Domestic Violence

I wrote this article after talking to a woman who kept going back to her abusive husband over and over again.  It was apparent that she felt no sense of self worth after being raised in an abusive home, and now she was teaching her two daughters the same behaviors but she couldn’t see it.  Until parents can advance in their own personal courage, they can’t teach their children to be responsible or accountable.  They can and will perpetuate the fearful patterns of an unworthy lifestyle.

And so, I wrote the following article.

There are two kinds of people: those who want to find a solution to a problem they own, and those who want to find peace from someone else’s problem.

When you grow up in an atmosphere of domestic violence it seems very “normal” to live in an uncontrolled way. Hence, it isn’t surprising that if you came from an abusive home and have ended up in a relationship that is also abusive, that clearly you can’t see how you are responsible for how others treat you or that you are accountable for acting on it. You don’t know what you don’t know.

Most people think they understand what it means to be responsible and what it means to be accountable, when in fact, they were never taught. Abusive homes do not teach responsibility or accountability effectively because it takes a level of civility.

Responsibility is the obligation to act; accountability is the obligation to answer for that act. Until you understand what they both look like, it would be hard for you to see your choices clearly enough to stop running from the problem.

Examples of responsibility:

• A particular obligation by one who is responsible – caring for the needs of children.

• Reliability or dependability – meeting debts or payments.

• Choosing to do something based on one’s own initiative or authority – getting out of a bad situation.

Examples of accountability:

• To demonstrate or exercise the responsibility for a specific act – seeking ways to find help.

• Improving the achieved goal and being rewarded for success – finding an atmosphere that is pain free.

• An obligation to report on following through with responsibilities – getting an accountability partner who can help you stay on track with your goals.

Now that you know the difference, what is your next step? Choose this day to be responsible for a particular action. Act on it before the end of the day. After acting on it, reward yourself for being accountable on performing the action. It all starts with making one decision and doing it to the best of your ability. Repeating the choice with similar actions can, and will, change your life.

7 Keys To Happiness

What if I told you that you hold the key to making this world a better place?

I have a child who is still young enough to be influenced by you.  How are you going to influence her?  Every single one of us can change the world, can change how the universe is affected by the actions we take.

What actions are you taking to make a difference to the world?

The following information is so valuable, and so key to living, that I needed to recount the principles I’ve heard great speakers talk about.

1.  Being Responsible – No one really understands what it means.  One side is blaming, the other is saying its not their fault.  I’ve had some tragic things happen in my younger years but I see where I made choices that led me to those very things that I didn’t want or like.  Being responsible means making better choices.

2.  Seek Wisdom – I’m not talking about education. Real wisdom is rare and comes to us by the associations we have and how closely we let it sink in. If you invest in yourself, your time with God, your moments of creative ideas, you’ll see that the one investment you can control is yourself. Seek wisdom with all your heart.

3.  Be a Person of Action – If you think this is easy you are not a person of action. A butterfly can move their wings at a vibrational rate of one million flaps per second. One man can make one move and it can make a difference in the entire world. Every single action makes a difference to everyone you know and every one around you.

4.  Have a Decided Heart – Talking to your friends and family about your decisions before you make it, then after you make a decision is you analyze it and go back to ask if it was the right decision! Decide what you want and go after it.

5.  Choose to Be Happy – you have so much to be grateful for. If you’ve ever traveled to different countries than you know how much you have to be grateful for. I’ve seen children pulling food out of dumpsters to eat and then being beaten by authority for begging to eat. If you’ve washed your hands with clear, clean water today than you have something to be grateful for.

If there is a huge relationship killer that is simple to do it’s this one.  Smile while you talk.  People can’t help but smile back at you when you are smiling at them while you talk.  Practice it!  See what you look like.  This is one of the biggest secrets to success if you’re willing to choose to be happy when you talk.

6.  End Each Night With a Forgiving Spirit – You are not required to trust someone who has hurt you. You can choose to hold on to an unforgiving heart and have your entire body, mind and spirit in collapse. Your relationships will suffer, your business will suffer, everything suffers. Forgiveness brings perspective, a new perspective can bring calm, calm brings ideas and ideas bring success. All from the choice to forgive.

7.  Persist Without Exception – If it were easy everyone would be doing it. When coins drop you’ll dive to get them because anything worth going after is worth hitting a wall over. You will never lack in money, time, leadership. It is only ideas that you are lacking. Stay strong and persist.

These simple tips are well worth incorporating in your life.

It will bring back new life to you, not keep you dwelling on the old.  It’s not about what your parents did or did not do, whether you were poor or wealthy, or whether you are educated or not.  How you think will drastically change how you feel. Take steps today to improve your life by deciding to live your best!

Chances are I don’t know you, but even so, I want you to have enough faith in what you are capable of doing to get you through today with confidence and joy.   If I want that for you, as a total stranger, imagine how much more your creator must want for you?