled on for miles, slipping on icy spots, supporting each other time and again, dragging one another up and onward, nothing was said, but we both knew: each of us was thinking of his wife. Occasionally I looked at the sky, where the stars were fading and the pink light of the morning was beginning to spread behind a dark bank of clouds. But my mind clung to my wife’s image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise.”
Victor describes an honorable way to introduce personal mastery into his thinking. In his memoirs he pointed out that life can be made meaningful by; 1) what we give to the world in terms of what we are willing to create; 2) by what we will take from the world in terms of our experience; and 3) by the stand we take toward the world, through our attitude we choose when faced with our own suffering.
Back to my original thought of two kinds of people and how this tied into Victor Frankl’s words.
He said, “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Did you catch that? “…to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Each of us gets to choose every moment of every day how we will react, what we will say, and what we will do.
In this published article from EzinesArticles I shared 8 principles that I choose to live by. I’m sharing them with you now for two purposes;
1. in case you ever find I am not living up to these myself you can keep me accountable
2. in case you want share them with others through your own personal mastery
None of us are perfect, and none of us will be loving 24/7 because we are human, but to the best of my ability I want to example the following until the day I die.
*********************************************************************************************************
Principle 1 Be Understanding – Be a good listener not a good interrupter. Listen without distractions so you can truly understand the other person’s perspective.
Principle 2 Have Good Discretion – You have the right to act in accordance with your own judgment and with good discretion you can choose wisely. Two important tips: never correct a mocker or you invite insult, and heed discipline.
Principle 3 Live Nobly – Discretion is a segue to nobility. Being noble comes from an inner connection. Noble people live in exalted moral excellence for the purpose of increasing others.
Principle 4 Increase Wisdom – Intelligent people seek education. Wise people also seek an inner voice of counsel, sound judgment, enduring wealth and prosperity which comes without thought of competition. Competitiveness pulls at the very fabric of intelligence.
Principle 5 Be a Teacher Who Serves – Think of others daily and teach by example. Wise teachers ask, “Who can I serve today?”
Principle 6 Live In Gratitude – Not only for what you might obtain but also for what you’ve seen, done or have in your life right now.
Principle 7 Give Love Consistently – People of honor show love to others no matter what the circumstances are. This kind of love would indicate forgiveness to the deepest level of human-ness; forgiving and forgetting.
Principle 8: Exhibit Patience – Patience is a sign of trust. You know any situation will work itself out of you have a belief it will. A person of patience endures to seek out what they are to learn from the situation.
*******************************************************************************************************
Being honorable doesn’t mean everything will be perfect and these principles only scratch the surface of those who truly know how to live honorably, but it does mean you can choose to look beyond the imperfections and grow in faith. You can increase honor in your own life by learning, and living, one principle at a time. Won’t you join me?
If you’ve read this entire message then I want to thank you for connecting to decency, to selflessness, to honor and in particular to love.
Please re-tweet this if you found it useful and I’d love it if you’d share a comment below.
Abundant Blessings,
P.S. If you know of anyone who is doing extraordinary things in the world let me know by clicking here—> and telling me about them!
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Connecting to The Power of Questions and Being a Leader in Communication
Have you ever wondered how it is that some people see things as they are and ask “Why?”, while others ask, “Why not?”
Those who ask “Why” are often involved in waiting too long to make a change in their life, while those who ask “Why not” are leaders involved in action taking and making things happen for their lives through personal development.
Those who ask ‘why’ look for an answer to their pain, and when the answer isn’t sufficient they burst into the ‘I’m sick of this!’ or ‘I don’t need this anymore!’ – they give up and walk away.
The only problem with this modus operandi is that they take themselves with them wherever they go.
Leaders understand the power of connecting with great questions simply by choosing to. That’s right – it comes back to choice, and education, then taking action on what you’ve learned.
Asking a great question will provide you with answers that you can use to uplift your life and the lives of those you care about.
Strong leaders also know that asking a poor question will provide answers that delivers poor results, and sadness, over and over again until you are permanently stuck.
So what is a great question?
First lets talk about the 3 Things That Questions Will Do For You
1. Questions immediately change what you are focusing on
2. Questions helps you know what to delete
3. They provide new alternatives you have not thought of before.
Great questions need to be clear, precise, succinct, and structured in a way that make them easy to understand.
Here are a few examples of great questions that assist in developing positive, nurturing thoughts:
How much fun can we have today during our celebration at work?
If tomorrow never comes will she know how much I love her?
What can I do for you today that will help you feel valued?
