Do you often worry?  Have anxiety that keeps your knees bouncing while sitting or twirling your hair and biting your fingernails?

I’m going to share a story with you that is very personal to me.

This past month was a bit frightening as we watched our teenage daughter develop a strange and debilitating illness.  Over the years we took her to the doctors because her neck would swell up like a football player for no reason, intense black and blue marks would appear on her body that hurt her, and stomach pain with gagging reflexes at least once a month.

These symptoms were strange to us and each time we were told that it was due to stress so she was given little green pills and sent home to recover.  The odd part for us is that we saw her as a genuinely happy, open and laid back kid, so we didn’t see her as the doctors described.

She was scheduled to go to a training camp in Virginia for one week with the staff of her new summer employment, and she couldn’t wait.  The first morning there she went for an early morning run with the other staff members and sat down upon her return.  She described that moment as feeling such intense pain in her abdomen that she nearly passed out.  When she  tried to eat (this girl loves food) she would gag or vomit.  She said it felt as if there were shards of glass coming from her intestines up to her esophagus so she chose to stop eating for a while until whatever this was went away.  We had no idea the severity of what she was experiencing, nor did anyone at the camp.

By the time she got home several days later, she was very pale, had lost a significant amount of weight in her face and was in constant pain.

We found another doctor and insisted they run a series of tests including an x-ray of her abdomen.  Tests revealed a thickened mass attached to her breastbone so we ordered a CT scan.   Our daughter knows I’ve lost many family members to cancer so immediately she began to think the worst, and I hate to admit it, but so did we.

Ten days after this illness began it ended.  I wanted to share the ‘how’ with you because at any time any one can end up with a similar focus, and if you do, I want to help you know what to do.

She had lost over 6 pounds, had no energy and was still not eating.   A friend of mine, Kevin Rath, connected with me and reminded me that we had been focusing more on the “dis”-“ease”  rather than on her optimum health.  He was completely right!

He reminded me that joy of any kind is like good medicine to the spirit so we focused on laughter, we focused on the victory we have over illness all throughout the following days. We chose to speak only of health and healing and not of the illness. We gave her vitamins in liquid form and we remained grateful for every drop that stayed in her system. We sang, we prayed and we remained hopeful.

We still don’t know what actually happened to cause this intense pain, and the docs are still stumped, but 2 days later she was completely back to normal.  The CT scan was clean, and just last night she said, “Mom, I feel better than normal. I haven’t felt this good in months.”

She also realized that her fear (and ours because she could see and hear it in us) caused much of her subconscious poor health. It was amazing watching her connect to internal leadership abilities and take charge of her life again.

A simple shift in all of our focus manifested health and healing.  What would have happened if we had not shifted our focus?  We believe we would have eventually manifested the demise of our daughter.  Was it a miracle?  We choose to see it that way and are grateful to our very core to see her healed.

Some will say that this is hogwash

Some will say that thinking about what you don’t have in life is simply being ‘realistic’. But I say, if your focus were different you would see the world in a whole new way. Not “might see” but “would see”.

The subconscious cannot distinguish the difference between imagination and reality.  The front of your brain reasons everything out, while the subconscious mind is obedient to the act of whatever it is you are thinking about.

For instance, if you are watching violence on TV, then your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between you doing the violent acts or not.  This may explain why nightmares occur after watching a horror flick.  The same holds true for sexual content you might view.  The subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish if it’s you in the sexual act or someone else, hence the physical or sexual changes occur.

So if this is the first time you are hearing this information, and are discounting what I’m saying, then feel free to dispute it.  I doubted it at first too so I get where you are coming from.

The reason I’m telling you this is so you can decide what kind of “reality” you want in your mind. What do you want to connect to in your life?  This work I do – is the kind where I get to help people create internal leadership skills – and the miracles I get to witness are ….  well, there are no words to describe it really but I needed to find it for my own life first. The story is here if you are interested.

What if everyone you met exampled this…

“…whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things.” Ph 4:8

Would you consider this a clear description of what we could choose to connect our focus on?  Imagine developing a character that is noble, just, pure and true?

Lets look at a few more examples:

When we’re focused on the negatives and the ‘not enough’s’ in life we relinquish our ability to handle situations.  When emotions go up – intelligence goes down.

NEGATIVES
No one understands me.
I’m living proof of Murphy’s Law.
I’m never going to do this right.
That’s just my luck.
I have to accept my limitations.
I can’t afford this.
It’s never going to work out.
Nothing good ever happens to me.

POSITIVES

I am accepted and loved.
I expect the best, and it shows!
I am making so much progress!
God has great plans for me!
I am unstoppable!
I’ll figure out how to earn it
I ask, and I receive
I take deliberate steps to achieve my goal

By consistently directing your thoughts towards greater opportunities in your life, you will learn to practice gratitude for what you already have; money, health, family, house, food, etc.  This doesn’t mean that if you merely think positive life will be a piece of cake. This means it will take consistent work on your part to bring your focus into a place that brings you internal joy. In doing so, you can train your subconscious to understand that you are already living in hope and abundance.

I recall another story of an elderly man who mentored a very angry young boy. He invited the boy to go up a mountain trail saying that when they got to their destination (not saying where that was specifically) they would find what they were looking for.

The hike took over the three hours but on the way up, the boy was saying how beautiful the views were, how pretty the day was, how good the sun felt on his back, how marvelous the skies looked, and how amazing the wild animals were. After the third hour of climbing, the man turned to the boy and said, “Okay we’re here.”

The boy looked around for a few moments, realizing they weren’t at the top yet. Expecting to see a much greater scenery or landscape, he looked around but saw nothing special in this spot.

The boy scowled and asked, “What were we suppose to find here? Did we climb all this way for nothing?!”

The old man smiled and softly replied, “When you expected to see something at the end of your journey, you felt disappointed because you couldn’t find it. While you were on the journey you saw things you couldn’t see before and yet you seemed to be very happy all along the trail. You see, all along the path of gratitude is where you will find your true happiness. It’s rarely at the end of any one’s journey.”

What you focus on expands.

So you want more love?  Practice blessing and loving other people. If you want to be wealthy, then focus on the journey the wealthy person traveled to get there – but remember that wealth isn’t just in the value of money. If you want healthier, happier, relationships then journey close to those that are sincerely filled with deep gratitude, not perfection.

There is one sure thing this world offers and that is that life will always be perfectly imperfect.  I’m okay with that.  How about you?

Hopefully you’ve found something new and relevant to your life in this post and if so, perhaps you would be interested in removing some of the limiting beliefs you have held in your life? I have a book you may be interested in if so HERE.

I do hope you share it by re-tweeting it or posting it to your facebook friends!

Abundant Blessings+

Kellie

Whether or not you have children makes no difference to the learning in this post.  I am hopeful that you can still draw from the knowledge here in.

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Anthropologist Margaret Mead traveled the world to research why children in her country seemed so unhappy.  What she discovered is that it takes an entire village to raise a child.  She visited several countries and lived among them for up to 3 months at a time.  She found one very important distinction between villages.  In the villages where the children were with their parents more, whether in work or play, the kids were happy and well adjusted from her perspective.

The family tribe got up early in the morning and ate breakfast together, they did chores together before school and work, and went their separate ways until after noon.  The parents worked with the children on their studies and afterward took the kids to work in the fields with them.

In the evening time they would walk to the village and sing and dance around a bonfire with all the other villagers.  Adults and Kids laughed and danced together.  How cool is that?!

In my own family tribe, of nearly 300 Gratton’s, we gather every 5th year at a camp ground to celebrate our tribe from the oldest to the youngest.  We all bring our instruments, build the larget bon fire you can imagine and sing, dance, laugh and eat until the wee hours of the morning.  Most try and stay at camp for the entire week because we are so close.

I wish this time of valuing one another were more often but I am grateful for the time we do have.  I’d love to attach my family portrait here for you to be as impressed as I am to see such a tribe, but trust me, there isn’t enough room nor time for me to ask permission of all 300 members to publish it so you’ll just have to take my word for it, we’re a site to see in one photo.

The point I am making is that as long as the tribe stayed together the families were connected and filled with joy. The parents valued the kids enough to give them their time and their energy.  That is how we build great tribes of young leaders, by valuing them and giving them our time.

Is this how you build your family?  Is this how you build your business?  Is this how you impact your life or the life of others?

So what is the definition of tribe according to Wikipedia?  “Many anthropologists use the term ‘tribe’ to refer to societies organized largely on the basis of kinship.”  There is more but for the purpose of this post that’s all I need.

The questions we ask are just as important as is our listening to how others respond. For instance, have you ever asked your kids questions like:

• What do you think of the neighborhood we live in?
• Do you like living here in our home?
• Do your friends like living here?
• What are some things about living here that you like?
• What are some things you don’t like?
• Where do you like to go to have fun?
  If you could change one thing about your life here at home what would you change?
  If you take the time to really listen to their answers they will tell you things you never knew they were even thinking.

For employees in your work just switch it up!

• What do you think of the company we work in?
• Do you like working here?
• Do your co-workers like working here?
• What are some things about working here that you like?
• What are some things you don’t like?
• Where do you like to go to have fun after hours?
• If you could change one thing about the company what would you change?

If you take the time to really listen to their answers they will tell you things you never knew they were even thinking.  These types of questions can build the village or tribe mentality within your own home or your own company.  There is a great way to connect to the heart of others and that is by asking questions that go beyond the, “is something wrong” or “are you okay?” type of questions. These type of questions will produce a no response at best.

A tribe in any village means safety, a place where no matter what happens they know you will still treat them as valuable even when you feel differently than they do about any given topic.

Maybe your kids would have suggestions on effective ways to bring about positive change within your home, or your employees would change the way you do business, but if you don’t value them by listening, you’ll never know.

I will leave you with a quote from my very first mentor:   “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” ~ Margaret Mead

It’s with this in mind that my new partner Pat Shanks and I are working to bring you a new website to help train anyone who wants to join a tribe for exponential growth, or build their own tribe to create growth for others.   We’ll let you know when it’s launched.

As always, if you enjoyed this post please comment and share.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on tribes.

Since starting Twitter a few months ago I’ve communicated with people like Tom Ziglar, son of world renowned Zig Ziglar and the amazing Chris Knight of Ezine Articles (this is where I publish my articles that bring outstanding traffic flow and I recommend you sign up too by Clicking Here .

Twitter also keeps me involved in my hobby of music; for instance, I know what the judges are thinking about the contestants on American Idol, or I can connect with singer/song writers like Natalie Grant who tells us where she’s going to be playing and how she feels about most of her concerts…and the list goes on.

Perhaps all that sounds exciting to some, but none of the above reasons are why I am on Twitter.  I want people to know, like and trust me as someone who wants to inspire and increase others as I am led to and Twitter gives me the platform to do that.  It has brought exposure to the professional world in the quickest way possible.

While you might think Twitter may not be important to anyone who is not in business, remember that Twitter has a social aspect that can build relationships as well. You never know who you’ll meet!

If you have a company and you’re not on Twitter, I believe you are making a HUGE mistake.  It is like going to an extremely large Networking meeting every day, without ever leaving your office, and yet reaching thousands of people at one time.  Sound interesting?  I hope to see you on Twitter!