What will help me create excellent client relationships?
How can we bring joy back into our kids lives?
What do I love and appreciate about my spouse, co-workers, neighbors or friends?
What step do I need to take to bring my business to the next level?
Here are examples of negative questions that bring intellect, and the spirit of a person, down:
Why do you always do this to me?
Why don’t you appreciate me?
Why do you get on my case all the time?
Who do you think you are?
Where have you been all this time?
Why isn’t our business taking off?
Can’t you see it’s your unsupportive attitude that created the mess we’re in?
Where is the deposit you were suppose to make but didn’t?
Do you hear the contempt, blame, insecurities and destruction in these types of questions?
Never be tempted to misuse your power in any relationship. It is crucial to living in a civilized society whether that be your home, work or social life.
Communication is power.
It can increase one’s life or destroy it in an instant. The tongue has been called a double edged sword for that very reason.
Communication is an opportunity.
In order for you to emotionally connect with those in your inner, and outer circles, it’s imperative to remember how much power you have while communicating so you can become someone who attracts more opportunities.
Communication will bring out the leader in you.
This takes time and practice. If you are wanting to grow in your communication abilities to improve your life then keep learning and remember that connecting emotionally is key to your success. Years ago I made it a goal to only learn from companies that know how to emotionally connect in BUSINESS. The link I just added there will bring you to the page you can find them all for your own reference.
Emotionally connecting is all about being loving. We appreciate you, and all the love you consistently give around here, so we know if you found this post of value you’ll retweet it using the buttons above near the title, or you’ll leave a comment below to share. HERE IS MY QUESTION OF THE DAY: What has been your very BEST lesson in communication, whether in your business or your personal life? Please share it in the comment box below. Thank you!!
Remember too that we have free TELE-SEMINARS all about emotionally connecting and communication right here if you want to be on our next call. –>>CONNECT
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
Connecting to Your Focus Creates Internal Leadership
Where do you focus your attention? Is it on prosperity, good health, love and abundance or is it on ‘not enough’ – as in not enough time, not enough money, not enough energy, food, health etc?
Do you often worry? Have anxiety that keeps your knees bouncing while sitting or twirling your hair and biting your fingernails?
I’m going to share a story with you that is very personal to me.
This past month was a bit frightening as we watched our teenage daughter develop a strange and debilitating illness. Over the years we took her to the doctors because her neck would swell up like a football player for no reason, intense black and blue marks would appear on her body that hurt her, and stomach pain with gagging reflexes at least once a month.
These symptoms were strange to us and each time we were told that it was due to stress so she was given little green pills and sent home to recover. The odd part for us is that we saw her as a genuinely happy, open and laid back kid, so we didn’t see her as the doctors described.
She was scheduled to go to a training camp in Virginia for one week with the staff of her new summer employment, and she couldn’t wait. The first morning there she went for an early morning run with the other staff members and sat down upon her return. She described that moment as feeling such intense pain in her abdomen that she nearly passed out. When she tried to eat (this girl loves food) she would gag or vomit. She said it felt as if there were shards of glass coming from her intestines up to her esophagus so she chose to stop eating for a while until whatever this was went away. We had no idea the severity of what she was experiencing, nor did anyone at the camp.
By the time she got home several days later, she was very pale, had lost a significant amount of weight in her face and was in constant pain.
We found another doctor and insisted they run a series of tests including an x-ray of her abdomen. Tests revealed a thickened mass attached to her breastbone so we ordered a CT scan. Our daughter knows I’ve lost many family members to cancer so immediately she began to think the worst, and I hate to admit it, but so did we.
Ten days after this illness began it ended. I wanted to share the ‘how’ with you because at any time any one can end up with a similar focus, and if you do, I want to help you know what to do.
She had lost over 6 pounds, had no energy and was still not eating. A friend of mine, Kevin Rath, connected with me and reminded me that we had been focusing more on the “dis”-“ease” rather than on her optimum health. He was completely right!
He reminded me that joy of any kind is like good medicine to the spirit so we focused on laughter, we focused on the victory we have over illness all throughout the following days. We chose to speak only of health and healing and not of the illness. We gave her vitamins in liquid form and we remained grateful for every drop that stayed in her system. We sang, we prayed and we remained hopeful.
We still don’t know what actually happened to cause this intense pain, and the docs are still stumped, but 2 days later she was completely back to normal. The CT scan was clean, and just last night she said, “Mom, I feel better than normal. I haven’t felt this good in months.”
She also realized that her fear (and ours because she could see and hear it in us) caused much of her subconscious poor health. It was amazing watching her connect to internal leadership abilities and take charge of her life again.
A simple shift in all of our focus manifested health and healing. What would have happened if we had not shifted our focus? We believe we would have eventually manifested the demise of our daughter. Was it a miracle? We choose to see it that way and are grateful to our very core to see her healed.
Some will say that this is hogwash
Some will say that thinking about what you don’t have in life is simply being ‘realistic’. But I say, if your focus were different you would see the world in a whole new way. Not “might see” but “would see”.
The subconscious cannot distinguish the difference between imagination and reality. The front of your brain reasons everything out, while the subconscious mind is obedient to the act of whatever it is you are thinking about.
For instance, if you are watching violence on TV, then your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between you doing the violent acts or not. This may explain why nightmares occur after watching a horror flick. The same holds true for sexual content you might view. The subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish if it’s you in the sexual act or someone else, hence the physical or sexual changes occur.
So if this is the first time you are hearing this information, and are discounting what I’m saying, then feel free to dispute it. I doubted it at first too so I get where you are coming from.
The reason I’m telling you this is so you can decide what kind of “reality” you want in your mind. What do you want to connect to in your life? This work I do – is the kind where I get to help people create internal leadership skills – and the miracles I get to witness are …. well, there are no words to describe it really but I needed to find it for my own life first. The story is here if you are interested.
What if everyone you met exampled this…
“…whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things.” Ph 4:8
Would you consider this a clear description of what we could choose to connect our focus on? Imagine developing a character that is noble, just, pure and true?
Lets look at a few more examples:
When we’re focused on the negatives and the ‘not enough’s’ in life we relinquish our ability to handle situations. When emotions go up – intelligence goes down.
NEGATIVES
No one understands me.
I’m living proof of Murphy’s Law.
I’m never going to do this right.
That’s just my luck.
I have to accept my limitations.
I can’t afford this.
It’s never going to work out.
Nothing good ever happens to me.
POSITIVES
I am accepted and loved.
I expect the best, and it shows!
I am making so much progress!
God has great plans for me!
I am unstoppable!
I’ll figure out how to earn it
I ask, and I receive
I take deliberate steps to achieve my goal
By consistently directing your thoughts towards greater opportunities in your life, you will learn to practice gratitude for what you already have; money, health, family, house, food, etc. This doesn’t mean that if you merely think positive life will be a piece of cake. This means it will take consistent work on your part to bring your focus into a place that brings you internal joy. In doing so, you can train your subconscious to understand that you are already living in hope and abundance.
I recall another story of an elderly man who mentored a very angry young boy. He invited the boy to go up a mountain trail saying that when they got to their destination (not saying where that was specifically) they would find what they were looking for.
The hike took over the three hours but on the way up, the boy was saying how beautiful the views were, how pretty the day was, how good the sun felt on his back, how marvelous the skies looked, and how amazing the wild animals were. After the third hour of climbing, the man turned to the boy and said, “Okay we’re here.”
The boy looked around for a few moments, realizing they weren’t at the top yet. Expecting to see a much greater scenery or landscape, he looked around but saw nothing special in this spot.
The boy scowled and asked, “What were we suppose to find here? Did we climb all this way for nothing?!”
The old man smiled and softly replied, “When you expected to see something at the end of your journey, you felt disappointed because you couldn’t find it. While you were on the journey you saw things you couldn’t see before and yet you seemed to be very happy all along the trail. You see, all along the path of gratitude is where you will find your true happiness. It’s rarely at the end of any one’s journey.”
What you focus on expands.
So you want more love? Practice blessing and loving other people. If you want to be wealthy, then focus on the journey the wealthy person traveled to get there – but remember that wealth isn’t just in the value of money. If you want healthier, happier, relationships then journey close to those that are sincerely filled with deep gratitude, not perfection.
There is one sure thing this world offers and that is that life will always be perfectly imperfect. I’m okay with that. How about you?
Hopefully you’ve found something new and relevant to your life in this post and if so, perhaps you would be interested in removing some of the limiting beliefs you have held in your life? I have a book you may be interested in if so HERE.
I do hope you share it by re-tweeting it or posting it to your facebook friends!
Abundant Blessings+
Kellie
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
A Brave Leader Rescues Children and Connects Them to Love
AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW…
Much of my work involves interviewing people who do extraordinary things so every now and then I interview someone who goes way beyond human limitation, then helps the rest of us see that we can all take part in a much bigger role in life.
Today I want to introduce a brave man named Marcus Young. Marcus is a child rescuer. What does a child rescuer do? The short answer is that he rescues kids from the victimization of terrorists who take them from their homes as young as age 2. They are conscripted into armies then trained to kill and torture others. That’s right, as young as age 2, and there are hundreds of thousands of kids all over the world being conscripted.
The hair on my arms is standing straight up as I type these words to you. The reason is obvious for anyone who has a child of their own, but what I find most amazing is the victory that comes out of rescuing these children.
Marcus and the Project AK-47 Group have created schools, shelters, and homes for these kids to live in a loving and nurturing environment. It’s true that they are permanently scarred and horribly emotionally damaged, but there is also great triumph for those who knew a different life prior to being forced to live destructively.
My gift to you today is this exclusive interview with Marcus where he will tell us about one young girl who’s continuous stream of tears had to tell of the horrors she underwent because her words could not, after she was rescued.
His interview can be heard for free right here and please share this with as many friends and family as you can so we can do our small part to help.
FREE INTERVIEW HERE —-> http://kelliefrazier.com/marcusyoung/
I feel the life that Marcus and his group choose to live is unbelievably brave, but to them it’s just being socially responsible. They’ve created numerous ways for us to help them; for instance, we can purchase a set of dog tags with a child’s name on it for $10. Take a look –> dog tags here.
But if all you can do right now is re-tweet and forward this message all over the globe for the sake of other children who need rescuing, then please do it. I know you will – and I want you to know how much Marcus and all involved in project AK47 appreciate your efforts.
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
How One Entrepreneur Looked For Balance Until Brains and Brokeness Won Out
I’ll never forget it. When I closed my eyes I connected to everything…e-books, audios, speaking engagements, interviews and talking to certain people. Before I jump ahead of myself, let me start with a question a client once asked.
She asked: “As you grew in your career how did you maintain a balance between family and business life without driving yourself mad?”
There will always be a brilliant professor or an Aunt Betty who will remind us to make sure we keep a good balance between work and family. Most of us have grown up hearing how important it is to find the “right balance” so we can spend a proper amount of ‘quality time’ with our family and friends; and if we have our ‘priorities straight’ then happiness ‘should’ follow.
So here is how I responded to my client’s question: “I use to drive myself crazy looking for balance every day of my life until the year of 2007.”
“First,” I said, “Lets clarify that whenever we use the word ‘should’ it is like pouring a glob of shame all over your plate. Second, what I might connect to as a priority may not look the same for my spouse or children. Third, I needed to learn to be grateful, to be present no matter who I am with and to find peace in those choices. If I can bring increase to another life by doing those things then I have achieved balance.”
I could see her eyes glaze over and yours might be doing the same thing. Allow me to share a personal story with you.
In 2007 my 18-yr-old nephew was killed in a drowning accident at his college in NY. His mother, my little sister, had been planning to marry in just a few weeks before this happened, and although no one felt like celebrating a wedding right after his death, we all knew Lee would have wanted it that way.
No balance, just the feeling of joy once again after a tragic death.
When the day of her wedding arrived my little sister had her hair and make up done and she looked beautiful, more radiant than we had seen her in years really. The only problem was that when she went to get into her wedding gown it was much too small for her – as if it were two sizes too small! I remember looking up at her eyes in the mirror of the changing room. I’ll never forget the look of sheer terror. My heart went out to her as she searched my face for an explanation.
“What happened?” She asked. “How could I have gained so much weight when I haven’t even been eating?! This makes no sense!”
It was true, she had barely eaten during those awful weeks of grief, but in less than 20 minutes she’ll be walking down the isle to marry and we can’t even zip up the gown! My mind raced with wild thoughts like….”Do we go now to get a dress from the Walmart down the street? Do we find pins and a shawl of some kind to cover her back?”
I forced optimism in to my tone and declared, “Don’t worry, we’ll get you into it and although you may have to walk like a penguin… you’ll look absolutely stunning.”
Where is balance when you barely eat and yet gain weight?
What she discovered a few weeks later was that there were several large tumors growing in her abdomen, which is why her dress didn’t fit. It wasn’t long before Cancer took over her body and she too died a few months later.
Caring for her in the hospital day and night, sleeping a few hours at a time in a little wooden chair, I was not concerned about balance, only in staying present with her and showing her my deepest appreciation for what she was going through and how much I loved her.
Between the consistent travel to and from VT there was no balance in my relationship with my husband or teenage daughter. No, there was only distance between us and they did their best to understand, but it wasn’t easy.
A few months later I closed the doors to our successful investing business, which as I see it now was a good thing, but there was no balance, just exhaustion and questions in my mind about what I was to do now?
Just when things began looking up I fell on black ice and injured my brain. I lay in bed, in a chair or on the floor for the next several months having brain seizures and blackouts and no one could figure out why.
Where is balance in a world that seems upside down sometimes?
Six months after that fall something amazing happened. As weird as it sounds I awoke to a bedroom filled with unexplained light. I sat up in bed and there was no pain. I closed my eyes and began to praise God for all that I had. In my mind I saw books, and speaking engagements and all kinds of people that I would talk to.
Was I concerned about balance in that moment? Not at all… only in being present and grateful, not guilty or shaming myself for not having life under control.
I understood that balance can only be achieved from a spiritual perspective, living within and accepting the perfect order of God. You don’t have to do anything to achieve it, because it already exists right there in front of you.
There are many experts who have built their empire on the idea of how to accomplish a life of balance by working toward doing the ‘right things’, but you’re not going to hear me condone their teachings of acquiring it.
If balance, like happiness, were a destination someone would have bottled it up and sold it on the black market by now.
God set the world in motion in perfect order….with laws that are unshakable. Humans get to live within that universal order and create a life of abundance, or a life of never enough, through cause and effect. When we realize that balance comes through opportunities of being grateful, trusting fully what you hear on the inside, and learn to be fully present, the search is over.
Rich, poor, young or old, we each have the opportunity to walk in perfect balance – it’s just a matter of seeing it already exists.
It is in the journey all along your path, just like happiness, and it’s there in an orderly world.
When you release the desire for balance, and stay focused where you are at the time, really listening and taking part actively, you will find renewed relationships for both your personal life and in your business life. No guilt, no shame, no expectation or disappointment.
Staying ‘present’ and in the moment with those around you and with yourself will have much more of an impact on another person’s life and your own.
You don’t have to believe a word I say, but I can tell you there is a list of people who are achieving it every day. So the next time you are with someone… try to leave them with a sense of increase, a greater smile, encouraging words, be their cheer leader. You can’t imagine the lives you will change in the process – most importantly – Yours.
I am here to serve anyone who wants to take that journey with gusto. One way I stay on track is by interviewing ordinary people who do extraordinary things for others, so if you know of anyone who fits that description please write to me HERE. If you want to see how those pictures in my mind (mentioned in the beginning) turned into reality you can peek at a few of them–> HERE <– I’m simply saying if I can do it, so can you through faith, but you must NEVER – EVER GIVE UP!
As always, if you find this of any value please re-tweet, comment and share.
| Kellie Frazier is a Wife and Mother, a Radio Show Host on Motivational Radio, an Author and Speaker of Vision~Power~Action, and a Tele-Seminarian with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others. She teaches visionaries how to connect to their dreams, find inner strength in God, and motivate themselves toward action. If you would like to get her Connecting Secrets Package plus her 5-day Interview Series of "Leaders who Know How to Connect" delivered to your email inbox for FREE, simply fill in your name and email address in the boxes to the right --> |
The Words I Hear Can Connect America – If We Are Willing
In the morning when I awake, I am urged to listen, then to write. This does not happen every morning, but many mornings. When I listen, words come from a still small voice inside. This morning, I heard the following:
*******************************************************************************************************
You are my people. I will not harm you. If I love the lilies of the field then why would I not love you?
I carry you wherever you go. I treasure my moments with you. Your life is important to the sanctity of the church. Give back, bring peace, encounter love. Persevere in strength, in knowing I am with you even unto the end of all ages. Where my treasure is there my heart will also be.
Be fortified in your youth but come to me when you are burdened – do not wait. For when you are troubled I will restore your faith in me.
Blessed are those who seek me, they shall inherit the earth. Envision all that I have in store for you. Worry not about others and what they think. Capture MY heart, and I will strengthen you.
Many times humans want to do it ‘their’ way and not heed my instruction. If only they would listen – they would not falter.
Grant me your time and your energy – think not of yourselves but of those who are in need. Take care to bring glory to the very nature of God – the great I AM.
Why are you so proud America? Is this where you want to be? Fall on your face before me so I will restore your people. I can take hold of the bitter root and remove it permanently but you must be willing to uproot it yourself. Restore my people.
Give grace to others who have offended you. It is not your journey, but theirs who’s needs to change. Mark my words, their journey will not end but only begin if you set before them the grace they need to journey onward.
You are on the cusp of ruin today.
Open your eyes America or you shall be lost. Define what you will in whatever way you choose to blame your government, your neighbor, your children, your parents, your school systems. The need is great to bury the old way of bitter hearts and open the new way of forgiveness.
If you do not heed these words you will be defeated. Destruction will come to your path and every good and right thing will pass away.
Your lives are my journey. To take up any less of a story is incomprehensible. You are my story and nothing should prevent you from caring about that story. Journey with me. Trust me – forgive - make peace – find love in your hearts – not hate and discontent. It is the only journey that will prevent this world from self destructing. Do not wait! Do it now so you can powerfully influence others.
Take up my yoke and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart, and you’ll find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy and my burden is light.
********************************************************************************************************
All comments are moderated for approval.
Tribe, Connecting, Leadership and Parenting are Synonymous!
I believe that a child’s confidence in any leadership roles come from self confidence and approach of those who have valued them. They learn by observing, by what they practice and by explanation. This is what builds interpersonal relationships.
Whether or not you have children makes no difference to the learning in this post. I am hopeful that you can still draw from the knowledge here in.
********************************************************************************************************
Anthropologist Margaret Mead traveled the world to research why children in her country seemed so unhappy. What she discovered is that it takes an entire village to raise a child. She visited several countries and lived among them for up to 3 months at a time. She found one very important distinction between villages. In the villages where the children were with their parents more, whether in work or play, the kids were happy and well adjusted from her perspective.
The family tribe got up early in the morning and ate breakfast together, they did chores together before school and work, and went their separate ways until after noon. The parents worked with the children on their studies and afterward took the kids to work in the fields with them.
In the evening time they would walk to the village and sing and dance around a bonfire with all the other villagers. Adults and Kids laughed and danced together. How cool is that?!
In my own family tribe, of nearly 300 Gratton’s, we gather every 5th year at a camp ground to celebrate our tribe from the oldest to the youngest. We all bring our instruments, build the larget bon fire you can imagine and sing, dance, laugh and eat until the wee hours of the morning. Most try and stay at camp for the entire week because we are so close.
I wish this time of valuing one another were more often but I am grateful for the time we do have. I’d love to attach my family portrait here for you to be as impressed as I am to see such a tribe, but trust me, there isn’t enough room nor time for me to ask permission of all 300 members to publish it so you’ll just have to take my word for it, we’re a site to see in one photo.
The point I am making is that as long as the tribe stayed together the families were connected and filled with joy. The parents valued the kids enough to give them their time and their energy. That is how we build great tribes of young leaders, by valuing them and giving them our time.
Is this how you build your family? Is this how you build your business? Is this how you impact your life or the life of others?
So what is the definition of tribe according to Wikipedia? “Many anthropologists use the term ‘tribe’ to refer to societies organized largely on the basis of kinship.” There is more but for the purpose of this post that’s all I need.
The questions we ask are just as important as is our listening to how others respond. For instance, have you ever asked your kids questions like:
- What do you think of the neighborhood we live in?
- Do you like living here in our home?
- Do your friends like living here?
- What are some things about living here that you like?
- What are some things you don’t like?
- Where do you like to go to have fun?
If you could change one thing about your life here at home what would you change?
If you take the time to really listen to their answers they will tell you things you never knew they were even thinking.
For employees in your work just switch it up!
- What do you think of the company we work in?
- Do you like working here?
- Do your co-workers like working here?
- What are some things about working here that you like?
- What are some things you don’t like?
- Where do you like to go to have fun after hours?
- If you could change one thing about the company what would you change?
If you take the time to really listen to their answers they will tell you things you never knew they were even thinking. These types of questions can build the village or tribe mentality within your own home or your own company. There is a great way to connect to the heart of others and that is by asking questions that go beyond the, “is something wrong” or “are you okay?” type of questions. These type of questions will produce a no response at best.
A tribe in any village means safety, a place where no matter what happens they know you will still treat them as valuable even when you feel differently than they do about any given topic.
Maybe your kids would have suggestions on effective ways to bring about positive change within your home, or your employees would change the way you do business, but if you don’t value them by listening, you’ll never know.
I will leave you with a quote from my very first mentor: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” ~ Margaret Mead
It’s with this in mind that my new partner Pat Shanks and I are working to bring you a new website to help train anyone who wants to join a tribe for exponential growth, or build their own tribe to create growth for others. We’ll let you know when it’s launched.
As always, if you enjoyed this post please comment and share. I’d love to hear your thoughts on tribes.
